faderift | Life in Camp Shady Fuckers

Skip to Main Content

Entry tags:

Life in Camp Shady Fuckers

WHO: Everyone living in or visiting the Warden camp
WHAT: Just some low-key action-spammy stuff for a bunch of sketchy losers who got tossed into the camp for sketchy losers. And the people who come to hang out because sketchy losers are the coolest losers.
WHEN: Vaguely stretching around Cloudreach?? Nothing is set in stone, time is an illusion
WHERE: ~~Camp Shady Fuckers~~ The Warden camp
NOTES: Just throw whatever warnings necessary in the heads of your threads

Just throw opens or whatever up this is a low-key general mingly kinda thing for hanging out and shouting at each other. Feel free to interrupt other threads or whatever and idk man this is basically like a network post but in real life.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Yarn in laps is appealing to some people. Or some things. Like kittens. Specifically, like a kitten that's just jumped out of a certain mage's belt pouch and dashed over to Bethany to help.

Or not help.

Not help, really.]

Why are no other cats like Ser Pounce-a-lot?

Because Ser Pounce-a-Lot was the chosen pet of the Hero of Fereldan, so clearly he was a superior cat.

[Was Bethany's wry response, even as she laughed as she tried to get the ball of yarn away from the Hero of Purreldan.]

You are an adorable furry brat, aren't you?

Nate chose Purrelden.

[It's delivered almost defensively, and then he has to smile faintly.]

Which means yes, that's likely it.

[Anders sits down and helps retrieve his kitten from the yarn, turning her and dangling a belt end in front of her so she starts playing with that instead.]

Is now an all right time to talk?

Which means he's adorable, but trouble. I know the sorts Nathaniel picks up.

[So ... Anders. Herself. Any and all other troublemakers.]

But the Hero of Purreldan probably has more gumption, so he'll fit in better here.

[She looks up at him, rolling her yarn back up into her lap so she can continue knitting.]

Of course, I always have time for my friends.

Picks up indeed.

[It's said lightly, more as a means of pausing before he heads into a difficult topic.]

You've been... You've... There's... Sorry.

[Anders takes a breath and gets himself together.]

All my life, what I've most cared about has been used against me. And so I've told no one about the man made Tranquil to get at me.

[He meets her eyes. He's deliberately not saying Karl's name because he doesn't want something like that to be overheard.]

But people know. And mention you as talking about him.

[There's no anger in his voice, just hesitation and strain.]

Have you been?

[Bethany frowns for a moment, as she continues to knit, but her needles stop altogether and then her jaw sets into a firm line. Anger flashes across her face then, and she puts her needles aside before she goes up to the castle to stab a certain spymaster through her beautiful blue eye.]

I have brought up Karl once, and only once, to Nathaniel. If someone has been saying that I have spread the tale from here to the ends of Thedas then they were either eavesdropping on mine and Nathaniel's conversation, or they have been reading my own personal letters. If that person is who I think it is, then she and I are going to have more serious problems than my breaking her trust if she is threatening you with that knowledge.

[He holds up the hand not currently keeping Purrelden occupied, shaking his head.]

I've not... I've not been threatened with it yet. And I didn't hear that you'd spread it around, simply that you've spoken of it. I'm trying to explain why it's a big deal. And ask that it not come up again.

[It's in letters too. Maker help him, he can feel fear start to build. She's a mage who might know where Hawke is, of course her letters are being intercepted and read.]

[Bethany's lips pressed together, before she folded her fingers so tightly together than the skin began to turn white as her face.]

I am ... yes, of course, Anders. I am so sorry. Again, my tongue should be cut from my head.

[Her words had hurt another friend, had put them in danger. When would she ever learn?]

[He stops playing with the cat and reaches out to rest his hands on hers.]

No. You didn't know. I never... I don't talk about that. About things being used. You've very little of my past and you've known me for years, and so it's not something to be that upset with yourself about. I accept the apology.

[She looks down at their hands together, before she exhaled harshly.]

This is why people think I am naive ... because I do things like this. Oh, Maker. I wish I had stayed in the Deep Roads.

No.

[That's more harsh.]

No, don't ever think that. Imagine what that would have done to everyone who cared about you? Hurt is... If I knew how to stop hurting people, I'd tell you. I've... I've hurt so many, and I wish I hadn't, but death is not the answer.

Yes, but it's not just hurting people's feelings, is it? It's risking lives ...

[She trailed off, a troubled expression on her face.] No, death isn't the answer. Perhaps starting to trust less is. Hardening up more. I didn't think I could get any harder without breaking me -- but it looks like with this war I am going to have to.

