faderift | Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

After drills are over and Cade is ready, Nathaniel is sitting by James and waiting for him, reading a book which he has to hold a good way away. When he sees Cade approach, he closes the book and sets it down on the bench. He stands and offers his hand to shake.

"Ser Cade. It's a pleasure. I am Senior Warden Nathaniel Howe."

Cade has been nervous about this all day, and it's been obvious during his drills: he's distracted, worried, and can't get his head out of the clouds.
When the fateful moment finally arrives, he comes over to the pair, very mindfully not slinking, since he knows they hate that. So he stands straight, and though he still can't bring himself to make eye contact, he does take Nate's hand to shake it.

"Warden Howe," he timidly replies.

James was standing at an angle, so he could observe drills as they finished, and focus on the conversation at hand. When Cade arrived, he was happy to note the man didn't slump ... but he did avoid eye-contact. "Ser Harrimann, Senior Warden Howe has some questions to ask you. Please answer him as truthfully as you would answer to me."

He wasn't about to have this turn into a 'he is HIDING SOMETHING' interrogation. Just the facts, if you please.

Nathaniel sits, which indicates that Cade is free to do so as well.

"I understand you were in the healing tents recently," he says gently. "Are you feeling better?"

Edited 2017-03-10 20:20 (UTC)

Cade does so automatically, glancing to Norrington with that same air of worry. He folds his hands in his lap to keep them still.

"Yes," he says quietly, "thank you." He's going to be thrown in the dungeon or killed or maybe both.

Norrington shakes his head a little, before tipping his chin up encouragingly for the other man to go on. They just want to know what happened.

They want to know what happened, yes. But Cade is not in trouble yet, and people give themselves more freely if you are polite and they feel at ease and respected. Nathaniel has spent years practicing on Velanna.

"Can you tell me what happened between you and Anders? Starting with walking away from your tent."

Cade looks at his hands. "I um. I got restless, so... I... went a little ways away. From the healers. To be alone." He had been in the general vicinity of the healing tents, but, to Anders' credit, not where he was supposed to be.
"He came over and told me to go back. And um." At this Cade goes red, knowing he's pretty obviously int he wrong here. "...I wouldn't. Because he's..." He clamps his mouth shut and rubs the back of his neck, glancing furtively between Norrington and Howe. Neither of them was in Kirkwall, neither understands the exact thought process of being told what to do by the person who was, at least superficially, responsible for what has turned into years of intrinsic terror.

"I... think I... started to go back?" he continues, his voice lowering; he had panicked, which often means he blanks out, and this time is no exception. "...but I fell, and..." He winces. Everything after this is jumbled shouting and blind fear, anger, something in between.
"Someone-- that chantry brother-- arrived and gave me his crutch. And then I went back." His shoulders hunch slightly. As usual, Cade hardly comes out looking like the innocent party. But if there's one hill he'll die on, it's having nothing to do with That Mage.

The lad is going to fall apart any day now, Nathaniel predicts with an internal wince of sympathy.

"Anders said you threatened to kill him. Is that true?"

Visibly nervous, Cade thinks on it, then gives a small nod. "I think so," he says, almost too quietly to be heard. It seems like something he would do, and he does have a vague recollection of it.

Norrington glanced over at Howe, his gaze speaking volumes, before he turns his gaze back to Cade. He folds his hands behind him, encouraging the young man to continue on with his explanation. Norrington took a moment to gentle his voice, "Try to remember what you can, Cade."

Nathaniel isn't here to punish or accuse anyone. Unfortunately, he can only be so gentle before it becomes unjust to Anders. He nods, but does not comment on the admission.

"As the Knight-Commander says. Try to remember everything you can. What else happened?"

He doesn't want to ask if Anders cast magic on him. He doesn't want to put any accusations into that head that aren't already there.

Cade's expression goes distant for a moment as he searches his memory. He's weary from being constantly nervous, and isn't sure how much more use he's going to be.
"I think he tried to touch me," he says, and gives a full-body shudder, wincing. It's not the kind of reaction one tends to have to potential violence; it's more of revulsion than of fear.
"If he has to be here," he says to the ground, "I don't want him anywhere near me." Anders killed a Grand Cleric, destroyed a sacred place, and stands tall and strong and openly himself as though unaffected. Cade's duties at the time were to capture and kill maleficarum, a job description that, at some point between then and now, not only went away but became a punishable offense. He can be forced to tolerate said maleficar in his proximity, but will never accept or work with him.

James now gave Nathaniel a look of, 'See, what did I tell you?' before he exhaled noisily and stated with as much deadpanned expression as he possibly could, "No one is going to force you to go to Anders for healing, Cade. No one is going to force you to do anything. If you want to be the stubborn idiot who doesn't want to be healed by a mage at all? Again, neither Senior Warden Howe or I can stop you. But I will remind you that it was a mage healer who saved you from Red Lyrium to begin with, and that mage healers outnumber non-magical ones three to one. If you won't go to Anders, go to Bruce, or Sam."

He leveled a firm gaze, "We're all in this together. We need to start acting like it here, as well."

Edited (because the language was hinky) 2017-03-10 23:08 (UTC)

That revulsion erodes the sympathy on Nathaniel's face. The boy isn't afraid of a bogeyman. He's only concerned with being contaminated by someone who did a bad thing. I think he tried to touch me. That merits a death threat? Nathaniel scowls and stands, walking a few paces away to cool off while James deals with his man.

Cade feels a pang of dismay when he's called an idiot, and he shakes his head quickly, hurt. "I let mages heal me, ser," he insists, perhaps too quietly-- he's a Templar, so of course he's used to being around mages and dealing with their skills. It's just this one in particular.
He nods nonetheless, lowering his head to rest it in his hands, trying to slow his breathing and his pounding heartbeat.
There are times when Cade swears he can still smell the smoke, the ozone, the human viscera, the hideous olfactory cocktail of every atrocity committed that night. It paralyzes him, freezes his blood in his veins, and he knows beyond certainty that there will be no tomorrow, and if there is, it will be horrible.

But he's able to maintain his attention, for now. He doesn't want to talk about this anymore, doesn't want to hear Anders' name again or be reminded of his existence. Perhaps he's alone in this. Perhaps it didn't happen like that at all, and he's been crazier than anyone initially thought.
Either way, his one defense is to do as he's told. So he just nods to Norrington with a quiet "yes, ser," hoping with all his might that this is the end of the discussion.

Something in Norrington's stance relaxed at Cade's words - but that meant the problem was precisely Anders and that? That was a danger all in its own. Could this have something do with what happened in Kirkwall? Neither Cade or Cullen had been very forthcoming about what happened there.

"The Maker asks too much of us, Cade. Every single day, every single moment. That you still go to mages ... says a lot about you, and your faith in Andraste's word that magic is meant to serve man. You will not go to Anders - well. Like I said, it is a choice. You don't have to go to him, ever again, and you will not be censured for it."

He lifted a finger, "But - you threatened to kill him. For the sake of one and all - you are going to need to apologize for that. Once that is done ... "

Now here, he gives Nathaniel a pointed look, "Then Anders will apologize for overreacting himself. We need speak no further about it, after that. Wait here, for my return."

He lifted his chin, and looked directly at Nathaniel, "Shall we?"

Cade is actually reassured by Norrington, beginning to calm down slightly; perhaps he is understood, at least somewhat, after all. Of course, he still takes issue with the notion that it isn't all right to want to kill Anders, but a superior officer is telling him to apologize, so that's what he must do.
He nods again, a bit sulkily, but with another "yes, ser" to indicate that he understands and isn't going to put up a fight.

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

Cade - Courtyard

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