"You know," he says in an attempt to be conversational, "I know the sort of people who sell blue lyrium. It's a dangerous substance, yes. It could poison if used wrong. It could kill if touched by someone not a Dwarf. But they're not bad people, the smugglers. On the other hand, who smuggles red lyrium? Who... Who can hear the stories, see the results, and still be fine with it? At least blue can be used safely, and for important things."

If this doesn't work, he may try 99 Caskfuls of Ale on the Wall. Anything to distract him from how he's getting a cramp in his leg from these stirrups that he can't seem to shake off.