faderift | The Annulment at Dairsmuid

Entry tags:

The Annulment at Dairsmuid

WHO: Araceli Bonaventura, Korrin Ataash, Malcolm Reynolds, The Outsider, Aleron Darton, Kas, Anders, Malcolm Reed, James Norrington, Ellana Ashara, James Kirk; Rivaini npcs
WHAT: The Annulment at Dairsmuid; arriving at Rivain to meet with Araceli and her mage contacts that requested aid from Templars hunting them down. When Araceli goes to bring the group to her contacts, they're informed that the Templars have abducted the mages forcing the team to return to the Circle at Dairsmuid to rescue them and kill the Templars responsible
WHEN: 15th-20th Solace
WHERE: Rivain; Dairsmuid
NOTES: OOC posts here and here, sending crystal announcement; violence, discussions of annulment, probably going to need warnings for language; I'll edit as I go, if people can bring things to my attention, I would appreciate it
Starters will all be below, subjects in headers

We of the Dairsmuid Circle wait now, behind barricades. I have sent word to our brother and sister mages of this outrage. When they break through, we will not die alone.

—Final journal entry of First Enchanter Rivella, slain in Dairsmuid, 9:40 Dragon

Contents;
Arrival at Dairsmuid
Meeting the Mage Contacts
Team Dungeon Crashers
Team Templar Crushers
Aftermath of the Rescue
Timestamp; Dairsmuid Adventures
Epilogue

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He finds James later, by accident, coming upon the Templar praying. Anders considers walking away and leaving the man to it. James could be here for some time, after all. But there's something that may need to be said, and Anders isn't in any sort of rush. He walks far enough away that James won't need to fear being overheard, but still lingers in sight, pulling a small book out from his pouch and sitting on a log to read.

It is a good hour, before James finishes his prayers. He snuffs out the candle, puts the statue away as carefully as if it were Andraste herself, and then rose to his feet.

He turned around and then jerked in surprise, to find Anders waiting for him. Something in his expression tightened -- before he exhaled heavily, "I am too tired to fight with you now, Anders. Can we postpone this argument until the morrow?"

He waited patiently, raising an eyebrow at the question. It... was a fair one, considering their last exchange. Anders exhaled as well.

"Incidentally, I find myself too tired for an argument as well. I'd like to talk. Though I can't promise it will be the easiest topic." He gestured to another log nearby. "You can take a seat or walk away, whichever you prefer."

The look that James gave him was nothing short of suspicious -- but good manners and a reminder of Pel's words to him made him move to take the log offered. He folded himself down, weariness etched in every line on his face. Today had not been an easy day.

"What precisely did you wish to discuss?" He asked mildly, folding his hands in front of him.

"The distinction you seemed to be making back there, between Templars and criminals." A beat. "I understand why you did it. But I'd like to talk with you about it, and why that distinction could be dangerous. If you'll hear me out."

He keeps his voice calm and even, trying to make sure the Templar knows he means no offense.

"I know it feels important to make sure people know you're not the same as themm and as Pel speaks in your favor, I believe you're not. But part of how Kinloch Hold and the Gallows went so poorly, how Dairsmuid fell apart, is because of Templar blind faith - blind faith in their brethren. The Templars around them couldn't be abusive, because they knew these Templars. Only other people, criminals, not true Templars, were abusive in their eyes. Those men down there were Templars. The men who made mages Tranquil in Kirkwall so they could enjoy themselves were Templars. Those who kicked for fun in Kinloch Hold, or swung, or spilled a mage's food for days on end, were Templars. And the ones who were good in those Circles had too much faith in it being justified to question what was going on."

Well yes, this conversation was going to go just as badly as he thought. Just not for the reasons he believed. It was like Anders had taken the blade and stabbed it directly into the black heart of James's one doubt, the one thing he had to keep secret within himself to be able to keep going. Put the blade in and twisted.

If he were a more open man, he might have wept.

Instead, he looked at his hands, and said in the most dead tone, "I know. I know they are Templars. I know that they did everything they did, under the sword and shield I have carried for almost half of my life. I know these were abuses that I never saw, for all my time in Ostwick, but I cannot un-see them now. I cannot un-see any of this. I cannot make it better, and I cannot atone for it. All I can do is ... serve something that is so tainted that it will slowly kill me inside. But serve it I must, because it is the only way it will ever be clean again."

Sacrifice. It was all about sacrifice. He would wear the shield and the sword all his life and never take another step out of bounds, to bring the Order back, even if it had broken his faith in the Order. It had not broken his faith in doing the right thing.

He blinked.

"That's... slightly more dramatic than I expected." Slowly kill him inside? Can't make it better? Then again, Norrington had worked closely with Alayre from all Anders had heard, and Alayre had been dramatic as well.

