Benedict shakes his head, his mouth giving a little twitch, like it might shift to a smile or a grimace but does neither.
"After-- everything with Atticus," here he unconsciously touches his neck, where the poorly healed scar lies concealed under light fabric, "I had come to trust a few members of Riftwatch, and they vouched for me. I was allowed to move about somewhat freely, as long as I was helpful. And then, when my mother bargained with Riftwatch to get me back, I thought it was over."

He gives another grim shake of his head, still staring at that rock, as though registering Stephen's presence might make him lose his nerve.

"--but she sent me right back. Punished the Templars, to keep them off me, but insisted I return to join willingly. To make my way, she said, and to learn a thing or two about the world, after I'd failed so utterly with Atticus. I,"

Maker, how long ago was this, and yet how raw it feels, how vile to say it aloud,

"I didn't know she was already aligned with the Venatori. She wanted me to write to her. About what I was doing here." He rests his face in one hand. World's Most Oblivious Spy Has Regrets