"You learn to understand what you are listening to," Benevenuta says, frankly. "To make no simple assumptions, to consider a perspective not your own and that has nothing to do with you, and understand what such a person might value. What drives them. Why they choose as they do for themselves."

It's easy to be angry at things that seem opposed; it's harder to realise most of the time, it isn't even opposition. It's a different priority, and it's not always wrong.