faderift | [open] darkness is a harsh term, don't you think

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[open] darkness is a harsh term, don't you think

WHO: Cade and yooou
WHAT: just a catch-all with various Cadely activities
WHEN: Kingsway
WHERE: Kirkwall, mostly the Gallows
NOTES: the Nari thread is probably best left alone if you have delicate sensitivities, also possibly NSFW

I. Myrobalan's Office

During the day, Cade can be found doing his actual Inquisition-paying job, which is reading and writing Myr's correspondence and other related tasks. It keeps him pretty busy, he has a nice enough time there, and will sometimes work late copying records or text from books on loan. He's usually open to company on these evenings, as long as they're respectful of the space.

II. The Chantry Garden

Without fail, Cade is at the sculpture of Andraste every day at dawn, where he prays and meditates for an hour before going about his business. When she's not away on Inquisition business, Nari is usually there as well, but sometimes he can be caught kneeling alone with a candle in the peace of the morning.

III. Eating, Drinking, Walking Around

No matter where he is in public, Cade always looks a little uncomfortable, like he doesn't quite belong there and is afraid of being called out on it. He sits alone in the dining hall, will usually take tea up to the office or the library to hide with it while he reads, and averts his gaze from people on the street. It's nothing unusual for him, though there are plenty who consider him odd and off-putting. Because... he is.

Wren

Unable to get the idea out of his head after he and Six visited the City Guard, Cade has been steeling himself for a conversation with his... former..? supervisor, Ser Coupe. They're friends, he reminds himself, as much as he has any friends. He shouldn't be afraid of her. And yet.
He knocks on the door to her office.

Six

With their first mission such a rousing success (of sorts), Cade invited Six along for the next one, finding she was likely as good a fit as any for a full day of sitting in silence while a man talks their ears off about fishing. He wanted to meet a rifter, so one with an even temperament and quiet bearing will be perfect. Hopefully.

They're on a boat. No fish are biting. It is unseasonably hot, and Cade yearns for death.

Beleth

In keeping with the tradition of he and Beleth making sure the other one is eating enough, Cade is holding a basket of muffins when he knocks on her door. It's been a busy couple of months, but he should probably make sure she's not about to keel over.

Nari

When he knew what day she'd be home, Cade asked Nari not to go to the new room straight away, but to allow him to collect her at the quarters she shares with Myr. He wants to be there to see her reactions, and, of course, to make sure he didn't ruin everything.
Upon arriving, he offers out a little bunch of wildflowers, the blush on his face already spreading to his ears. "Welcome home."

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Connor sits for a long time before the statue of the Chantry's primary figure of veneration. He's very still, his head gently tilting to one side and then the other and looking as though he were listening to a distant song that only he can hear, or like an especially intent and curious Mabari.

This is the place where the humans, generally, go to contemplate the one they call 'the Maker.' It's curious how they have such a strong desire to know who created them. Connor had met his creator, been tested and found... 'fascinating.' He frowns. No, these memories belong to the deviant, his 'brother.'

Pulling out of his reverie, Connor accidentally makes eye contact with a man who had been meditating near him. He greets him with a slight nod. "Hello," he says. "My name is Connor."

[ooc: I think Cade and Connor would be really bad influences on each other, so let's introduce them!]

Edited (typo) 2018-09-04 02:10 (UTC)

It has indeed been a busy couple of months, and while Beleth has been holding it together, she's starting to feel the wear and tear. She's lucky, perhaps, that most of the things that have been happening haven't been happening to her, she's just there for the ride, trying to do her job, and keep everyone in one piece.

So it's with a glad smile that she greets Cade and his muffins, opening the door and standing aside to let him in.

"Cade! What a nice surprise. Both you, and the food."

It would be incorrect to say that Nari wasn't made curious by Cade's request, but she meets it with neither sign of that curiosity nor any attempt to pry further; she just agrees.

She'd considered packing while she waits for him, but it's only down the hall, and what belongings she has that are not still bundled together in a pack from the Arlathvhen are sparse, and in the case of the wood she's seasoning, relatively unpackable, so when the little glyph on the door chimes to announce a presence she's just lying on the bed far down enough to put her bare feet up on the headboard and staring contemplatively at the ceiling.

At the knock, which marks it not Myr, Nari swings her legs down and pads over to open it with a little crooked smile, already running her fingers back through the myriad of little braids a very cheerful and exceptionally dexterous young woman on the edge of getting her vallaslin had insisted on putting her hair into one evening after storytelling had finished, the gesture making the little beads of wood and bone woven through them click.

