[ Fear is easily masked by anger. The whole of that night- the entirety of the brawl? She'd been terrified of it becoming something more than a scuffle. It takes so little from either side for it all to go wrong, she's seen that. What composure and distance she's held thusfar cracks along with her voice, it's but a rough, wavering thing now. ]

I did not. I could not. More than frozen by fear- there are rules I must obey to keep my partnership with my Spirit. I must not use magic to do harm. Demons, Darkspawn, the undead- these I may strike down.

But a Templar? I could not. I didn't have the breath to cast- I wanted to. Andraste preserve me, but I wanted to.

[ That much she's never admitted before. Wanting to strike back. To not have been so afraid as to be locked within herself. To be bound by a contract that saved too few lives that day. What wine is left in her mug she drains. To sooth or to fortify- it matters little. All that is left are the dregs and she stares down into it rather than look up to Dorian. It's easier. ]

Roul, my eldest student. He defended me with lightening. Killed the Templar.

[ It would be easier for her to bear if she'd killed him herself. Stunned him, froze him, something. Leaving that to the hands of someone she was supposed to protect? It is not unthinkable so much as she finds it disgraceful. ]

Knowing that we would not be spared for anything- I held to my oath. I did not harm any other Templar on our way out of the Spire. But I locked them in place as we passed, much as you saw that night. Other mages struck them down. Apparently even spirits believe in loopholes if given cause, though they took no prompting or excuses from me to be compelled to assist.

I saw templars and mages behave monstrously that day, Dorian. It will not take much for it to happen again here.