Anders (
justice_is_blond) wrote in
faderift2015-12-18 03:41 pm
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[Open] No boom today. Boom tomorrow.
WHO: Anders and anyone! Or, well, almost anyone. Sorry, Fenris and Cullen...
WHAT: Anders arrives at Skyhold, takes a new fake name, and tries to get a measure of the Inquisition while keeping a low profile. Starting in prose, but will switch to brackets to match if that's preferred!
WHEN: Mid-haring
WHERE: All over Skyhold, choose your location?
NOTES: Warning for Anders? I can't think of any real ones atm, I'll update if that changes.
WHAT: Anders arrives at Skyhold, takes a new fake name, and tries to get a measure of the Inquisition while keeping a low profile. Starting in prose, but will switch to brackets to match if that's preferred!
WHEN: Mid-haring
WHERE: All over Skyhold, choose your location?
NOTES: Warning for Anders? I can't think of any real ones atm, I'll update if that changes.
He's tired, but that's nothing new. The road's been long. It shows in the way he leans a little on his staff, a fairly generic-looking thing that's far from his old appreciation of things flashy, just as it shows in the state of his rather ragged-looking robes and the scruff of a beard that he doesn't exactly like. At least he's not dead on his feet - the company of a few refugees more than willing to bear the brunt of conversation on the way up had made the last couple of days more bearable than usual.
Now he's here, and the strain is back on his shoulders. Skyhold holds more than the usual level of danger but there's no getting around the fact that he has to at least visit this place. The Inquisition is likely to be a player in the future of mages, and Anders will not see the little bit of progress made be undone out of fear, or laziness, or naivete, or any other number of things that could cut down freedom for his people.
But that doesn't mean he knows how to go about working toward that, just yet. And that means he's slowly going around the fortress, gathering information by listening and asking simple, short questions. They have to be short. The second-to-last thing he can afford is to slip up and let Justice get too accusatory, which could lead to the last thing he can afford - to be recognized by someone who would turn him over to the 'authorities,' such as they are.
"Have you been with the inquisition long?" is one of the most frequent questions, along with a follow up if the answer is yes: "Do you think they treat mages well here?" It's not like he's hiding the staff, after all. But there are more simple questions mixed in as well, questions about the need for herbalists or healers, about where one might find a warm enough corner to sleep in, or where one can lose what few coppers they have over a game of cards. They're general. Careful. They have to be. He's no longer ready to die.
no subject
"I...understand what you are saying monsieur. I have seen enough in my travels to know that...perhaps...the Circle of Magi is not the best solution in assuaging the general fear of what mages can do. I will not say that there are not mages that are capable of and have achieved some monstrous feats, but this can be said of anyone...fear exacerbates reality, distorting it unfairly," again, Michel was not a Templar so he did not have the same reserves or prejudices, "but I assume you would like to see that freedom applied to more than just mages? We are all prisoners in this world, monsieur...very few of us get the real freedom that we deserve even if we would like to think otherwise."
Michel could relate, though he appeared to be a man of great privilege, the reality was an entirely different story. Where he came from being elf-blooded meant no matter what you did you were not accepted. Becoming a Chevalier was incredible luck on his behalf and if his lineage was ever revealed his name would be removed from the rolls and he would be executed. This did not help his own panic and paranoia at the prospect of being discovered, as being seen as a fraud when he truly believe in honor. So for him freedom for elves, better treatment of elves in the alienages...better still, nobility and equality for them meant a great deal to Michel. Paradoxically he made an effort to keep his relationship with elves distant, so this did not make him the greatest example...but as of late...as of late...
no subject
"I wouldn't go so far to say all of us are prisoners. I would say that I believe in everyone being free. Things beyond one's control, what they are born as, should never lead to them being imprisoned, beaten, or worse." There are plenty who don't suffer due to their blood. Conversely, there are plenty who are enslaved to poverty for reasons not of their own making, but that's where the Chantry should be turning its attention. Not to mistreating mages.