Upon seeing Cade—and his ears—her smile spreads farther. Upon seeing the flowers, it turns bashful with the little hint of hesitance that comes from not being at all used to having this kind of attention paid her. She reaches to take them with a great deal of care, rubbing the velvet of one petal gently between finger and thumb.

"Thank you."

Generally, because he doesn't like to be looked at himself, Cade doesn't look at the other people who come to pray. It's pure chance that the other man meets his eye, and, a bit thrown off by his directness, Cade blinks at him a moment before clearing his throat and replying, "hello. Um. Cade."

He offers a smile to mirror hers, and comes forward to set the muffins on her desk. "You'd said..." he begins, assuming Beleth will pick up before he has to explain that she'd wanted to talk to him. This is the pattern with which he's become comfortable: implying something and having Beleth take it over. It works for them.

He doesn't know what kind of flowers she likes, if any, but Cade does remember that her friend was a gardener-- he was careful not to take them from the Chantry garden and risk offending anyone, so the gesture is there but hopefully without any ill meaning.
Nari's braids surprise him a little, but not in a bad way; he seems to give a little start, then his face reddens slightly in the way of someone seeing a face that somehow manages to be new at the same time that it was missed.
"You look nice," he says, and immediately catches himself in shyness, ducking his head to clear his throat in his hand. Then, he gestures with it toward the hallway, blushing harder. Welp, here goes.

(This kind of flowers, she likes this kind.)

The compliment takes her by surprise and, given the timing of it all, the pair of them end up ducking their heads near simultaneously, although Nari recovers with another skim of fingers through her hair rather than a throat clear.

"I, um... so do... thanks," she replies, managing to combine the two generally appropriate responses into one halting failure that she decides is probably best overcome by just following the invitation of Cade's gesture with some alacrity.

Why does Sunday always have to be right after Saturday? The Maker couldn't just squeeze a hangover recovery day somewhere in between? In all His sweet mercy? Nope? Okay.

As Luca tends to do now and again, he'd spent the night before in the tavern, knocking back pints of ale and singing nonsense battle songs with the soldiers and the few Templars that show. Of course, he never wears his Seeker gear for this, just as he isn't wearing it now, and just as he never puts it on unless on official Seeker business. Sort of defeats the purpose to walk into a room and essentially announce 'I'm investigating you!' In plain clothes, he makes his way through the Chantry Garden to the self-same statue Cade prefers, gravel crunching under his boots and he goes. Sighing out, he plops down heavily on a nearby bench, peering around, left to right, before seeming to decide this is a good place for prayer.

"Don't mind me, friend." Luca tells him with a waved hand, should Cade glance up to him, as he turns, feet lifting to settle on one edge of the bench and head leaning back to lay out on the rest of it. "I just prefer to begin my morning praise horizontally."

Connor instinctively nods deferentially. He doesn't have social programming to tell him the optimal behaviours, to help him integrate with human society- not that it worked all that well when he did... He does have some habits that seem to be an impression of that function, though.

"I'm sorry. I did not mean to disturb your contemplation. I'm new to Kirkwall-" others had warned Connor that his natural openness about his past, how he was a machine designed to accomplish a task and nothing more, would be unwelcome, not to say dangerous. He tries to be discrete. "Would you know if anyone can attend services here, or is there a preliminary procedure?"

Cade wasn't minding him until he called attention to himself, and now he catches sight of the unfamiliar man and is... not impressed.
Luca receives a slightly judgmental narrowing of the eyes and wrinkling of the nose as Cade looks him over, but then returns to his meditation, opting not to immediately call out what a disgraceful sight the newcomer makes. Splayed out like a drunk in front of Our Lady.
Shameful.

No one ever thought it possible, but it seems there is someone in the world who is worse at social interactions than Cade.
He stares at the man for a moment, struck by the off-ness of him, though he can't quite place a finger on it-- and opts to simply answer him at face value, with a small shake of his head. "Anyone can," Cade replies, his voice quiet, "if their heart is willing."

The walk to their shared room is a silent one, fraught with Cade's customary awkwardness, but there's a purpose to it that it usually lacks as he unlocks the door and holds it for Nari.

