That struck him oddly, but not in a bad way. Cade was a private person, and what he had done to himself in secret for so long had never felt like anyone's business but his and the Maker's. Still, the whole purpose of it was accountability. About not feeling lost and left to his own devices, even in the absence of attention from superior officers. That Nerva asked this of him, without expressly forbidding it, conveyed that she was taking it seriously. Taking him seriously. That was unusual.

He watched her for several moments out of the corner of his eye, thinking, steeling himself, and hesitantly allowing the smallest tendril of trust to extend itself toward Nerva.
"...I have felt the need since that day in the Emprise," he told her, in nearly a whisper. He had spent the better part of a week longing to beat himself bloody, to feel the release of pain in reminder of the suffering and inconvenience he had caused.