faderift | [Open] Save tonight, fight the break of dawn

WHO: Anders and OPEN
WHAT: The last open log with J!Anders before Justice is gone
WHEN: Mid-Justinian, from around the 8th to the 15th
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Anders, as usual. Prose or brackets work, I've just started everything in prose because that's less html I can screw up.

Healing Tents

Anders (and kitten) are constant sights in the healing tents in Skyhold from morning until evening. One of them works. One of them prefers to play, and is currently most fascinated by a slowly-unraveling string from a scrap of cloth that the larger of the two made sure was dangling down to draw attention.

"Watch the cat," is the warning someone coming in gets first, before being nodded toward the nearest table right away whether they've got a visible injury or not. That they're here for medical reasons is the safest assumption.

Library

He can be found here an early evening, paging through older books with a few pieces of parchment next to him where he's taking notes. Or hoping to. The top page is mostly blank, though, and Anders is frowning as he closes one book and pulls another off one of the few stacks he's made around himself.

People walking past don't even get glances, he's busy and he doesn't care if there are glares shot in his direction right now. People who stop get a glance up with a raised eyebrow and neutral-as-he-can-make-it expression.

Training Circle

It's early. Ridiculously early, early enough to be considered late the next day and that's why he's here now, working with his staff against a dummy. An opponent would be better, but few are here at this hour, and no one who was there when he arrived is someone he'd trust to work instead of actually attack. That being said, for once he's not seemingly radiating irritation and aggravation and he's even looking over as other people start to show up. He could use a hand and he knows it.

Hot Springs

He enters a little hastily, freezing after sweating in the cold and needing to get ready to head into the healing tents. There's not a lot of time to linger. ...but that thought fades away once he's fully in the water. It's so warm that he's sinking in to his chin almost right away, and really only leaving his face above water so he can keep an eye on Purrelden as the kitten chases a beetle.

Courtyard

Not since his Detlef days has he actually sat out here for a time. Dinner tonight is a simple affair, a few strips of meat washed down with a weak excuse for ale along with some a handful of fruit and nuts, but it seems better out here in the open air. People passing by get a nod whether they look at him with a smile or a scowl; he's actually not in a mood to fight right now. In a week's time he might be dead, he might be entirely without hope of having his head to himself again, or he might be alone in his head. It's an odd feeling, and the chill breeze and stars seem perfectly suited for it. There's room on the bench to join him, a cat on his shoulder, and he's... at peace.

[For Cole]

Since River and Simon's disappearance, Anders has been looking out for glances of Cole more often, just... checking on the boy. He's worried about River, and while she and Cole aren't exactly the same, thinking of one brings the other to mind often. Popping up to the third floor of the tavern one evening bears fruit and Anders smiles as he heads over to join Cole.

"Hello. I... I realize I've not actually thought of what to say when I do run into you. You're doing well?"

[For Zevran]

This speech, however, he's practiced repeatedly, and as Anders knocks on Zevran's door with a package in hand, there's a whole lot of amusement in his voice.

"Zevran? I know you said not to bring back a cow, but..."

[For Nate]

It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous, and potentially useless, and there's not a chance that Nate will hate the wriggling animal in Anders' arms because Nate is Fereldan. In fact, he'll probably love it. Anders is counting on that. He hadn't exactly been counting on Purrelden being confused, though, so the cat on his head digging small claws in as she struggles to stay perched and far away from the tiny confusing barking thing is not something he'd been prepared for. Anders ducks into their tent awkwardly, hoping Nate's in there and talking without even looking.

"A little help, please?"

Wildcard me!

[Want something with Anders? Come on in! Start a header, or poke me on Plurk at Nadat for one. He's easily found around the healing tents in Skyhold and around Camp Shady Fucker/the Warden camp.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It was rare that Eirlys got this much time to herself. As she hadn't a room of her own to return to, sleeping when she could in whichever cot in the healing tents happened to be empty at the time, she'd tried to find quieter places in which to decompress and to practice in secret the basic reading and writing tips that Korrin was giving her. That had been her intention when she'd wandered down to the hot springs tonight, but when she arrives the temptation to just relax and soak and try to banish the ache from her bones is far too strong.