Within, the furnishings are solid but simple, all wood and cloth and somewhat rough-hewn, but he clears his throat so he can explain before she (as if she would) draws any untoward assumptions about the effort put in.
"I thought, um... you'd... you might want to... make it yours," he murmurs, stepping toward the table and resting a hand on it. The legs are solid and flat, the perfect canvas for a woodcarver.

As for the rest of what he's procured, there are two separate beds: a large and comfortable one for her, piled with pillows and furs, and a twin-size for him, simple but serviceable, his small chest of belongings already resting at its foot to indicate its owner. Both are separated from the greater room by delicate wooden privacy screens.

"I hope you don't-- um," Cade stammers, going beet red as he explains, "--I, um..." He gestures at his own bed, and the overall vibe is clear: they share a space now, but sharing a sleeping area is not a step he's able to take readily. Not yet.

Six shifts, sitting awkwardly beside Cade, frowning as she looks one way or another. Whatever this mission was meant to be, she thinks, she's not entirely sure this is what was intended. She feels too big and a little uncomfortable, head tilting to look at Cade before she glances out over the river, staring at the endless blue.

There's no fish. There's nothing but awkwardness, and she turns her head to stare at Cade. What has he gotten her into?

"Perhaps somewhere else."

Literally the mission was to ingratiate this horrid, verbose, unstoppable man to the Inquisition and its Rifters, which, at the very least, is more or less what's happening.
Cade meets Six's eyes with a miserable look, willing her to accept his nonverbal apology for the torturous afternoon. When she suggests elsewhere, he nods, glances at their charge, and shifts back to take the oars, moving them a few strokes.

She's doing her best, at least, and while she's hardly the most verbose of people - silence is better if there's nothing of worth to say, surely - Six is doing what she can. She is offering herself as someone to question, and that's all she can do. Being here for months makes her no authority, she knows that, but... She is making the best of it. Or, at least, trying to.

"It is rare that the fish are so quiet," she comments idly. "But I am sure some will be found soon."

Glancing at Cade, she tries to smile. Weakly.

Although Nari wasn't entirely sure what she'd been expecting when she walked in, it certainly hadn't been this. It was simple and lovely and complete, and it takes her a moment to register what he'd said and gestured at.

"I-- of course," she replies to his halting mostly unsaid thought with a small reassuring smile and a slightly embarassed scratch of the back of her neck. This shared space was more than enough shift for now; she's not sure she could have handled anything else in the way of forward movement. Whatever forward movement meant. "It's perfect. Thank you."

She looks again at the care and consideration taken with the furnishing, peering at the table legs and already thinking about what to put there. Something like the balusters she'd done in the hall at Skyhold?

Wait a second, (she frowns thoughtfully,) there's memory attached to that. A tired, furtive, tense looking-- she peers at Cade consideringly and then lights up with a short delighted laugh. Oop. He'll think that's about something else. Better explain.

"I was thinking about the Skyhold reconstruction and... that was you, wasn't it? While I was doing the stairs." It had been such a small quiet moment it had gone forgotten in the torrent of everything else.

He does, at first, think it's about something else, but that's put to rest when Nari clarifies. Though he blushes, Cade nods, a smile creeping onto his face. "That... yes," he murmurs, but it seems he isn't finished showing her around, because now he's fumbling with a key ring to remove one key from it. He nearly drops it in giving it to Nari, and seems clumsier than before, perhaps with good reason.

"Um," he mumbles, and beckons her forward, to a cabinet next to Nari's designated bed. There he gestures to a drawer with a lock on it, no doubt meant to fit the key she was just given.

When Nari opens it, she'll find not only the flogger she purchased a while back, but the horrible pile of rope and crusted blood that is Cade's.
"It's..." he begins, falters, and takes a deep breath to continue, "it's the only key." They're both hers now. Her rules, her discretion.

Everything here was theirs.

Everything except that.

And Nari changes, the genial looseness of her stance and expression turning to the gentle firmness she found herself slipping into with her hand on the whip.

Even if he was giving it to her now, she would never use it even if he asked. Even if he begged. There was nothing in it that came from a desire for care, not a single blow it had ever delivered had landed with anything other than agony bought to fill the hole of his guilt, and she would not have it sharing this new space with them.

But it wasn't hers, not really, and even if it were, her getting rid of it wouldn't be the same. And so, quietly, after looking for a long while, she turns to look up at Cade with a level and serious gaze.

