faderift | [OPEN] Running with my roots pulled up

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[OPEN] Running with my roots pulled up

WHO: Bruce ~~Banner~~ and whoever else
WHAT: Rumors abound. Bruce is good at pretending he can't hear anything. A dracolisk makes everyone's life hell.
WHEN: Across Justinian
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Belated open log thing for the remainder of June; prompts and such are under the cut. Starting in brackets but feel free to switch to prose and I will follow. If you want specific prompts/starters, let me know @

knightblazer or PM this journal!

one. trouble on four hooves. (stables)

[It's not exactly the first time the horsemaster is on his case and it probably won't be the last as well, if the current situation is to go by it.

Horsemaster Dennet wasn't exactly thrilled with the dracolisk that had decided to trail all the way back here with him (muttering along the lines of 'as if one of them wasn't enough'), but the one that Bruce... was stuck with had a tendency for more collateral damage. Nothing major, at least, but after breaking three gates and four fences in its apparent nightly ritual of getting out of the stables there were some lines that needed to be drawn. Thus, this current situation.

The hammer in his hand pounds loudly against the nails as Bruce does his best fixing up the damage the dracolisk had caused in the last few nights. The sleeves of his threadbare shirts are rolled up, for even with the chill here pounding away like this still made him sweat quite a bit, especially as he continued to toil away the hours.

Beside him the dracolisk chewed delicately on some hay, clearly much calmer and less prone to violence now that its human was around.]

two. not quite back to business (healing tents, courtyard)

[It was impossible to ignore the rumors, even if they weren't that hotly circulated, for better or for worse. But still the damage had been done and it would be a lie if he said that things were the same as before.

Nothing was the same as it used to be. After the fallout with Adelaide things didn't really quite look up. Patients who once came to him for help now avoided his gaze entirely and went to others, and the new ones who came in now looked at him with wariness, with all the suspicion that frustrated Bruce more than anything else. This was one of the reasons why he hid his magic away, why he stuck to herbs and what he could do with nothing but his head and his own two hands. He was here to help and he didn't need his magic to do it. It wasn't worth any of this.

(But of course, he deserved it. He knows that. He deserves every bit of this.)

Still, regardless of everything, he came here to do a job and despite all that had happened, there were always going to be people who needed help. So Bruce does the best he can, going around the courtyard to treat whoever was willing to accept his help and aiding anybody who came to his tent while he was in there.]

three. midnight mulling (battlements)

[The battlements had, in a way, become something of a sanctuary to him now. When the night gets this dark and most of Skyhold is asleep, the biting chill of the cold and the silence of the night comforts him well.

On most other nights he'd have the excuse of potion brewing to be up here but tonight that desire isn't there. He sits on the floor, back against one of the walls as he glances out to the mountains that surround them, the sky above that twinkle with countless stars. When everything feels so vast and overwhelming its easy enough to lose himself into the sight, to let them take him away from the chaos of his mind and his soul. To find that momentary peace within himself again, when every part of him rages for something else otherwise.]

wildcard.

[Feel free to throw in your own prompt or PM/contact me to plot out stuff!]

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I love Korrin's magic, so long as she never sets my hair on fire or I will find a way to chip part of one horn off. And it's useful for so many things - you can freeze food! I spoke to Adelaide about it, about if it was possible to freeze food so things could be brought to Skyhold so they would keep for longer and I don't know why people aren't doing that, and for the work being done in the valley, or in battle but healing is...it's different. [Hopefully her excitement about the ability to freeze food isn't alarming but finding out about the possibility of shrimp and fish being kept fresh to survive the journey to Skyhold was kind of a revelation when a girl craves her favourite dishes and more than the usual boring Fereldan swill she's forced to endure.] Healing is putting magic in where it wasn't before? Isn't it? Sort of? I don't know I will read, pester Dama de Oro about it I believe.

[Moment of silence for Adelaide enduring this girl and her nonsense.]

You do realise that by saying this we have shot everyone in the foot. Even the mysterious spiky horse, in all his mysterious spiky horse feet. [But at least she can still manage a smile since that luck wasn't ever going to hold, they're going to have to deal with Corypheus very personally sooner rather than later.]

