"And mabari drool gets everywhere." He doesn't really have the right to make jokes, considering how he's at fault for all of these injuries, but he can explain them away as helping the injured people cope.

Encouraging Kirk's body to restore the blood he's lost comes next, once things are closed back up. "And my cat plays fetch. You simply don't know how to train a cat right, clearly. It's a respect thing. You have to treat them right, something I can help you learn later. It's a skill that would come in useful when you're living with two cats. Now do me a favor and take a slow, deep breath in and out and let's see how that goes."