She had told herself, if he said no (because she was always very aware of that as a possibility), that she wouldn't cry. But that decision was always a pipe dream at best. As soon as the first but, gets out of Alistair's mouth, her eyes are misting, and it only gets worse as he continues on.

There's someone else. He could have, but--she was too late. She waited too long. She fucked up. She wasn't good enough, she wasn't good enough, she fucked up. A quiet, hiccuping sob escapes her lips before she turns away from Alistair, hand pressed against her mouth. She failed. It hits like a punch in the stomach, and she should say something, do something besides just standing there and crying like some pathetic ass (maybe that's one of the reasons?). But it's hard to think of anything to say, hard to think of anything besides she failed.

In the end, she falls back on an old favorite.

"I--" Her voice cracks, and she tries again. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Th--This was so stupid. I'm sorry. I should've--" She shakes her head. "I'm sorry."