What feels like an eternity passes while Aleron processes what he's hearing, though it's hardly more than a silent pause. She cares. About me. Deep down, he already knew. Hoped for it, though in his solitary brooding wrote it off as merely craving any kind of connection. He knows, but hearing it is so novel. So... wonderful. And frightening.
The last time this happened in his life, she died. And Aleron cannot lose Bethany too. He's certain it would end him.
Isn't that what they've been discussing, though? The fear of losing again weighed against the potential for regrets over time and opportunity lost. Of course there are warning bells in his head that he should hold back, stop her from saying more, because he is convinced he has too little to offer. Not just to protect himself, but because it'd be the honorable thing to do. But he can't. It'd hurt her more and Aleron cannot bring himself to entertain anything that would. Moreso, he is having a very selfish moment. He flat doesn't want to. Nothing has felt more right in a long time than that moment where she relaxed into him. He's been alone too long and he wants to cherish this feeling of being wanted and cared for as long as he is permitted to.
"I don't understand why you do. I've not much to speak for," he admits with hesitation. Never doubt his self-worth and honesty rearing their heads. "But, I do care about you. More than I have any right to."
Later if she's angry with him for that admission while she was in a vulnerable state, he'll take all due reprimand for it. It does occur to him that she might regret this whole conversation later when she is less distraught. Regardless, he offers the most sincere reassurance he can, "You won't lose me, Bethany. Not unless you want me to go." He's scared stupid what that means for both of them, but he means every word.
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The last time this happened in his life, she died. And Aleron cannot lose Bethany too. He's certain it would end him.
Isn't that what they've been discussing, though? The fear of losing again weighed against the potential for regrets over time and opportunity lost. Of course there are warning bells in his head that he should hold back, stop her from saying more, because he is convinced he has too little to offer. Not just to protect himself, but because it'd be the honorable thing to do. But he can't. It'd hurt her more and Aleron cannot bring himself to entertain anything that would. Moreso, he is having a very selfish moment. He flat doesn't want to. Nothing has felt more right in a long time than that moment where she relaxed into him. He's been alone too long and he wants to cherish this feeling of being wanted and cared for as long as he is permitted to.
"I don't understand why you do. I've not much to speak for," he admits with hesitation. Never doubt his self-worth and honesty rearing their heads. "But, I do care about you. More than I have any right to."
Later if she's angry with him for that admission while she was in a vulnerable state, he'll take all due reprimand for it. It does occur to him that she might regret this whole conversation later when she is less distraught. Regardless, he offers the most sincere reassurance he can, "You won't lose me, Bethany. Not unless you want me to go." He's scared stupid what that means for both of them, but he means every word.