"You cannot un-see what goes on, but that's not a bad thing. Having open eyes means that things can be made better. But it also means you can't close them again with differentiation. It means you face it." Maybe this is a part of why people had been upset he isn't dead, though. If Norrington doesn't think he can ever atone, why would he think Anders could? "You work at fixing it, because otherwise it won't be fixed. It will continue to be hatred and oppression and cruelty, because those who delight in their own pleasures will have free reign."

James arched an eyebrow at him, before he snorted softly, "Tell me, Anders, how did it feel to fight for years in a cause you believed in, only to be told that it is all things wrong in Thedas? I think we both know how you reacted to that particular gem. I think 'dramatic' might be the lesser of two evils."

He rubbed his face with one hand, before he shook his head. "I can do all those things, Anders, and I will. I have. I know what evil has been done. I know I work to fix it, because out there are many more little boys and girls who were like Cullen, like Ingrid, and like me, who wanted to make the world a better place." His green eyes grew sharp, "It doesn't mean that I have to like being considered no better than the murderers and rapists of Kirkwall. Or of this place."

Edited 2016-07-27 01:55 (UTC)

"Please. Being told something would have meant anyone in authority cared enough to respond to me, by letter or verbally, after seven years of trying to gain any ear, any port in the oncoming storm." There was a little amusement in his voice, though it faded as he continued. "My cause was ignored. Mage lives mattered not at all. There's not that much of a parallel there... but I do see your point when it comes to declaring there's no way to atone."

Anders took a breath, and forced himself to ignore the Cullen comparison just this once. "And I understand the other. Being blamed for more than your actions or inaction is... not easy to work through. But you represent something. As do I. All that can be done is to work for the better and move forward, and hope that in time change comes."

Another breath. "And it's change that involves freedom and choice, rather than being rounded up. Making the world a better place includes treating mages as equals, and never calling for their slaughter again." Cullen.

"I have no problems with mages being seen as equals. Just as long as mages agree to be equal, and not walk normal people around on their magical leashes." Is James's firm statement, "If mages want the chance to prove they can handle themselves out in the real world, so be it. But they need to be responsible for all that occurs when that freedom is granted. Up to and including strict magical codes."

He huffed out a sigh, looking out to the water, "After all, as a templar -- we must do the same thing. Hold ourselves to a higher standard, and stay with it. Remove those who do not follow those tenants, those who cannot act morally and ... and with all due consideration that we are all human beings here, not demons waiting to happen, or toys to be played with."

"Equality does not involve proving we have a right to be seen as people. We are out here right now. We are living, breathing, talking, and we are as any other. We do not need a chance to prove ourselves." He keeps his voice calm and even. "We do not need strict laws. We do not choose this. Templars do. You speak of all due consideration that we are human beings, or elves, or qunari, and suggest we must earn what everyone else is granted simply by being born?"

Anders shakes his head, but his voice stays gentle. He truly doesn't want an argument, just a discussion. "You choose to be a Templar and to follow a specific code. You choose to be a part of a group with standards you have chosen. Mages have no option. We should not be forced into one specific lifestyle because of the fears of other people. Look around Skyhold. There are mages who are living, handling life, and no mage is trying to put someone else on a leash." Or they aren't outside of the bedroom.

"We are normal people. We are people, Norrington. Not seizing power, simply trying to seize life. We should be allowed to be ordinary. It's all that many of us want. If a mage wants to work at a brothel, that's their choice. If they want to be a farmer, that's their choice. Any life they choose is theirs. They could be like Vivienne and seek power and authority, or like Adelaide and want to research and teach." He can't keep some passion out of his voice. As much as he despises Vivienne, her chance to do as she pleases is what he stands for.

"Have mages live by the laws everyone else does. Treat them under the law like everyone else, rather than hold them to an impossible or even higher standard simply for something they cannot change. That's what I seek. That..." He exhales, deflating a little, and his shoulders slump. "That was all I wanted."

For his people to not be slaughtered again, and to have the freedom everyone else did. To not lose the people they love because they don't have rights. Karl is gone, along with so many others, and all of this has to be for something. It needs to be.

He sighed quietly, before he folds his hands together look over at Anders, "Elves, qunari, and non-magical human beings cannot rip people apart with their minds, Anders. Are you saying that we should not be afraid of what could happen? That has happened?"

He is quiet for a moment, before he answers soberly, "They are also becoming abominations, Anders. I won't deny them what is ... well. What is right. But I need to know what you all are going to do besides a promise not to use your abilities against people. I don't deny mages the right to defend themselves, especially against those who would do them harm. I want to know what will happen to the mages who don't just want their freedom. They want whatever they can take -- and they can take a lot more than some bandits with a sword, Anders."

