More than anything he wished he could be that trusting, be that willfully happy. He wished he could be like that, but knowing this world, knowing what he did of demons and magic, he couldn't. He simply couldn't - because it could be a horrible trap that would damn more than just himself, and it would be a betrayal of the man he had loved. Did love.

Quaking, he watched as Sam brought the necklace out - the necklace he had given to him in private, the necklace that held so much meaning because the words had never been able to escape him those years ago. He touched the metal, traced the edges of the etched symbol. He licked his lips, wanting so badly to believe, needing to believe.

God he needed to believe.

His vision grew fuzzy, moving his hand to cup Sam's cheek, feeling the press of a jaw he knew so very well.

"Where the hell have you been?" he asked, voice thick as he choked back tears in the middle of the market.