Please don't. Please, Bethany.

[His hands tighten on hers.]

I...

[He opens up so little, and every time is difficult, but she needs this.]

I trust so few. I have walls up so often. And I don't... It's not... It's not rewarding. It's lonely. I have to do it. I've had to, to survive. But you don't, and I don't want that for you. This isn't, I'm not trying to guilt you with what I'm about to say, please know that, but Marian wouldn't want that for you either and you know it.

[She looks up at him, her brown eyes still clouded over, before she squeezed his hands in hers again.]

... I know. Marian wanted so much more for me - and she's always felt so guilty for making me become a Warden to save me. [She sighed down at her hands.] Maker only knows, it took me seven years to forgive her completely. I just ... I never wanted to hurt you, Anders. I never wanted to betray your trust - or Leliana's. I never meant for Nathaniel to get hurt - but sometimes I am so ... so heedless of the dangers around me.

[She shook her head again.] Remember when Varric gave Merrill that twine, so she wouldn't get lost? Maybe you and Nathaniel should give me a gag, so I know when to shut up.

[Barely he refrains from making a snarky comment about Leliana. This isn't about her.]

The nature of any close relationship, family, friendship, otherwise, means that hurt is going to happen. You are open to these people like no one else. The nature of being mature is knowing when someone did something entirely by accident.

[He is rarely mature.]

Be exceedingly quiet on stealth missions, remember when something has hurt someone else and don't bring it up, and you'll do far better. There's no need for a gag.

[She looks over at him, and exhales again.]

I will try. I am learning. Intrigue has never really much been my game -- but I can be quiet, for Maker's sake. I never would have stayed out of the Circle as long as I did if I didn't know how to do that. I suppose it's just a matter of remembering.

[She looked at him, soberly.]

But I shan't speak of this to another soul. Not even someone who knows, like Carver, or Marian. I don't want this spread any further.

Intrigue's not really my game either. As you've likely seen at the card table.

[He gives her a faint smile.]

But thank you, Bethany. Adelaide's not the sort to use it against me, and Nate is trustworthy, but neither of them could have any idea of how it could go. I just... It's hard to not worry.

...You are truly terrible at cards. You and Merrill both.

[Bethany mused, before she gave him a sad smile in turn.]

I know it is. I know it's hard for you to trust. I ... will try to be worthy of it.

Bethany.

[He meets her eyes, lets the moment linger for a moment. After all he's done? And she's a mage who has been through so much on top of that.]

You are.

[... Maker be damned, Anders, she was trying not to cry. A few fat tears slide down her cheek, and she wipes them away.]

Well. Good. Because I trust you ... not to do idiotic things. So, don't do idiotic things.

That's... Not the best thing to trust me for.

[You should really know better by now, Bethany, and he tries to act like he's not noticed her crying. It doesn't seem to be wanted.]

I can try. I certainly will try. But I've not got the best track record there.

No, it certainly is not. But if you trust me not to slip up and say something I shouldn't - which I apparently don't have the best track record for ...

[She shrugged her shoulders, her brown eyes quiet.]

It seems like the best thing we can do for one another, is to have a little faith in one another, yes?

[He can't actually argue with that.]

You've a point. I'll... I'll do what I can.

[No he can't.]

Well, then we have an agreement.

[She looks at him for a long moment, before her voice softens.]

It still hurts, doesn't it? Losing Karl.

[Anders looks down.]

I don't know if it will ever stop hurting. It's not just losing him. It's...

[He takes a slow breath. Trust. He can trust. His gaze meets hers again for a moment as he gathers up his courage.]

I've been powerless a majority of my life. And that was emphasized over and over. Taking Karl away was the, the ultimate demonstration of how they could take everything whenever they wanted, however they wanted. They took him from himself, and they took him from me, because they could. They didn't have to. They could have copied his handwriting and held him in the Chantry and I would have come. I was... I was powerless again, but because I was powerless, someone else suffered too.

[Which is a large part of why he'd been complicit with blowing up the Chantry. For years he'd tried every peaceful option, every radical one that didn't involve taking lives, and even had killed a few Templars, Alrik included. It had done nothing.]

He's an active reminder of everything that has ever hurt.

[And everything that Anders may never find again.]

(no subject)

sunshinethroughgrey - 2016-04-17 22:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

justice_is_blond - 2016-04-18 01:45 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

sunshinethroughgrey - 2016-04-18 05:04 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

justice_is_blond - 2016-04-19 08:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

sunshinethroughgrey - 2016-04-20 02:23 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

justice_is_blond - 2016-04-21 08:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

sunshinethroughgrey - 2016-04-24 16:28 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only