"I will never wield this," Nari says, quiet and sure. She reaches for the rope, coils it slowly and carefully, and holds it out towards him. While not overtly commanding, it is not a simple offer. "Because whatever it is I do, and whatever it is I use to do it, the deepest part of it is care, and I can't imagine that's what you'll feel. You know each other too well for my hand to change that."

The tools work with the artist as much as the artist works with the tools.

Nari takes a slow breath. "So when you are ready," she says, "you will go and give it to the sea." She lifts a slightly curled hand to rest beneath his chin, her thumb along his jawline. "And just as right now this place is yours and mine, when you come back it will be ours."

Edited 2018-09-09 02:22 (UTC)

Six's comment barely seems to bounce off the Brother as he laughs and continues to prattle. At least the fish are quiet. At least someone is.

At first comes the crushing despair of rejection, the humiliation of offering something out and having it declined; but Cade is smart enough to glean, and fairly quickly at that, that what's happening here is not a condemnation of what he's done. He'd hoped that in giving Nari both implements, she'd see his commitment and know what this means to him, handing himself over. Trusting her with his life in a way he doesn't trust himself. And at first, when she gives the rope-whip back, he's scared.
But her hand is under his chin, and he reluctantly meets her eyes, giving a gentle nod as he takes Nari's meaning. She doesn't want it: not because she doesn't want him. But because of what it is to him.

Still, that's a lot to digest.

And here she'd just been thinking that this room was more than enough forward movement for comfort.

Sometimes comfort didn't seem like a state they were allowed so much as something they could find small moments of alternated with the nearly painful writhe of a snake shedding its skin so it can have space to grow. Even so, she was beginning to trust that there was always another bit of it waiting like the next handhold on a sheer cliff, even if sometimes she fumbled in the reaching. Like now?

Cade nods, but Nari is nevertheless worried she'd hurt him without meaning to, and the surety she'd had dissolves into concern. As suddenly exposed as she feels with her arm raised this way, she doesn't drop her hand from where it gently holds him.

"I could... keep it for you? Until you ask?"

Sure enough, Beleth has long since stopped waiting for Cade to continue. Instead, she thinks on what exactly she said--Ah! There's a moment of recognition in her eyes when she recalls that, then squints at the muffins.

"But that was for tomor--" Pause. What day was it? She turns her gaze out the window, then her face relaxes, and she sighs. Today was, in fact, the tomorrow she'd mentioned. Which was just more proof that she needed these precious few moments where she can set aside her work and just enjoy the company of a friend.

It'll also be good practice, telling Cade something that she hasn't yet told anyone else. She isn't exactly sure how Cade will react, but she's sure that it won't be quite as much of an issue as it could be with others. So, first fetching herself a muffin, she takes a seat in one of the seats in front of her desk, gesturing for Cade to take the other.

"I apologize. Things have been...hectic, lately. But how are you doing, Cade?"

Cade considers her offer, then nods again, finding that to be the solution he was hoping for. If he's really giving the control over to Nari, he doesn't want it in his possession at all.
"Mm...maybe we can..." he says quietly, and a sheepish smile finds its way to the corner of his mouth, "...pick a day." To get rid of it, together. He quickly adds, "if you like."

Cade sits as instructed, glad Beleth drew her own conclusion about today being tomorrow, since he didn't want to be the one to tell her. Once seated, he offers a small, pleasant shrug that glosses over the usual ups and downs of living his very anxious life.
"Fine," he says, easily enough. Perhaps he'll bring up Nari at some point, but that still seems like a secret somehow. Besides, Beleth wanted to say something to him.

She'll take it back, then, and finally let go of him to retrieve the key he'd given her to put it back where it'd rested in the drawer, then close and lock it. It makes a quiet but definitive click, and the key returns to the pouch she uses for them.

"I— yes. Would it... be all right if I asked you to pick one?" Nari's smile mirrors his, still a little unsure. "I know there're a lot of memories attached, and I don't want to rush you or hold you back? ...Unless you wanted either of those?" She sighs through her nose, her smile quirks up farther self-consciously, and she runs a hand back through her hair again. The beads click against each other as the braids swing back into place after her hand passes. This is all a little hard to navigate. Cade was trusting her with a kind of control that he obviously wanted her to take, and it was something she was willing to, but at the same she felt clumsy and awkward doing so.

They probably both did.

It was probably prudent to ask what he wanted rather than keep guessing, but she wasn't sure yet what the question was.

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[open] darkness is a harsh term, don't you think

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