faderift | Whoops. (semi-open)

Sina's eyes widen when Beleth looks at her, and she shrugs helplessly. She doesn't know either.
Still leaning against the stall, she takes another bite and watches Beleth come around to join her. "If you were a mage, I'd bring it to the council," she muses, "...if the Templars have the authority to put people in cells, there's a larger imbalance than I thought."

"If I were a mage," Beleth repeats, and it takes effort for that not to sound bitter. "But I'm not a mage, eh. Story of my life." She sighed, leaning back and letting her head thunk solidly against one of the stable beams. She takes another few bites of the bread, putting aside old wounds to focus on brand new ones. Whee.

"I'm not sure she had authority in the first place. I think that was my saving grace. If you count her dragging me here as a saving grace." She does let bitterness sink in with that statement, and she opens her eyes, studying the ceiling. "But I think if she could get away with it, she'd have thrown me in the dungeon. And I really didn't want to make her feel particularly inspired to try getting away with it."

She looks down at Sina suddenly, scowling. "This is such crap, Sina! I spend my whole life terrified of Templars, and when I get here, I see them holding secret meetings and they drag me out of my bed, and I'm the one who's wrong. I'm so tired of everyone trying to make me have an open mind, like, if the Templars could've gotten away with it, my mind would've been real open, all splatted on the ground while they dragged my brother away!" She isn't trying to lash out at Sina, honestly, but she's so tired of everyone acting like she's the crazy one for her distrust.

Sina is happy to lend a sympathetic and equally-incredulous ear, though she steps back in wide-eyed surprise when Beleth suddenly raises her voice. Despite Beleth's tone and Sina's initial surprise, as the rant concludes, Sina provides only further agreement. She finishes eating and steps forward to sit on the ground beside the other elf, apparently deciding this is a sitting conversation.

"I'm amazed they've let us go on for as long as we have, based on what I know," she says quietly, thoughtfully. "I find it difficult to believe they believe we'll regard them with anything but distrust, but I'm not sure they're in the habit of thinking about what other people want." She draws up her knees and wraps her arms around them, resting her chin atop one. "I wonder, too, what my life would be like if the Chantry had its way. I'm glad my clan was able to evade them, and I have no intention of changing that."

"I could tell you what I've learned about the Circles, but it hardly matters at this point." Beleth is glad to sink down to the ground, sighing as she folds her legs underneath her. "You would have been trapped in a stone tower, and never felt grass, or the wind, or rain. And if they thought you were too weak or too strong, they would have made you Tranquil."

She wants to yell, and she wants to shout, and she wants to keep shouting until she feels like she's been heard. She wants people to stop treating her like she's the oddball here, like she's the one who should feel bad for being wary, for not forgetting what the shemlen have already done. But it would do no good--really, it could only do more harm, because she can feel that knot in her throat, and she knows if she starts yelling, all that built up bitterness will work herself up into something she might not be able to control.

So, she closes her eyes, finishing her own bread as she regains control of herself. It's hard, when she's worked herself up already, but when she speaks, she's significantly calmer.

"There's a boy here. His name is Salem, from Clan Ghilan. Some of his clanmates went missing, and he tracked them to Haven, then headed here. He's staying to see if he can find anything out, and if he can't--" She opened her eyes, turning to look at Sina. "--He wants me to leave with him. Just up and leave Skyhold, and go with him to find his clanmates. I keep thinking...maybe I'll do it. Maybe I'll just leave with him." It's not something that she's told...well, anyone, and she's not sure why she feels like Sina is the one that needs to know. Maybe because Sina is Dalish, but not Ashara. She understands, but she isn't a part of the clan she'll be inevitable disappointing.

Edited 2016-01-27 07:52 (UTC)

"Tranquil," Sina repeats in a whisper, angling her head so that her mouth presses against her knee, her eyes looking worriedly away. She knows the word and she's heard it before in relation to mages, but still isn't quite certain what it fully means. Whatever it is, the way people say it, it's terrifying.

She looks uneasily out at the courtyard while Beleth does her own thinking, then shifts her eyes back to the other elf when she speaks up again. "...would you come back?" Sina asks, sounding a bit worried. If nothing else, she worries about Dalish traveling on their own, since her and Nari's trip here was so stressful. "Either way, it sounds like a worthy cause. If members of his clan are missing, he should do what he can to find them."

"Both the mages and the Templars are arguing about what to do with them. They treat them like pets that need to be cared for." Beleth didn't know what Tranquil were, when she'd first come to Skyhold. But after listening to enough meetings, and actually asking one or two, she'd figured it out. To her great horror. "It's when they cut you off from the Fade. Cut your soul." She speaks quietly, almost whispering. "It was done if they thought you wouldn't be able to resist possession, or do blood magic. But it sounded like the lines got sketchy towards the end." She pulled her knees up to her chest, staring down. "Have you spoken to those people who dress like mages but aren't? They don't. Feel. They don't emote." She paused, and mumbled something even quieter.

