[OPEN] Running with my roots pulled up

[amygdalae]

WHO: Bruce Banner and whoever else
WHAT: Rumors abound. Bruce is good at pretending he can't hear anything. A dracolisk makes everyone's life hell.
WHEN: Across Justinian
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Belated open log thing for the remainder of June; prompts and such are under the cut. Starting in brackets but feel free to switch to prose and I will follow. If you want specific prompts/starters, let me know @ knightblazer or PM this journal!

one. trouble on four hooves. (stables)

[It's not exactly the first time the horsemaster is on his case and it probably won't be the last as well, if the current situation is to go by it.

Horsemaster Dennet wasn't exactly thrilled with the dracolisk that had decided to trail all the way back here with him (muttering along the lines of 'as if one of them wasn't enough'), but the one that Bruce... was stuck with had a tendency for more collateral damage. Nothing major, at least, but after breaking three gates and four fences in its apparent nightly ritual of getting out of the stables there were some lines that needed to be drawn. Thus, this current situation.

The hammer in his hand pounds loudly against the nails as Bruce does his best fixing up the damage the dracolisk had caused in the last few nights. The sleeves of his threadbare shirts are rolled up, for even with the chill here pounding away like this still made him sweat quite a bit, especially as he continued to toil away the hours.

Beside him the dracolisk chewed delicately on some hay, clearly much calmer and less prone to violence now that its human was around.]

two. not quite back to business (healing tents, courtyard)

[It was impossible to ignore the rumors, even if they weren't that hotly circulated, for better or for worse. But still the damage had been done and it would be a lie if he said that things were the same as before.

Nothing was the same as it used to be. After the fallout with Adelaide things didn't really quite look up. Patients who once came to him for help now avoided his gaze entirely and went to others, and the new ones who came in now looked at him with wariness, with all the suspicion that frustrated Bruce more than anything else. This was one of the reasons why he hid his magic away, why he stuck to herbs and what he could do with nothing but his head and his own two hands. He was here to help and he didn't need his magic to do it. It wasn't worth any of this.

(But of course, he deserved it. He knows that. He deserves every bit of this.)

Still, regardless of everything, he came here to do a job and despite all that had happened, there were always going to be people who needed help. So Bruce does the best he can, going around the courtyard to treat whoever was willing to accept his help and aiding anybody who came to his tent while he was in there.]

three. midnight mulling (battlements)

[The battlements had, in a way, become something of a sanctuary to him now. When the night gets this dark and most of Skyhold is asleep, the biting chill of the cold and the silence of the night comforts him well.

On most other nights he'd have the excuse of potion brewing to be up here but tonight that desire isn't there. He sits on the floor, back against one of the walls as he glances out to the mountains that surround them, the sky above that twinkle with countless stars. When everything feels so vast and overwhelming its easy enough to lose himself into the sight, to let them take him away from the chaos of his mind and his soul. To find that momentary peace within himself again, when every part of him rages for something else otherwise.]

wildcard.

[Feel free to throw in your own prompt or PM/contact me to plot out stuff!]

Comments

[stabsbooks]

That is why the Rite of Tranquility is used.

[ She says it quietly, not as any sort of suggestion or a proposed solution, but merely as a fact. It is a fact that mages are sometimes unable, or unwilling, to control their power. And in this ideal world that they can only strive for, those would be the only circumstances under which the Rite would ever be used.

She tilts her head at him, curious now. He can clearly control his magic, and is willing to do so - otherwise he would not have been so successful at refraining from using it. He would not have wanted to refrain. ]

Were you trained in a Circle?

THEDAS INFERNO

[fleurdesel]

[ She hadn't been able to pay as close attention to his spells in the fade as she might have liked- avoiding death had taken priority for so many reasons- But she would have noticed a lack of skill, a lack of power. This is not how she and her students cast but it is very much Circle training. The question is from where?