[ She blinks a little at him, tilting her head to the side. Then after a few moments, she decided that this was a good thing--and honestly, if anyone needed a break and to get treated to a dinner, it was Bruce. It was just a dinner, anyway.

She's not exactly good at wining and dining people, but it can't be that hard, right???

So she smiles, and reaches over to give Bruce a friendly thump on the back. ]

Excellent! I'll get all the food and stuff together, you've got enough to worry about.

[ She pauses for a moment, then decides to toss in, just in case: ]

...By the way? If anyone bothers you about the whole mage business--If you ever feel threatened or anything like that? Just come find me, alright? I won't let anyone give you shit. And if you want to, you can always come stay in the Warden camp. We allow people who aren't Wardens there, and a couple people who like to keep a low profile stay there. And also Anders, like, repels Templars, so they aren't an issue.

We are all "just one person," Bruce.

[ She can imagine his protests already, and waves them off ahead of time with a dismissive shake of her head. ]

I give you no more credit than you have earned. It is only when we work together that we ever manage to accomplish anything lasting at all.

[ And even that is never a guarantee. ]

[ There's a narrowed glance thrown in his direction before the pattern continues. More targets out of ice that snap into being - a few moving targets that drift and float, controlled with a steady gesture of Adelaide's hand.

Similar spells, yes. Techniques? These are new. Where did he learn this? ]

And yet the elves themselves eventually fell. [Bruce doesn't mean anything by that, but it is a fact - none of them would be here today if the elves were still as powerful as they used to be in the past. Now what is left of them can only be seen by the Dalish, or the city elves that try so hard to scrape by each day.

But he isn't here to start an argument. Bruce sighs quietly and casts his gaze down to his hands, his left rubbing his right wrist, thumb unconsciously tracing the ghost of an old scar hidden beneath the long sleeves of his loose shirts. He doesn't like what he is, its true, and its also true that he could do what Morrigan is hinting, but--

Well. He never had much of a choice in the matter anyway.]

I'm not here to discuss what's right and what's wrong. [Because, in the end, is there even a right and a wrong in this matter? Perhaps there is, but it doesn't apply to him any more - people like him don't deserve that kind of fair judgement. He's lost his right a long time ago.] I made my decision to live out my life the way I choose, not the way I was determined to be. This is the path I choose for myself.

[Even as he says that though he can feel it echoing hollowly in his ears. This was never a life he chose, for he was forced into it. For it is the only way for him to survive in this place. Every other alternative was worse.]

Healing magic is... [Bruce trails off for a moment, lost in thought. The knowledge of it is right at his fingertips, of course - he may not use his magic, but that doesn't mean he's rusty or out of practice. He's dedicated a good chunk of his life learning about healing magic; that kind of knowledge doesn't just go away.

He brings up the hammer and shifts, eyeing the nail that's halfway into position and starts to hammer it down properly.] The human body naturally heals by itself, with enough given time. Healing magic usually just... encourages the process to quicken, and the magic itself gives the hastened healing the energy it needs to accomplish this.

[Pause as Bruce hammers one more time and pulls away from the fence he's working on.]

At least, that's the best estimate I can come up with. I could be entirely wrong, of course.

[Bruce, indeed, does open his mouth to try and protest, but is stopped before he is able by Cassandra already waving them off. With nothing else to say for the moment all he can do is to fall back quiet, his hands rubbing together in an unconscious gesture.]

I suppose it would be hypocritical of me to go against something I had voiced out not too long ago. [A small, wry smile crosses his face as he says that, though it quickly turns into something a bit more grateful.] ...thank you for understanding, Seeker Pentaghast. Most others have not been--as open, but I don't blame them either.

[He had fooled them for--what, nearly a year? He had been around since Haven, after all.]

[If Adelaide asks Bruce might tell, but right now he's too busy casting spells to do that. This time he sends a volley of small but precise fireballs flaring from the tip of the borrowed staff after another wave of his hand; they spread out quickly and hone onto each individual target. This time however not all of them break in one hit, since the projectiles are that small, but that gets rectified when another one or two more join in soon enough.