His gaze dropped, his voice quiet, "I've seen what happens when mages run unbridled. You want them to be able to be normal people -- farmers, and shopkeepers, but what happens when they want to be kings, and queens? What happens when being normal isn't enough?"

A soft snort, a quiet and tired amusement, "Will you call foul on the people who don't want their child set on fire for stealing an apple, or a piece of candy?" He shook his head a little, "Vivienne understands this - she understands that she can have power, but she has to give up something in turn. She knows that magic in the wrong hands is as dangerous as a sword. Maybe it doesn't have to be your freedom, or your ... minds, but normal laws are not going to be enough. Surely you see that too."

Vivienne trades others for her comfort. But Anders does not want an argument. He wants a discussion, which means he won't say what he thinks of her.

"Look to the Dalish. Who have mages with power and authority, involved in day to day affairs, training, living, and not overrunning their people with abominations. They treat their mages like everyone else, and so their mages act like everyone else. You want to talk about people who want whatever they can take?" He nods his head back in the direction that they came from. "Those Templars. The templars of Kirkwall, many Templars in Kinloch Hold. They didn't need magic. Simply authority given them to do as they pleased, because of that fear of mages."

Anders crosses his arms. "What mage has set fire to a child for stealing something? You put up a flimsy example because you're afraid. And it's all right to be afraid. But strength is found in overcoming that fear and working to find a better solution, rather than holding down an entire people group, Norrington. Every person I've known, except for one, who has gone abomination has done it out of fear, out of being backed into a corner, out of running out of options simply because they're a mage and people are trying to take them into custody or kill them. I've known one mage who wanted power, and... yes. He was twisted and evil. But the mages around him would have turned him in if not for the risk of being implicated and punished as well. That's how Uldred got to the position he was in - fear of the rest of us being hurt, accused of blood magic, beaten, thrown into solitary confinement, executed."

Another shake of his head. "If you believe in the Maker, then how can you believe magic can be put into the wrong hands? Laws against murder, against destruction of property, against all of the regular things, would suffice," a beat, a very wry twist of his voice, "most of the time."

For everything else, there's the Grey Wardens and Hawke.

"If they want to be kings or queens, what if that's the Maker's will? What if someone with a good, fair mind and a grasp of politics was born with magic? Why is that wrong? There are plenty of people who haven't had magic who have made awful rulers. There are plenty without magic who have seized thrones by cruel or unlawful means. Mages are people, which means there are the good as well as the bad. You cannot lock all weapons away from people who would harm with them, because there are also those who would do good and weapons are needed. Just the same, you should not lock away all mages because there are a few who are bad people, because imagine how much good we can do simply existing in the world. Again, look at Skyhold. Look at the health of the general population, the state of our soldiers, the way lives are improving."

"Take your fear. Apply compassion to it. Be done with cages and with Tranquility, and treat us as people as Skyhold does, and the world will change for the better."

"I admire the Dalish a great deal, especially with how they deal with their mages without needing a templar." He arched an eyebrow, "But you know that they only keep so many mages in a clan, yes? That some mages are left out on in their own in the woods -- and those are usually children. I sincerely doubt you want us to leave a mage child out at the crossroads if there are already two mages in his village."

A deep sigh, "What those templars did was wrong - how they twisted our purpose to their own fears was wrong - I cannot and will not deny it. But I cannot say I do not think we have a purpose. If not your prison guards, then as warriors of the Maker who can take care of demons and abominations, and blood mages."

Another moment, before he looked up at Anders, "I am afraid. I have been afraid of mages since I was ten years old. That I have come this far should tell you something of the mages I have known, that I consider friends ... even brothers. Now I do not fear the individual, but yes, I have my fear still too. I ... cannot tell you I will ever let that go. But I will tell you this - for the one mage that you have known? I have known dozens, a hundred or more who were that corrupt, that evil. Are they rare? Yes. In the end mages are just human, and they want human things. To be loved, to be safe, to have food and shelter and a place in the world. I would give them that. But I would also ask them because they are special, to understand special circumstances."

He gives Anders a dry look, arching an eyebrow, before he states calmly, "Do you know there are no laws against blood magic? It is considered against Chantry law, true, but not everyone follows the Chantry. There is not a single country in all of Thedas that has a law against blood magic - it was assumed because the Circles would stand forever that we would never need one. But here we are - the mages have their freedom and they want to live amongst everyone else -- and there's no .... safety net. There's no order to it, and yes, Anders ... people are scared."