He glances over at the knight. What could a Chevalier truly know of not being free? They're nobles, born to privilege even if it's not as great as the privilege as some other nobles have. No one kicks them awake. No one hunts them. No one locks them in a tiny room or cell for a smart remark or a desire to just be out in the warm sun and fresh air.
"Have you ever gone a year without seeing the sky? Have you ever felt the hatred of an entire crowd of people for things you had nothing to do with? The feel of a metal fist crashing into your side because you're not seen as worthy of any better? That is what I seek to be rid of, for my people and anyone else who suffers due to something they'd no control over."
no subject
Upon having his own suffering questioned the Chevalier turned his focus on the mage, appraising him carefully, as carefully as he might if he were still in court with a mask on his face playing silly little Games. Games that determined whether you lived or died and how you played it could additionally determine whether you were able to proudly walk in the light with your head held high or if you would have to live in perpetual paranoia of the things that would shame you. He had no love for any of it and yet he had become competent in his own way.
Having assessed what he needed to he approached his companion and while Michel was never one to invade an individual's space he was close enough for this to be uncomfortable in most polite circles.
"Have you a story all written out in your mind about me, monsieur?" He was civil, regardless, his voice low and conversational, "the man with the lion that stands out in relief against his breastplate. I can imagine what you must be thinking to ask such questions, but you may very well have different questions if I was not standing here in full armor before you. If it was just my skin you had to look at instead of my armor your outlook would change, I am certain of this."
With a smile that was unremarkable and was very nearly not present in his expression Michel withdrew to his spot leaning against the battlements.
"I understand these things you speak of...for a privileged Chevalier who couldn't possibly understand your sufferings. My understanding might be different, but that is because my story is different."
no subject
"Yes, I'm sorry. Certainly there's something in your past that compares to watching friends be stripped of everything they are so they can mindlessly slave away or be bent over the nearest hard surface. Surely everyone is threatened by that."
He's being rude and he knows it. But this man has just dismissed mage suffering with the excuse that everyone suffers and Anders can't take that.
"Everyone's bottom is not the same. Better to have nothing, to be beaten, spat upon, hungry, and cold, to be alone in the world, than to be made Tranquil. I have been all of these things, and I've lost people I care about to whim, only to see their hollow eyes after, hear their empty voice. To call what happens to my people not the best..."
It trivializes everything his people go through, and it shines more light on why so few care to help.
"I don't know your story. I don't know what you've been through. But you've clearly no grasp of what mages go through if you believe the Circles as they are perhaps are not the best solution."
no subject
Michel wasn't as passionate as Anders, he kept his emotions in check, but there was a kind of sadness and weariness that surrounded him as he spoke of these things.
"There was also, what Gaspard coined as the Battle of Halamshiral, I was in that battle...it was a battle in which Chevalier killed Chevalier. I had to fight and kill people I once knew, and I had to watch people I knew and cared about--brothers and sisters in service bled out all around me. Sometimes I close my eyes at night and all I can see and all I can hear is their agony. I lost my horse, Cheritenne, to a Sylvan attack...my closest companion, for reasons that if you haven't figured out yet then I will not explain it. It cut me to the quick, but clearly, I know nothing of loss."
Since Michel was not allowed to become close to anyone due to his falsified birthright, the closest he had ever been to anyone, or anything for that matter, was his warhorse. A noble creature who would never judge him and did not care who he was.
"Shall I describe for you in some detail what I saw in Arlathan? Will it help if I paint a picture of sadness that doesn't end even in death? Even for me it was difficult to comprehend that the very first sufferers in this world were, and have been since, elves. It was a city of elves, you would think things would be different, but as the elves were the first, who do you think scrubbed the floor?" It was an elven mage who had brought this fact to his attention, a Dalish who was wise and not too proud of his heritage to dismiss what once had been. He was irritating, but there was no dismissing his wisdom, "I found myself in a room, a large room filled with Eluvians long deactivated by their elven masters. The Eluvians are horrible on their own, but that room was much worse. When Arlathan fell to attack and ruin the elves escaped using the Eluvians, the ones who made it...likely nobles and mages, closed and destroyed many Eluvians behind them so that they could not be followed. Pragmatic yes? In doing so they left many commoners and slaves behind...in that room there were no exits...no windows, no doors. They were alone, they were hungry, suffering, dying, clinging to each other, all of these bodies just holding each other in their last moments. They revisited that pain on me and on my companions in that terrible room."
