[OPEN] Kindness is a light in Kirkwall

[killedwithlove]

WHO: Cole; anyone who needs him
WHAT: Cole's been convinced to come to Kirkwall to help people so he is going to help the hell out of them.
WHEN: Covering the month of Bloomingtide
WHERE: Anywhere BUT the Gallows
NOTES: Will probably end up dealing with lots of the awful from the Gallows. PM this journal or jemisard for an individual starter

Cole never wanted to come here. He wanted to leave, to go elsewhere, but he was convinced that here he is most needed and thus, here he is.

Kirkwall scares him. Deeply scares him, so much that he barely goes into the city at first, but he slowly starts picking out the individuals among the screaming horror of the city, the people who he can help, who still be touched and brought back.

Comments

timing is late this month!

[in_death_sacrifice]

It's been a pretty awful time for Kain as of late. His whole exploration venture... hadn't ended too well. But then again, maybe trying to fight a dragon by himself was a bad idea. It's not as if he'd expected it, or planned on it happening. He'd just wanted to see as much as he could of the mountains.

So here he is now, stuck in the Gallows infirmary. The start of the month was pretty bad, he'd been barely conscious for most of it. But now he's finally making better progress in recovering. He's even getting up for small stretches of time, trying to rebuild enough strength to move around again. Injuries like this are so frustrating.

He's doing so now, walking slowly around the area near the infirmary, finally stopping to sit when he can't take it. He continues along this way until he makes it well past the Gallows and into Kirkwall proper, stopping often, walking a ways, repeating the process continually. Ugh. There's also a lot on his mind, questions and unfinished plans regarding his feelings for Inessa... and his fears about the possible dark future. He's pretty much radiating pain in every possible way, mental and physical.

[killedwithlove]

Cole is drawn slowly to Kain, the pain something more than he can actually help, but the conflict inside of him- that is something he can help with. He can listen.

And so, he makes his way to Kain, sitting next to him and then remembering to be visible.

"The future is what we make of it. There's no use in obsessing on it."

[in_death_sacrifice]

There certainly is a lot going through his mind, so much that he's walked much farther this time than he's been doing. He'd just been so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed how far from the Gallows he'd made it. Whoops. Well. There's not much to be done for that now.

When Cole suddenly appears, Kain does a double take, shocked at first. But then... hadn't it been weird the last time they'd spoken? He's still not sure what to make of him. It's not a bad thing, at all, it's just... strange.

"You..." That's right, he can tell what he's thinking somehow, can't he? "How do you do that?" He sighs, looking down. "I am obsessing, aren't I?"

[killedwithlove]

Cole feels the flickers of emotion and thoughts and settles on the clearest one. "Compassion has to understand. Not agree, I don't always agree, but I understand. I can care better because I understand."

He's not sure that will make sense to Kain.

"Yes. And it's causing you pain. But if you focus on now, on how to make things better in this moment, you're changing that darkness by spreading a light. Your kindness can spark hope in someone else. And the lighter people's hearts are, the less likely they are to fall."

[in_death_sacrifice]

It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but then Kain has noticed that about Cole. One moment, he might say something which Kain really needed to hear, something which strikes him deeper than he'd have thought possible coming from someone he doesn't know too well. The next moment, he's totally lost him again.

"I don't have much experience with light or kindness... or hope, for that matter." Well, in himself anyway. He's always tried to aspire toward those things, be he feels like he's failed. A lot. "But maybe there's something to what you're saying. When I... went through my worst experience, I was also at the darkest point I'd ever been. I feel as if I've been trying to outrun that darkness ever since, to stay ahead of it... I have to keep running, don't I?"

[killedwithlove]

"Those of us who have lived in the dark the longest cherish the light we find the most."

Cole understands that. The small kindness his mother had spared him, the selfless dedication of Rhys; it had taught him how to find goodness. And how to nurture it.

"You can't outrun the dark." Cole reaches into a pocket and holds out his clasped hands to Kain. "You can only light it."

It's a candle. It's been used, and there's spilled wax and scratches.

