Nuair a théann sé fán chroí

[mythalenaste]

WHO: Pel and James Norrington
WHAT: The culmination of a lot of growing up.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Kirkwall docks
NOTES: Will update with warnings as they come up.

Pel finds him by the waterside, looking broody and uncomfortable, as he has since they've arrived in Kirkwall. He might have been that way aboard the ship, though she was too seasick to remember for certain. She feels guilty for that.

She does remember he set up her hammock so she could only go in so many directions. She remembers he held her hand while she drifted off to sleep. She remembers that she didn't want him to leave.

Everything between them has been strange. They were together, and then they were not. Then they stopped speaking to each other, then they became friends. Better and better friends. He listens to her now. Really, truly listens. Maybe he will listen to this.

"James?" she says quietly, to get his attention.

Comments

[judgemewhole]

Oh, he has absolutely been this broody and uncomfortable since they got here. When he is in public, however, his expression has been familiarly stoic and brave. Here is the brave Templar Knight Commander, here to help. Shining beacon of an example, blah blah blah. In private, though, he can grimace that he can still hear the accusing snarls of the mages here.

To those he trusts, he can even speak about it. So when Pel calls out to him, he turns towards her. His face is a mask for a moment before he truly registers her, and then he lets out a quiet, "Ah, it's you."

Then his face works back to a scowl, as he looks back out to the water, "Are they still fighting over those bloody stupid statues? I rather want to find a piece and start beating people over the head with it."

[mythalenaste]

A soft laugh. She comes to his side and looks out at the water. The little waves breaking gently against the docks makes her think of that horrible hold, where he held her hand as she drifted to sleep.

How afraid she has been, yet there has always been someone to hold her hand.

"Melt them all down and sell it as scrap metal, at this point," she agrees. "And it isn't even so much that people have better ideas of their own, they just hate everyone else's. But it will stop. Once they're sufficiently assured of their rightness, they'll move on."

She glances up at him. "I've been meaning to talk to you about something."

[judgemewhole]

"Good. Can't believe it even got to that point." He huffed softly, shaking his head, "Not that I can say I'm innocent of thinking keeping one of those statues is an idiotic idea. Honestly. Historical value is in the eye of the beholder. Why anyone would want to - ah, nevermind."

He waved his hand, the crabbiness in his voice going down a notch. "Starting an argument about history with those Orlesians about is the last thing that I want...."

Her tone - oh Maker, she's also come to lecture him about his attitude. He sighs, drops his head a little further, before he stands up straight and looks at her with a faintly sardonic look. "All right, go on. I am ready for my lecture why I shouldn't be such a grumpy arse."

[mythalenaste]

Her eyes are wide when she looks up at him after that. She supposes she deserves that at least a little. But she has no lecture in mind. She's not much of a talker--she's more of a writer, and she briefly curses herself for not writing him a letter instead. She can't cover herself by babbling cutely; her words are precise and few, offering no leeway if she says the wrong thing.

And the truth is that she has missed James. She misses him even now, while they are standing together at the seaside. She has missed him for months, more than she missed him when she broke up with him. And if she says the wrong thing, she will have reason to miss him even more. So she doesn't speak.

She stands on her toes instead, hands taking hold of his coat, and pulls him down low enough to give him the barest breath of a kiss.

[judgemewhole]

James is waiting - Maker's Breath, it must be a lecture to blister the gates of the Black City - when she moves towards him. There is absolutely no proper words for what happens next. Her hands in his coat, her pulling him down with her arms. Her lips brushing against his.

He has no words for this at all. She managed to flabbergast him, so much that when her lips leave his, so unbelievably soft, how could he have forgotten how soft they were? - the only stupid thing he can manage to say is, ".... that was not what I was expecting."

[mythalenaste]

There's a faint lift to her eyebrows at that. Then she sinks back onto her heels and releases him.

"I'm never going to be a...little wife," she says, the last two words spoken almost like they're a foreign language. "I'm never going to pray to Andraste or the Maker, or be wooed with the right words or the right gifts. I'm never going to fit into a box. I won't act civilized because I'm not civilized. I won't give up my religion or my calling. I'm stubborn and independent to the point where it's a problem, a problem that won't just go away. I prefer to do things myself and that doesn't always work out. You would have to remind me I'm not alone anymore. You would have to do some things without me without feeling like I like you less because I just have to be by myself sometimes. But I would never make you go through grand overtures just to know how I feel about you. I would never make you work or perform just to know I care. You would never have to earn it or worry about losing it over something foolish. I would never make you something you're not. I would never make you choose between me and your faith or your calling."

