He inhales and exhales a little shakily, working to keep a hold on everything as he sips.

"We did. We did." It's as much to convince her as it is to convince him. What if he'd gotten there sooner, spent less time paging through books, been able to find common ground with the boy? The what-ifs aren't something he can afford to dwell on, no matter how there are always more. "And I still..."

He's always going to remember the way the ice cutting into the boy's neck had felt. "We have a ritual. But what's the point if we can't even... I wanted to save him." Anders reaches down, into his pouch, and brings out the small stuffed nug.