arlathvhen: (55)
Beleth Lavellan ([personal profile] arlathvhen) wrote in [community profile] faderift 2016-11-06 08:45 am (UTC)

She pauses when he trips, teetering a bit, but he catches himself and she remains upright. "Did you drink, too?" She asks, tilting her head curiously. Well, he'd been in the tavern, after all. It made sense. With this new conviction, she carries on, dragging Cade slightly more carefully. But by the time they get to the lift, her mind has already moved on to the more pressing topic at hand.

"It's just--it's just not fair. It's not fair that the effort you put into confessing your feelings doesn't effect if you succeed. I tried! I know I'm not really that great, I know there's a whole hold of people better than me, but--I wanted it so much. And I spent so long preparing, trying to say the perfect words, and give the perfect gift. And I try so hard to be likable, to be nice and funny and accomodating. But it doesn't matter. I might as well have just said it off the top of my head. It's not fair." Romance is proving, much to Beleth's irritation, to be the area in which she can't simply act her way into someone's good graces, and it stings, because they are always the people she desires it the most of.

"I try so hard to just--just be good enough. And it doesn't matter. No matter how much I want it, or how much effort I put into it, I'm never good enough."

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