She sinks down into the warm water until only her head is visible, her long hair floating in a halo around her, rubbing and massaging sore muscles and feeling as though she's doing something almost scandalous just by treating herself to this.

"I hope you don't mind the company."

He'd opened his eyes briefly when someone had come in, given her a faint smile, and closed them again while she got situated. Purrelden's currently napping on the towel, Anders is warm, and Eirlys isn't a threat. When she speaks he opens them up again.

"I don't mind at all. It's rather nice here, isn't it? I've not been in a while, but this is so much better than the river by the Warden camp." He sits up a little more so that his shoulders are out of the water as he continues to lean against one of the walls of the spring. "How are things? Have you stayed in Skyhold the last month, or were you elsewhere?"

"Yes, it's very peaceful. It's probably the only place here where I can almost forget all the chaos going on." She sighs happily as the knots and aches leave her body.

Her state of semi-reverie is broken at Anders' question, her face clouding over a little as she casts her mind back to the last few weeks. "I went with the forces to the Western Approach. I was at Adamant Fortress when... well, you've probably heard what happened." It still made her feel ill to think of her physical journey through the Fade.

The trailing off and end of her reply have him sitting up a little and opening his eyes back up.

"A few things. Mostly vague. I'm sorry. I don't really... Weisshaupt wasn't much better. It seems the state of things, really. There's bad, and other bad. One hopes that eventually the bad goes to visit other people, but it doesn't ever really do that." A beat. "I suppose we'd be the bad news for some groups."

And he is the bad story for many. He's not sure that's satisfying. At all.

"It'll never end," Eirlys says quietly. "Even if the Inquisition accomplishes everything it's set out to do, there'll still be another bad thing to confront or hide from." Her overcast expression melts into a thoughtful smile. "But maybe we need it. Otherwise how would we truly appreciate the good?"

"I'd say there's plenty of ways to appreciate the good without bad, but I've actually... little memory of the times before it all went bad. I was a little young, that was a little long ago." He shakes his head. "A break, though, perhaps two, three, maybe even four days, would be nice. I'd like to ask for years, but I know what happens when I ask for something."

Nothing. Or rather, worse than nothing - it doesn't come to pass.

"We could always send Corypheus a polite letter asking to give us a few days," she says a little dryly, wishing the world would wait for them to catch up sometimes.

"Yes, let's get on that. Polite letters have always worked for me." His sarcasm isn't directed at her, simply the world around them. "Perhaps one day will be all good. I can't even imagine what sort of a shape that would take. Maybe everyone in hot springs and a lot of cats playing around the area. And fruit pies, and wine."

"For me it would be a garden, with bright flowers and a little stream at the bottom." She can't help but laugh a little at her own imaginings.

He gives her a small smile. "Even if I never get an all-good day, I've at least met some good people here. Including you, Eirlys." In a few days he might be dead. He's had this, though. This has been nice.

Eirlys' smile fades a little and she regards him with a worried gaze. "You say that as though you don't expect to see many more days at all, good or bad."

For a few moments he's quiet. When he speaks, he's rather somber. "I'm trying something that could be very risky to me. And others, volunteers. I don't know that it will go well. But it's better that we try this than not." He'd like to no longer be a threat to people he cares about.

Eirlys regards him closely. His stark tone, the vague way he talks... she can imagine the same demeanour from him in Kirkwall, just before he'd done something that still sickened her no matter how much she called him her friend.

"People are going to get hurt, aren't they?"

"Very likely. I've no idea why they're volunteering; I've warned them all. It might not even do anything. Considering the pain the last one put me through, it may even wind up killing me."

He takes a slow breath and lets it out just as slowly.

"But when the option is not doing anything and possibly having current issues get... worse, it's not that hard of a choice."

"There are other ways of resolving things," Eirlys insists, terrified he's going to do something drastic and irreversible. "Everyone here's working so hard. Please don't do anything to undermine that. You have people here who care about you."

Anders gives her a tight, tired, small smile.

"I'm an abomination, Eirlys, and my control is not perfect. If I don't try this, then people I care about are more likely to get physically injured as well as emotionally."

He shakes his head. "I've no right to continue putting everyone at risk the way I am by being here. This is the only way."

[Open] Save tonight, fight the break of dawn

Hot Springs

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