Her gaze drops. She had the words after all, but she's made big speeches before being turned down. She steps back, feeling self-conscious, as though she has made a mistake and he thinks she's been completely inappropriate.

"I've...missed you. That's all."

[judgemewhole]

He stared at her through the entire ... declaration of love. Well, declaration of Pel, which was probably a lot more honest than a declaration of love than he had ever had in his entire life. She was honest, with him, an honesty neither one of them really had the first time. The first time - is there to be a second?

He's not sure, but not because ... well.

"I'm ... not a perfect person, either. If you want me, really want me, you're going to have to take all the bad with the good. I'm ... angry, sometimes, and sullen. I usually prefer to answer with sarcasm when faced with something idiotic. If you do something that is going to put yourself in danger, I will have an opinion about it. If I start to smother you - you are going to have to tell me to stop - and not just ... let it fall in a jumble around us."

He reached out, and took one of her hands in his. Both of their hands were rough. "I want you. I miss you. If you tell me I'm enough then I will believe you, finally." He folded his fingers through hers, "But if we do this this time, neither one of us can hold back for the sake of niceties. Agreed?"

[mythalenaste]

Pel squeezes his hand with a fleeting smile.

"One more thing: we take it slow. No M-word, no L-word, not yet. We're both so busy. And maybe that's good, because we both understand if we might go a day or two without seeing each other. There's a lot to be done when saving the world. But when we do meet, we'll always know where we stand, and what we mean to each other. All right?"

[judgemewhole]

He frowned for a long moment, arching an eyebrow, "The m-word -- well I agree to that. I understand how uncertain our lives are. However, the L-word is not something I plan on tossing out like it's candy, Pel. When I say it, I will mean it. It won't be today, or tomorrow. Call the smoky, unknown future. But when I do say it ... I won't be saying it because I want to make you stay. I will say it because it is to be said, right then and there."

He lets that sink in, before he adds quietly, "You are not, however, required to feel the L-word at the same time. I won't try to control your emotions, if you do not try to control mine."

Something occurs to him then, and he clears his throat. His ears turn red but he is able to easily meet her gaze, "Are we to be celibate?"

[mythalenaste]

I will say it because it is to be said, right then and there. That earns another fleeting smile, one she cannot at all help. Good. Those are good terms.

Her smile widens when he blushes. Adorable. "Not unless you want to be. Although right now it would be a magical feat indeed, and I don't feel very...attractive, and would feel even less so if you got me naked. And there would be a baby in between us. If we feel like we want to go there after Little Sina comes, and I've healed up..."

A faint wince. "You. Probably didn't need to hear that."

[judgemewhole]

His flush deepens, but he still meets her gaze with an intent one of his own. "No, I do not."

Then his lips quirk up at the corners. "There are many ways I wanted to meet your daughter, Pel. That ... is not one of them. However, in the future, when you ....feel the desire, please let me know."

See, politest way to say, Yes I will pull your clothes off in the heat of any moment, just give me the go-ahead, that he had on him at this time.

"Beyond that -- even when you are round, and cursing at me in Elvhen, and have thrown up on my boots? I still find you attractive. Perhaps not charming - but definitely attractive. You may now call me odd."

[mythalenaste]

...That gets a reaction from Pel most people never get to see. It's downright girlish. Her head ducks, she blushes, she grins like a maniac and brings her hand up to cover her smile because her underbite but she can't actually control her face right now because James gave her one of the most sincere compliments she has ever received. She takes a step forward to curl against his chest, easily huggable.

"I think you're doing fine," she says now that her dorky grin is out of view. "You're sincere, and that means so much more than flowery platitudes."

[judgemewhole]

Well now he's just going to take a moment to be shocked. He honestly didn't think Pel had girlish in her arsenal of female charms. Now, he knew he was in trouble once more.

Especially the easy way that his arms wrapped around her, and he rested his chin atop her head.

"I have learned the value of saying what I mean... and holding my tongue when I must." He muses, before he smirks faintly, "I could say I've gotten political but honestly my life is just less irritating when I don't try to throw myself at things all the time."