Until she sees more she won't be able to pick that out and thus, without a word, she snapped a trio of targets into being at fifteen yards. HOw well did he handle groups when he wasn't fighting for his life? ]

[madame_de_fer]

Exceptionally. Aside from a certain problem that seems to have arisen. I've had a trusted friend lie to me.

[Know what's not helping Bruce in the least? Kallian hid her magic too. That's twice over betrayal. At this point, she's referencing them both. She just wants to see if his guilty conscious will spawn a confession and/or an apology, or if there's any guilt whatsoever. Either way, the truth is out now. Further falsehood is pointless.]

What I fail to understand is how they thought they wouldn't be discovered. I also fail to accept what is the stereotypical excuse for why because it's ridiculous.

[Vivienne doesn't much care for hiding magic when it's a gift from the Maker to be used, not like an embarrassing birthmark to be tastefully concealed with proper attire.]

[fightorfright]

Well, great! ( She straightens up and does her best to smile, but the grimace that forms on her face indicates that she is unaccustomed to the gesture. )

What's the best way I can do that? Help, I mean.

[tactical_alert]

It can't stay if it's going to be destructive and disruptive, and if it's going to find ways of sneaking back in--to continue to be destructive and disruptive--then no, I don't suppose it's too far. It'll be a change of meat for the cooks, and some different hide to work into leathers, and so on.

Although we could see if there's anyone who wishes to tame it to ride it first. Strange that it seems so docile around people. Could make a fine, unusual mount if it could stay in a stable.

[amygdalae]

I'm sure something will be figured out.

[They have to, rather. There's no way they can just ignore all the people who come here for protection, who seek shelter from the chaos that has taken over most of Thedas - if not all. Innocents caught in the crossfire, children and families who led nothing but simply lives until... all of this. People who need help and who Bruce can't just turn away from, despite everything.

Another brief pause at the next question. Bruce folds his arms over his knees, tucking them close to his chest. He never really likes talking about... any of this, really. There's no pride or joy in being a mage - only pain and shame and horrors that would never end. He himself is a living example of it.]

I lived in a Circle before. [And it was good, honestly. He had a good life, could do good things, could just be--good. But of course he destroyed it with his own two hands for wanting to be more, for touching into things no human should touch and now he pays the price every day.] But after the Blight, and Kirkwall... things weren't the same as they used to be.

[And in regards to Kieran...]

And I don't worry about your child. He seems like a very good sort. [Pause.] And he has a good mother, too.

[amygdalae]

[It's hard to imagine how life is on a land like that - even Seheron didn't have it. But Seheron was a different place entirely, so its not like its a good basis of comparison in the first place. He imagines it something closer to Antiva, except maybe surrounded with more water? Who knows.

When she moves towards him Bruce pauses in his hammering to glance over to her, frowning a little at some of the words that she uses. A little ball could... cause that much damage? What? Had it been enchanted or something?

And also--]

Being intoxicated isn't a good idea when you have to treat yourself. [He murmurs, more of a remark than anything else before mulling over the rest of her words.] What's this about a ball?

[amygdalae]

[Bruce can't help but let out a small sound of amusement at the mention of Tranquility. Little does Cassandra know. Little does anybody know, really, but its not something he'll ever talk about. There are a lot of things he'll never talk about, really, but even he knows better than to talk of Tranquility to others, much less a Seeker.

If only it were possible. How much easier would that be.

At the question, he gives a nod - no use hiding that much, and its better than others thinking of whatever crazy alternatives they might have given him (even if so many truths about him are very out there).] Learned whatever they were willing to teach. Back then I thought as long as I had the knowledge, magic wouldn't be as terrifying as others made it out to be.

[amygdalae]

[Oh. He didn't think that... she meant now. It wasn't exactly the best time, but well... he wasn't going to just turn her away now either. It wouldn't be right.]

Well, you can work with your strengths. What are you best at?

[amygdalae]

[Anders doesn't understand. As much as perhaps Bruce can't understand Anders in turn either, in some ways. Anders may have Justice and his problems with it but it will never be anything like the problems that he faces everyday. They may in the same boat but they are also worlds apart at the same time.]

