"I can't imagine how that is, having people from home who aren't as you remember, and you not being the you they remember, I wonder why they make that decision. The ones that are watching, dreaming, deciding." The sea guides us where we are meant to go, that's how it is for my people. To the places we must be, takes us to the people we must meet. The words catch in the back of her throat, under her tongue, not to be said today, not right now. "We woke up twice. We woke up here on one side, then at home. We wake up. Our lives go on. The stream diverges and continues to flow." Unconsciously her hands move, parting, and there's a longing for a map that she would've had in an office but this played out in the Gallows before, didn't it? Her and Myrobalan talking it through, and Thranduil posing a question where the key slid in the lock.
Another person and Araceli might keep her mouth from pursing, keep out the wrinkle of annoyance at new rifters but Cosima was at the negotiations, she'll know Araceli's opinions intimately by now. "Sometimes there's no way to make them see, you could tell them the truth of everything from the minute they arrive and they'll still think it's less important. Or that trying to bend it all to suit them is how it works. Soon it'll be three years here, there are things I've spent time doing longer than I did at home, things that are more real to this me than the person going about living my life there. Korrin and I have been together longer than I've been with anyone else in my whole life so I think it's making peace with it. Finding the things that matter, realising there are investments you have to make that will come good in time because this is it; other people can see it or sense it, we've been here long enough that they're planning our futures too, and all of us will be lumped in together."
Resentment comes easier with that knowledge but she's been here a long time, doing her best, and people who do treat it as some sort of pageantry where they can piss and moan and do as they please as if no one is watching them all and seeing them as rifters, all of them thrown together in the same scale? It won't ever get out from under her skin. Draining her glass burns less than thinking about it.
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Another person and Araceli might keep her mouth from pursing, keep out the wrinkle of annoyance at new rifters but Cosima was at the negotiations, she'll know Araceli's opinions intimately by now. "Sometimes there's no way to make them see, you could tell them the truth of everything from the minute they arrive and they'll still think it's less important. Or that trying to bend it all to suit them is how it works. Soon it'll be three years here, there are things I've spent time doing longer than I did at home, things that are more real to this me than the person going about living my life there. Korrin and I have been together longer than I've been with anyone else in my whole life so I think it's making peace with it. Finding the things that matter, realising there are investments you have to make that will come good in time because this is it; other people can see it or sense it, we've been here long enough that they're planning our futures too, and all of us will be lumped in together."
Resentment comes easier with that knowledge but she's been here a long time, doing her best, and people who do treat it as some sort of pageantry where they can piss and moan and do as they please as if no one is watching them all and seeing them as rifters, all of them thrown together in the same scale? It won't ever get out from under her skin. Draining her glass burns less than thinking about it.