Michel exhaled, knowing well that he'd told this mage far more than he intended or that he had, in fact, told anyone else here.
"The moral of this story isn't that my pain is worse than your pain, or the suffering and trials I've been surrounded with are worse or any less so than yours. You don't think I can relate to pain, suffering, and loss on any level, because that pain is not like yours? Or you see my breast plate and assume that clues you in on some great details? That is your prerogative. I cannot claim to sympathize with the suffering of mages, I'm not a mage, but I can empathize with suffering, inequality, loss, and pain in my own way. I've been beaten, starved, captive in ropes unable to move any of my limbs, subject to the whims of others or fate as to whether I would live or be killed...but if I were to take that suffering and place it on a pedestal, then would I not fail to see a larger picture?"
no subject
It's quite the story, and if this man grew up in an alienage it certainly suggests even more to it, but none of it addresses the point Anders is making.
"I said nothing about you not being able to relate to pain, suffering, or loss on any level. What I said is that Tranquility is a suffering beyond death. At least with the dead they're gone and you're able to mourn them."
He shook his head.
"Your story has suffering in it. But it's all elves, which suggests that even you don't believe your original statement, that all suffer equally. You believe elves suffer more. That elves need freedom more. Whereas my point is not that some people deserve freedom more, but that not everyone is without freedom. You've done nothing to disprove what I've said."
no subject
Michel's voice still remained calm, his face the perfect mask of impassiveness now as he continued to speak.
"The fact that you now base your argument on a single act of cruelty does not excuse your original assumptions, nor does it erase your original questions which I could not let go unanswered. Lest you soon forget what you asked specifically about me. Have you ever gone a year without seeing the sky? Have you ever felt the hatred of an entire crowd of people for things you had nothing to do with? The feel of a metal fist crashing into your side because you're not seen as worthy of any better? You said I missed your point? I say you're attempting to make a lot of points and many of them are steeped in assumptions and that's what I'm answering to as you misunderstood me from the off, because of what you saw. That may be very dangerous to you and whatever cause you seek to promote here, particularly with all of the Templars running about."
It wasn't a threat, but it might have been thinly veiled advice.
"Though I do not want you to think I am neglecting your point, that is being Tranquil is a suffering beyond death. Let us say that you can prove it, how do you explain away the mages who opt to become Tranquil, choosing it over death or the prospect of death? If it is a suffering worse than death why would they not take the risk instead of choosing that suffering?"
no subject
Anders' jaw clenches, and his hands tighten on the wall where they're resting. He can't glow. He can't risk showing what he is. He'll die, fast, without being able to help his people at all.
"Fear," he said through gritted teeth. "Fear, because it's driven into our heads over and over that we are dangerous, we are a threat, and we could lose control and kill innocent people. Fear of the mystery of a Harrowing, which is awful to go through and those of us who have been through it aren't supposed to explain. Fear, because every visitor to the Circle and nearly every Templar looks at us with hatred and terror, and what's that supposed to say to the young, vulnerable, and impressionable?"
Even worse was that he knew being Tranquil was torture but he couldn't explain how, couldn't describe the way Karl had come back to himself for a short time and pleaded for death. It had to be due to Justice, somehow.
"And those of us who are left behind, who look into eyes that are empty and know the person we knew is gone despite their body still moving about, there's that pain as well. They're gone but present. There can be no true mourning when you see them day after day. It is a loss that is perpetual, renewed daily."
no subject
Michel shifted his weight, his expression softening a bit around the edges, knowing very well that he was poking the man at this point.