I have my reasons for the life I choose. [Depending on magic, relying on it - those are the things that makes mages what they are and a mage is what Bruce doesn't want to be, despite nature telling him to. He doesn't want to be what nature dictates, refuses to be as such, and he'll do anything to go against it. A proof to himself that he can be more than what others believe him to be.] I'm not going to compromise my morals.

[amygdalae]

Dracolisk meat has never been much of a delicacy, I hear.

[Then again there are Orlesians and their very fancy... choice of food, so who knows. Anything is possible now these days.

Apparently done chewing its hay, said dracolisk trots over to where Bruce is and proceeds to plant its snort into his hair - just as its done so many times already at this point, for Bruce. It's impossible to stifle down the sigh that he lets out this time.]

It's only been docile when I'm around. Otherwise it tends to cause a ruckus.

SET FIRE TO THE RAIN... OR SOMETHING

[amygdalae]

[The answer: quick and precise crippling.

Bruce only pauses for a moment before he snaps into action again; once more the staff tip flares a bright red as he casts another fire spell. He waves his hand again and a ball of fire appears from his palm that instantly flies towards the pillars. In the middle of its path however it splits up, turning into three smaller, faster fireballs that zoom in the last bit of distance and strike at precise locations on each pillar, making each of them splinter apart with the force and heat of the strike.

Quick, precise, and practical, with no excessive usage and strict control. That is how Bruce casts his spells and it shows very quickly.]

[amygdalae]

[While he doesn't wince, Bruce still feels an urge to do that nonetheless. He never went so far as to consider him and the Iron Lady 'friends' of any sort - its clear that even she feels betrayed for the lie he had been telling. Adelaide felt as such too, though her response will probably be a lot kinder than what The Iron Lady has.]

I didn't mean to betray your trust, or anybody else's for that matter. [He's not sorry for hiding it, but he is sorry that he hurt their feelings because of it.] I had my reasons for not speaking of it - or showing it. I hope you'll understand.

[fightorfright]

Well, healing spells, mainly. Not sure I'm good for much else, unless you've got some calves that are due for delivery.

[amygdalae]

Healing spells is just fine. There are always a lot of people who could use a good healing spell or two.

[And Bruce knows he could help in that, but well. It's kind of Complicated even with recent events.]

[justice_is_blond]

Which include assaulting someone, and not stepping up to help at the level you could.

[Bruce's morals are worse than Justice's, in Anders' opinion. They're callous and will only hurt.]

How could I possibly expect you to deviate from those? You're right. You've... morals, I should let you get on with that.

[unbrokenoath]

[ She snorts at that, then pauses, thinking for a few moments. She seems to come to a decision and turns to face Bruce, palms pressed together. Her expression isn't quite somber, but inquiring. ]

Okay, okay, I got to know. Is this obtuseness on purpose, or not? Because if you want me to cut this out, just say something. I'll back down, if that's what you want. Or if you just like playing this game with me, I can keep doing it, I just want to know you're actually on board.

[ She's fine with playing around, but she wants to make sure that he is too, and it's not just that he doesn't want to cross the amazon warden who's nearly half a foot taller than him and lugs around a giant sword. ]

If you're just playing hard to get, though, I'm sure I can bust out some real suave moves. Blow any of the Antivans around here right outta the water. They'll stand there and gape and be like 'Well shit, I guess Fereldans really are the superior seduction masters'.

[ She says that bit with a wry smirk. ]

so many more rivalry points

[amygdalae]

[He doesn't expect Anders to understand. How could he, with what he had done? And it is perhaps callous to think that but honestly its not like Anders has many points on his end, just as it is likewise. Bruce isn't here to make friends in the end - he came here to do a job.]

Maybe you should. [There's no point trying to argue otherwise. Bruce has his own reasons and Anders will never need to know. Bruce doesn't need to explain himself.]

[amygdalae]

[Well that was... probably the last thing he had expected to be confronted with, especially considering the situation.