Once all of them are down Bruce lowers his hand, taking in slow deep breaths as the bright red flare coming from the lyrium tip slowly fades away. Bruce glances over to Adelaide with an almost entirely blank expression.]

I think that should be enough for now.

[They all must have seen enough.]

[Bruce maybe stumbles a bit in surprise from Kaisa thumping his back, and said surprise lingers at the words that she says next. The gesture was, well, appreciated, although he really didn't need it - and the last thing he wanted was to get anywhere near Anders. It'd just cause more of a headache and more unnecessary arguments he'd rather avoid.]

I'll be alright, Ser Kaisa. [He starts once the surprise wears off.] It's not the first time I've gone though it. I can handle myself. But I appreciate the thought.

[Malcolm moves down the line of mounts and stops at one of the stables, reaching out a hand and making a soft noise. A horse's nose appears eventually to snuffle and nuzzle.] You should figure out what to do with it soon before someone else does. Or before you're stuck fixing boarding for the rest of your time here. If someone else can be trained to ride it, or it trained to tolerate others, then it might be allowed to stay.

That will suffice, yes.

[ She gestures to the students who, now, step forward and begin asking questions. The first one being 'why did you hide-' which is cut off with a stern look from Adelaide. ]

Relevant questions about his casting technique and spell choice. Personal questions are not why I brought him here.

[ She might be angry- furious even. She might not agree with his choice- but a lesson is a lesson and he is here to help teach. Not be hounded by students. ]

I have a friend at home, Rajai, who rides horses in her own country, and she has a saying about encouragement: the carrot or the stick. I don't suppose you have an estimate on what sort of encouragement healing magic provides to the body? I suppose a little wound wouldn't take much but I can imagine you can heal grievous wounds. The sort of thing a doctor might shake their head at. [There's still a smile on her face since well, it's better to keep it to the lighter side of things when he seems such a sad and serious man, when she wants to do her most daring leaps around him just to see if one day she'll make him laugh the way the patients laugh when she backflips off something and lands on one leg, dropping into a bow just so.]

You don't seem the type to be entirely wrong. Everyone can be wrong, shades here and there, wandering down alleys here and there, looking at it backwards and upside down but I don't think entirely, you're considerate and considering, that makes it very hard to be wrong about the entirety of a thing.

I would caution you to be careful whom you say that to, if you value having your hearing intact, Beleth Ashara is the last one to bring up elven history around. [A little levity can be allowed, though there's a particular sigh from Morrigan since her few encounters with the young woman have grated on her. But she is careful now to keep certain opinions very much to herself, instead watching him.

How many years did she do this as a girl? Ever on the outskirts looking in on others, better still as a bird, as a cat, as a dog or sometimes more daringly as a wolf from some hidden spot.

Old habits, she gives herself a shake, drawing the hood of her robe up when the chill prickles the back of her neck.]

I am hardly the one to judge either way. [It's almost an apology. Almost.] Sometimes change is what sets a person free, no matter if they fight it with every fibre of their being. But I do know something, about choosing a path of mine own and not the one another would have seen fit for me, tis not quite so easy as some think. There are always pieces left behind.

[There will always be a little girl staring down at her tear-stained face in a shattered golden mirror as the mud of the Korcari Wilds swallowed it when her mother cast it down in anger.]

[Despite everything, Bruce flinches visibly at the question when it comes, before Adelaide cuts the student off. It's not as if its a big flinch, but its noticeable enough if people had been looking at him. And a good number of them probably were.

Too late to take anything back, though. He'd just have to deal with it. (Just as he had been, with everything else.)

He can't help but be a little bit tense as the students start to question him, and he gives whatever answers that he can provide: he uses fire spells because its the easiest for him to cast; yes, he was from the Circles before they fell, but had to adapt while he had been travelling around Thedas and no, he didn't learn anything from the Dalish - as open as some of the elves were learning their magic was another thing entirely.

He answers those questions and anything else that didn't talk about his personal life and choices until most of them are (hopefully) satisfied (for now). He knows there'll be more in the future, especially after this... but he'll deal with that later. Somehow.]

[A sharp sigh comes from Bruce at that. He knows that very well, and it would be a lie if he said that parts of him weren't currently in internal conflict on what to do. The decision should be obvious, but all the same...]