"You probably think I am an insufferable ass, yes? I can imagine you'd like to yell at me or come over here and punch me squarely in the face, or worse...I can see it in the hardening of your jaw and in your fists, that you're holding something back for the sake of self-preservation," not that Michel would utter a word if the mage did either or both, but he was certain the man wouldn't wish to draw unnecessary attention, "I'm not trying to be, but I can tell that you do not travel in many political circles, in politics you must convince people to act against their own self-interest as few people that hold such positions will turn away from the explanations that best serve their agenda. You have the burden of proving your point and to do that you'll have to develop grace, charisma, and an impervious wall...but more importantly, you will have to prove that your point is not something that comes from a place of passion, or personal experience, but that your point is something that can be applied everywhere to everyone."
no subject
What makes him all the more frustrated is that he knows the Tranquil have no choice but to sound satisfied when they're Tranquil, and apparently this moron is ignorant of that. His proof will never work as proof unless he wants to reveal he's an abomination and try to hand over control near another Tranquil in front of people. That would be a death sentence for him, and torture for the Tranquil.
"You are an insufferable ass. You don't know the first thing about the truth of Tranquility, and I'd not have to argue against all Templars or all Circles to point out that this cruelty exists. No one would ever buy an argument against all, because there's always one exception they once heard of. An argument like that would be nugshit."
No, this man knows nothing about what he's talking about, Tranquil or making arguments, and Anders straightens and pushes himself away from the wall. Alayre and Thrask. That's two exceptions to all Templars, while Anders has a list a kilometer long with those who are entirely cruel. If he knows two, or rather knows one and knew one, there would be others who would have a name.
"I can't see any way this conversation can possibly go on in a helpful manner. Good day." Which is... far more mild than Justice would have him be, but he's starting to get a little better at clamping down on Justice's urges when there are people around.
no subject
Orlais is political no matter how you looked at it and mages were higher on the food chain than some, so if this man decided to leave Ferelden with his point of view then he was going to have a difficult time selling this the way that he was.
"You say so because you do not realize I'm trying to help you, not antagonize you. It is easy enough to make you believe that I believe in everything I am saying as what I feel, it is not what I feel for the record. For example I find The Harrowing to be an irrelevant and dishonorable ultimatum, as it is designed to test things that cannot be measured. I do not know how far you intend to go with this, however--you came here so obviously you intend to go a long way, but I am an example of the walls you will hit and I am only shooting at you with hypothetical expectations. Perhaps you would not have to make the argument for all so much as the majority, but some situations could become that extreme...I'm presenting you with those extremes. In Orlais the only person you would have to convince would be the Imperial Enchanter, the mage closest to Her Radiance's side and to here ear as a point of interest, one person. Seems easy enough, but it is my understanding that she came all the way from Rivain and climbed to the position...pro-circle and a political monolith. She serves with the Inquisition as well as is my understanding, which would make it a good opportunity to break into politics, if you could convince her. I would advice you to get a mask, a big mask with lots of feather, and master endurance."
For Michel it isn't about knowing anything about Tranquility so much punching holes right through this man's arguments. He doesn't necessarily have to believe in what he's saying to make arguments against it, he simply has to question some of the things that the mage cannot explain. True, he does not know much about Tranquility, but whether Michel thinks it is right or if it is wrong is irrelevant, it's whether or not the other man can be convincing enough. There will be tougher people with stronger opinions on the matter than Michel and that will include mages who already have the political savvy here.
"By your leave then...though, why did you decide to come here?"
no subject
One last question. He'll answer one last question, and then they can go somewhere and breathe and he can pray the man sees no blue. Anders' vision is already a little edged with it, which is often a sign that his eyes are changing colors, but at least his back is to this man.