"And even a tiny bit of light vanquishes it."

[in_death_sacrifice]

Kain looks thoughtfully at Cole, turning those words over and over in his mind. The darkness that he's faced has been all-consuming at times, or so it had seemed. Even in his past. Being used by a blood mage and turned on his friends, the whole ordeal had dramatically changed him. His future seems just as grim, being taken by the red lyrium's madness.

Glancing at the candle, Kain ponders this a little. "Even a tiny bit of light..." He repeats this in a contemplative tone, thinking about the comparison. "What happens if something else puts out that light? If the candle reaches its end and all the wax is melted... what then? Is there a chance to find another light?"

[killedwithlove]

"Then you fan the light in another person. Light can be shared. And people don't run out light, even if they think they have. They just need their light rekindled. It never runs out, Kain. However far you fall, however dark it seems, however hopeless, or lost, there is light while there is life. You have life and light left in you. And if you let what you experienced drive you to your grave, then it's just as bad as the lyrium taking you. The red lyrium won, either way."

Cole crouches down, so his hat hides his face. He rests his hand on the ground and a tiny bug crawls up onto his finger. "Cole died. His light fled and his life left. But his light was enough to call me to him, even in those last moments." He stands up, head bowed to look at the insect exploring his dirty fingers.

"Shadows fall, and hope has fled. Steel your heart; the dawn will come." His voice is soft, unused to singing despite the lyrical way he speaks. But it's still clear and he's able to carry the tune.

[in_death_sacrifice]

"I can't let the lyrium win... I just... can't." But how to fight an enemy that can't be fought in a conventional way? He can't stand it, can't take this enemy that's unbeatable. Sure, he can fight those possessed by it and end their suffering, but... the lyrium itself... He hates feeling so powerless.

He watches the younger man, curiously. "But aren't you...? Never mind." It's surely just some odd quirk of his speaking, when he speaks of dying. Kain doesn't know a whole lot about Cole, other than sometimes he says extremely weird and confusing things. But there's a comfort to him and his presence despite all of that.

"The dawn will come." The song had inspired a great deal of hope in the Inquisition at a time when it was most needed, if all the stories are right about. He doesn't know, he wasn't there at the time. But he hopes for the same to happen now.

[killedwithlove]

"Alive? No. Sort of. I could be banished, but I don't think that's dying."

He rocks back and forth a bit, like he's comforting something that he isn't holding.

"You don't have to defeat things with combat. You can't defeat starvation with a sword, but you can with sharing your meal."

[in_death_sacrifice]

"Sort of. Sort of? Huh." He repeats that in a vague way, thinking it over. Those words certainly tell him a lot, and maybe not enough, he's not sure. Kain looks Cole over curiously, more fascinated than scared. Should he be more unsettled by the idea? Maybe if he were a mage. "Yet you're here... you seem... substantial enough."

He sighs, looking down and then nodding. "You're right, though. I have a tendency to face my battles in that way, as if they were battles in truth... but... that's not always the case. I just... I find physical combat easier to deal with. I always have. A mental or emotional battle... or otherwise... that's always been difficult for me."

[killedwithlove]

"Yes. I'm here. I'm manifested, not an abomination."

He reaches out to softly touch one of Kain's hands with a fingertip. His nails are dark with dirt, stark against his pale skin. "The hardest fight is one where you must endure and resist without retaliating. Don't fight with your sword. Not this. Fight it by reaching to others, so if you are hit, they will help you stay standing."

[in_death_sacrifice]

Kain glances down. It's a real hand, made of solid flesh, not that of a spirit or other manifestation. So he's real. Despite... not being so. He finds himself more fascinated than scared, though. After all, Cole has already proven himself to be a comforting presence, a calming one.

"You're very much real. I can see that." He has so many questions, he has to wonder why he chose this... or if he chose at all. But his mind is on what he's talking about for now. "The fight without a sword really is the hardest of all... I've never faced anything so difficult before. But... I need to try. I want to stay standing, as you say. Does it get any easier, reaching out to others? I've never been... very good at that."