I'll think of something eventually.

[What that 'something', is, though, would be up for debate.]

[Bruce pauses a little at the question, mulling it over, finding the best words to describe it. All the jargon about magic tends to fly over the heads of anybody who doesn't use magic, after all.]

Whatever it is the body has that allows natural healing to happen in the first place. [A small shrug comes after this, though.] It would be nice if I had a better answer to that, but that's really the best I can think of.

[But with that said, her words are appreciated, and Bruce manages a smile.] In the end, I just do my best in whatever capacity I'm allowed to help. I just hope it helps in some fashion.

[There's a small, quiet laugh from Bruce - though its more dry than amused, and Bruce gives a small nod of agreement and understanding.]

I know better than to talk to elves about elves. [Its not like he knows a lot about them, only the basics and some things he heard in his years across Thedas. But enough to know that elves were a very sore subject for--well, elves. Which was funny in a sad, morbid way.

He listens to the rest of Morrigan's words, hearing what she says the things she doesn't say that he can pick up. There's not much he knows of her beyond her involvement with the Hero of Ferelden during the Fifth Blight ten years back, but as he's come to realize very quickly, her and everyone else in there were more than just figures of some epic story. They were people, too, with their own pasts and their own difficulties.]

Yeah. [He says eventually, fully comprehending. No matter how far he runs or how he hides, the ghosts of his pasts will always follow him, haunting. The sins will always be on his shoulders, the nightmares always in his head, the rage forever boiling underneath his skin.

He'll never be free, no matter what he does or tries.]

People got their smallclothes all twisted up in knots, lately. Particularly with mages an' all the political bullshit mages get bogged down with. Shit's going down, and people love their scapegoats. Just be careful, alright?

[ She stands, and gives Bruce a cheerful smile, reaching to pat his shoulder. ]

You don't have t' do it alone, even if you can. Nothin wrong with getting help, yanno?

But anyway, uh. Thanks for accepting. I'll get everything arranged, yeah? Don't worry about anything.

[ Cassandra inclines her head quietly in acknowledgement. ]

I have had my troubles with mages in the past. It is not so strange that you might wish to be free of magic's dangers and its complications.

[ She stands, signaling an end to the conversation, but glances down at him. ]

But it is a gift from the Maker - and it can be a gift from you to those you wish to help, if you choose to use it. What you do now is for you alone to decide. If you wish to speak again, however...I am here.

[It's hardly the first time Bruce would have to experience something like that, really, but he knows better than to say that. It's not like it'd change anything, anyway, so why bother.

...but he really does kind of appreciate her trying to go out of the way to do all of this. Even if it is probably kind of--unorthodox? Was it unorthodox? Bruce certainly has no clue in this regard.]

Ah--okay. [...still kind of ??? about this 'date' thing but. Okay. Especially since she's trying and he doesn't want to... uh, hurt her feelings.] Just... take your time. There's no rush.

[Maybe if its long enough she'll forget and this can all pass as some weird incident to never be spoken of ever again.]

[If only there were as many people who could be as understanding as the Seeker - at least for this situation. But Bruce knows that not having to face the ire of one of the Inquisition's advisors is already something to be grateful for, much less her understanding.

He gives a small nod to her words as well as her offer, gaze flicking down to the ground for a moment before he looks back at her with a small smile of gratitude.]

I'm humbled by such an offer. [He says, voice quiet.] But I think I will be fine. [Or he will make himself be fine, anyway. He has to.] Thank you for lending an ear, Seeker Pentaghast. I truly appreciate it.

[ She shoots him a grin, and stands, stretching carelessly. That didn't go so badly after all. She may have no idea how to figure out this dinner thing she just asked Bruce to, but. Other people would know. She has an entire camp of Wardens to ask. ]

Alright, Bruce. I'll get a hold of you when it's all set up. Seeya then!

[ And off she goes, sauntering like she owns the entire hold. ]

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[OPEN] Running with my roots pulled up

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WATCHED IT BURN AS SHE TOUCHED HIS FAAACE

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IT BURNED WHILE HE CRIED

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Cuz she heard it screaming out his name

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he set fire to the raaaaain

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