"A Templar told me there were mages and Templars working together here, and mages were free and safe - safe from the Templars, even. I needed to see it for myself to believe it, and now that I believe, I seek to keep this a lasting situation. We cannot go back. We need to not go back. Is that clear enough for you? Or are you going to tell me about this one single mage your friend's sister overheard talking about how they were maybe fine with the Circle and use that to suggest it wasn't that bad?"
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Michel was trying to nudge him that way with his subtle drops, but it didn't seem to take. He couldn't be more blatant in his approach due to his own exile from court so, for the moment, he would have to shrug it off as a lost cause.
"Like I said, I don't have to believe what I say in order to present you with an argument...so no...that's not at all what I was going to imply, not at all what I was thinking. The Inquisition is doing a lot of good so far, it is why I am here, to help it continue to do good...so we are not on opposite sides, Monsieur. A place to belong, change, a need for a purpose? I wish I could stay, but I have a Forbidden One to take care of," or attempt, Michel had no delusions there, "in short, I was curious about you. Mille fois merci. And do speak to to the Madame de Fer if you have the opportunity."
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"Which?" He should simply let the guy go and go on his own way, but he has to ask. The tome they'd found in Kirkwall had suggested there were four of them, and as he'd assisted with the death of one and knew through shared Warden battle stories of the death of Gaxkang, that left two. Imshael, and the Formless One.
no subject
"Imshael. I met him a year ago and I've been tracking him ever since...and now I know where he's residing and what he is doing. Getting to him, however, is problematic," and that is why Michel has come all the way here from Emprise du Lion.
no subject
Anders is silent for several moments after Michel answers. He won't offer help. He can't, the cause is here. He doesn't want to, because he doesn't think Michel will ever help mages in return. But he's one of very few who has gone against a Forbidden One and won.
"I've heard of two being taken down. One through gossip, and one's written about in Tales of the Champion, the book by Varric Tethras. You may want to speak with people who were known associates of the Hero of Ferelden or the Champion of Kirkwall, if you've not yet. Zevran Arainai, Alistair Theirin, Varric Tethras, Fenris, I believe they're all supposed to be here." He won't recommend Merrill when it comes to any topic touching demons, and Isabella doesn't appear to be around right now.
"Getting to him may be the least of your worries, no matter how problematic." The High Dragon in the bonepits had been less of a challenge than Xebenkeck. "May you not die." He doesn't like Michel... but he doesn't hate the guy.
no subject
He wasn't willing to risk another life to the creature and had made it his own life's purpose to finding the demon and ridding the world of him. Though he also understood how it probably sounded, admitting that he freed the creature, but it was more complicated than that. Also a story he doubted the mage cared about so he did not elaborate further.
"There are worse things than death, I've been told," Michel said canting his head away his gaze briefly turned in the direction of his future destination, "but you have my gratitude for whatever it's worth."
no subject
"I'll certainly be interested in dealing with Red Templars." It's nice to have a group of Templars that everyone is on board with killing. He can let Justice feel a little fulfilled without bringing down consequences on them. Maybe he'll even get to go to Emprise du Lion with the Inquisition. Anders can wish, even if he has no cause for any sort of hope.
"And if you survive the gratitude will be worth more. I suppose we'll see." His back is still mostly to the man, but Anders manage a nod nonetheless, and takes one step to leave before pausing a final time. "I'm called Detlef. Yourself?"
Having a name will make it easier to know if the man dies to Imshael, after all.
no subject
"Well then, if it's Templars you want then they have them up there in spades...though it might interest you to know that they are experimenting with more than just Red Templars with the Red Lyrium and the Demon is aiding them. So take care when if you find yourself out there," Michel might have kept his distance, but that didn't mean he hadn't scouted the area and seen what they were doing.
I fully intend to survive," though what that suggested about him was uncertain. Was he talented, or was he overly confident, Michel kept himself very passive as to which it could be, "Michel de Chevin."
no subject
"Michel. I'll see if I hear your name in the future." With a half-wave, Anders is off to find a quiet corner and get some space. Justice is practically seething and it's giving him a headache. He may need to make getting a small room set up a priority, here.