"Wonder if they can do it to nonmages."

Then she looks up, blinking at Sina's question. It was a good question, really. She hadn't thought about it. "I guess it depends...I don't think I'd be missed too much. Maybe for a week or two, but once everyone got used to it, they'd move on. I guess it depends on what Salem would do. Maybe I'd ask to stay in his clan. Clan Ghilan stays away from humans, it'd be a nice break."

Sina's face goes pale at the description, her eyes growing larger and her now-frowning mouth pressing firmly into her knee. This is easily one of the most disturbing things she's ever heard, and it takes her away for several moments, even while Beleth speaks.

She eventually returns to herself and looks back at Beleth, blinking apologetically-- she's probably missed something. "I would miss you," she says automatically. Never mind that they barely know each other; next to Nari, Clan Ashara is the closest thing Sina has to kin while she's here at Skyhold, and she would be sorry to see any of them go.

It's rude to say 'You'd get over it.' so Beleth doesn't. Instead, she just stops talking about it. Sina seemed distracted enough by talking of the Tranquil, anyway, and that would be a better topic. Focusing her anger on a set people, rather than just talking about running away. Pretending that would actually be a thing she could do.

"It's...pretty messed up, isn't it? The Tranquil. It's why the new Templar order can't be like the old one. That kind of stuff can't happen anymore." She presses her lips into a thin line, fidgeting with her scarf. "I won't let it happen. If they try to, I'll--" She pauses, frowning. What can she do? Try to kill the entire Templar presence at Skyhold? That's a bit extreme.

"I'll make sure everyone knows."

It's difficult to not simply continue being disturbed by the notion, especially as Beleth keeps discussing it. Sina anxiously tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, watching Beleth attentively.

"They don't have that authority anymore," she says, reassuring herself as much as anything, "...just as they don't have the authority to punish you."

Beleth picks on on the fact that their conversation topic may not be preferable to the other Dalish, and can't blame her for finding it upsetting. She reaches over, a hand gently resting on Sina's shoulder. "They won't do it ever again, Sina. Even if they wanted to, no one will let them. Those days are over." She's not sure if that's true, but she says it as convincingly as she can, but it should be true.

"We can talk about something else, if you want. Or not talk. I'm stuck here for the next few hours, so..." Shrug. "I don't care. I just have to stop and look like I'm working when the Templars get close."

Sina snaps out of it when Beleth touches her shoulder, and looks at her thoughtfully for a moment before shaking her head. "You don't have to do anything," she points out quietly, "they're not your masters. You don't take orders from them." Sina's expression is serious, almost grim. The idea of a Dalish under the thumb of the local Templars does not sit well with her.

"I know I don't have to," Beleth replied, shrugging. She pauses, then her eyes dart around the barn, making sure that no one else is around to overhear them. Satisfied, she turns back to Sina. "That's not the point. What Nerva did, it wasn't right. But if I skip out or tell her to get lost, right now? I'd be escalating the situation." She tapped her fingers on her leg as she tried to figure out exactly how to voice the complicated power struggle that she was participating in.

"But if I do this, and I stay quiet, then who looks worse? Me or Nerva? When this is over, I'll talk to people, and they will talk to people. Including the other Templars, the people that Nerva reports to. Then they are the ones who tell her off." Beleth spreads her hands out. "Now I am the innocent Dalish, bullied by the Templar Order, and she's a loose canon. And Nerva can't get at me about it. Sometimes, you have to lose a battle so you can win the war. When I was in my clan, I did a lot of trading with the humans. They'd try to give me bad deals. Sometimes, I would take the bad deals, so they felt like they'd won. They'd be so caught up in being smug that they wouldn't realize that I was giving them even worse deals. It's a similar concept."

Beleth may have a point, but that doesn't make Sina any happier about it. She rests her chin on her knees again, listening sourly as the older elf says her piece. Her expression begins to change, however, when Beleth tells her about fleecing people in trades. It's not that Sina would condone that sort of behavior here, but she understands the point being illustrated.

"...that makes sense," she agrees, thoughtfully casting her eyes downward. "It's... brave of you."

Beleth looked up at Sina at the mention of bravery, eyes wide and confused. Brave? She didn't feel particularly brave. But slinging off someone's compliments is pretty dang rude, so she just gives a shrug, glancing away. "Thank you. I never really thought of it as being brave...? I thought it was just--safer, I suppose, to not directly confront them. But I guess it was better than nothing. It made me feel better, at least."

She turns back to Sina, giving her a smile. "I think things will work out, though. At least in regards to this. And I got some good information for the mage council."

Sina mirrors her smile, a bit apologetically, since she can see that Beleth wasn't entirely comfortable with the compliment. Still, they've come to a good place in the conversation. "May the Dread Wolf never catch your scent," she says quietly, with an air of wry conspiracy.

Whoops. (semi-open)

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