The surprise shows through by his blinking, a baffled expression on his face as he stares at the Warden for several moments. It takes those said moments for him to find his voice and formulate some sort of response.]

I... well. [Another pause.] I'm--flattered, I suppose, if that's the term to use, but I'm just not that kind of... person.

[There's a bit of a helpless shrug at the last part. With the life he's lived thus far Bruce hasn't had many occasions to talk about things like these, so its quite clear how lost in the dark he seems to be. It's all very left field for him, to put it mildly.]

[arcaneadvisor]

[It was strange to watch a person make themselves small, whether that was their intent or not. Magic has never been something to be ashamed of.]

I saw Kinloch Hold. [Ten years later and still her first experience - only experience really - of a Circle still sticks with her. Truly, a trying time but the rot had set in before the Blight there, the very existence of the Circles in her eyes.] Everyone believes that mages outwith Circles run rampant, consorting with demons at will. Most believed us to be maleficars to be put to the flame, now after a taste of true freedom? [Well, she cannot imagine what the people must be saying.] Yet there were no abominations when my mother taught me magic as a girl, no temptations, nothing that made me frightened nor angry, nor desiring an escape. Kirkwall did always have such a long and bloody history however. You clearly took your freedom at some point.

[It's why she will fight tooth and nail for her son.]

I have fought to keep my reptutation from touching him. [For once she sounds tired when she admits that because it is tiring. That a boy cannot be a boy, that the mother would be used against him, and him against her. And once again she isn't quite sure what to say regarding her motherhood, the surprised smile show.] I--I thank you. Tis not easy, as any mother would say.

[For different reasons than her own.]

[foxsays]

[Snow is strange to her. Mountains she has to climb are strange when they have some sea cliffs but they're for sea birds and everyone has the good sense to leave them be.

If her mother were here, she might attempt a sheepish grin for all of five seconds but her mother is not so she doesn't even try, still managing to keep the cheeky grin instead.]

And if you're in so much pain you see stars? Or that you'd probably jump off the bed and kick the doctor if you had one anyway. [If they'd been by the healing tents she'd offer to show him the scars but seeing as they are where they are, she gives a little shrug, twisting her hair over her shoulder as she continues.] We call it a shot when it comes out of a pistol, though some of our other weapons called muskets fire things called musket balls, they're round balls of lead and they travel very very fast. You aim like so-- [Standing, she nudges Lux and he darts ahead of her, poised and ready as she holds out two fingers, making a noise as close to a little explosion as she can and her fox flops to play dead before he runs back over.] And well you can try to dodge, or to seek cover. But like I said they move very fast and in they go and they go very deep. It isn't like an arrow that has so much sticking out of you, they're tiny compared to that but lead can make you sick so you need to get them out.

[Her face pales a little, remembering a couple of not so pleasant experiences.]

[stabsbooks]

[ She frowns in slight disapproval at his reaction - Tranquility is hardly a laughing matter - but doesn't comment. There must be some reason for it, and she doubts it is a humorous one. Nor one he would willingly share.

Instead, she considers his question thoughtfully, tilting her head in inquiry and prompting him as gently as possible. ]

It did not work?

[ There's a story here, one she's not entirely certain she's earned. After all, they've only met once before. She barely knows him.

But from what she does know of him, he seems to be something of a loner even at the best of times. Perhaps telling someone - anyone - is just what he needs. ]

[fightorfright]

That's true. What do people usually need help with around these parts?

[tactical_alert]

[He watches this, the fondness with which the mount snuffles into Bruce's hair.]

...Yours in all but name, is that so?

[unbrokenoath]

[ That's adorable. Bruce you're adorable. ]

Not that kind of person as in...you don't flirt, you don't like flirting, or you don't mind either but you're not good at playing around, or...?

[ She makes a 'keep talking' motion with her hand. ]

Like, do you want me to stop altogether, or do you want me to ask you out to dinner, or what. I mean. Not that I can make dinner. But I can find dinner. Tell someone we need that pot roast to stop the Blight, or something.

[ Pause. ]

That's a joke.