He shrugs his shoulders, "If they are born to be kings and queens, so be it. Blood made them noble and magical, so let them rule. But are you to protect the mages who would take a throne just like a bandit - or worst, like Loghain? And let's just flip that around - what if a mage does have the blood -- but now there are no laws in place to guarantee a mage that right? Just because he is a mage. What if some despot takes it into his head to use mages as weapons with a threat against their families? That was the purpose of Templars as well, Anders. The templars of Ostwick, of Tantervale, of so many other places - to protect mages not from themselves, but from people who could easily use them."

Now he is the one who is looking plaintively at Anders, "If you want mages to be safe, if you want them to live free, if you want to govern yourselves -- then it is you all who must decide how magic will be practiced. What the laws of magic will be. Before every scared peasant with a pitchfork and a copy of the Chant of Light comes to knock down some poor mage bastard's house. Freedom costs something, Anders, and that cost is laws to protect those who cannot protect themselves. The Free Marches is a patchwork of such agreements."

"And do you know why many clans kick out extra mages? So the Templars don't come after everyone. They live in fear because of you. And I hope you've considered the fact that the Circles use blood magic in your laws against it, speaking of fears due to Templars."

His look is equally as dry. "Phylacteries are, and always have been, blood magic. Templars were allowed to use it against mages, but Maker forbid a mage consider it. Don't get me wrong." He holds up a hand for a moment, in an attempt to forestall any lecture on blood magic he doesn't need to hear because he agrees with it. "I am against blood magic. I find its very usage troubling. But for the Templars to seek to forbid it completely is hypocritical in the extreme."

Even more hypocritical when he's fairly certain most know what Merrill is but don't care because she's Merrill.

"If you want Templars to continue to exist, then exist as this separate protection force. Serve in the Chantries, be called out for issues with law breaking done by mages or against mages. You'll still have jobs and your Order, you can still protect. And mages will still have freedom. Let them follow the laws of the land, and you hold everyone to it. Including if they try to steal a throne, or someone tries to steal it from them. If a law against blood magic comes to be, then you enforce that. If it does not, then you do not. But Templars should not have say in the laws governing mages when they've used so much against us, including blood magic."

"The laws and the Templars will protect those who cannot protect themselves. The Templars will not be jailers or slavers, they can simply be a Chantry force meant to serve all. The cost of freedom will be that the Templars will have authority in a trial, will have authority when it comes to breaking apart conflicts or hunting down criminals... but they will be actual criminals, and not simply people who have harmed no one who want a life of their own."

There's an earnestness in his voice, a hope that maybe Norrington hears what's being said and can agree. Blood magic is divisive, but what about the mages that don't use the blood of others? There's no denying that there's power in blood, and if the careful mages teach other mages, then there doesn't have to be a demon involved. Does that mitigate the issues? He doesn't know. He can't say.

"Where they are taken in, fed, clothed, and educated." He sighed, before he rubbed his hands over his face, "You realize we are simply discussing the same crucial difference that we have been arguing ourselves for months and to Thedas for years. Mages are human, templars are human. None of us are perfect and none of us are all good or all evil. We live in fear of one another because of what the other side can do. That doesn't give the Templars the right to abuse the mages, and that does not give the mages to use their magic not to protect themselves but to kill. To murder."

He shook his head a little, "I am not speaking of that kind of blood magic - although I will not argue the irony. The Dalish are, again, a perfect example of how blood magic can be used safely and responsibly, and the Templars, the Chantry, and the Circle are not. But the kind of blood magic like I have seen done in that small village in Orlais? That we saw coming from the Venatori? The kind that killed my family - " He cut himself off, "That's dangerous, Anders. Mind control, calling demons, creating flesh golems ...if you don't want us having a say in your laws, fine, but we need to have at least one. One that states blood magic to be used against other people is wrong, and will not be tolerated. If you don't want us non-magical folk making them, then you have to start making them yourselves, and soon. While the Inquisition still has influence."

He stopped, before he looked almost wistful. "... That is what I hoped the Templars could become. What I hoped mages would agree to. In time. Justice, not ... not this filthy mess we have to clean up after our brothers and sisters in the cloth. Something clean, and good, and right. Something where none of us are fettered to the past."

"For as long as our generation lives, there will be fetters to the past. Anchors and chains and scars, literal and figurative." There's regret in his voice now. "For every Vivienne who wishes to return to her cage because comforts were given there as well as pretenses of power, there are five who have nearly been broken, who hurt and don't know how to go on, and there is one me."

Anders looks up. "There is one who has crossed lines that are impossible to uncross, that there is no atonement for, because they lost all hope, lost all... everything. There are scars from this on mages and others alike, and there will be for another fifty years. But perhaps, perhaps after that..."

He exhales. "I believe all can agree that blood magic used against others is wrong, and blood magic that uses the blood of others is also wrong. I cannot see anyone I know disagreeing." Though he can't say that he saw this, either, talking with Norrington, discussing the future. All he'd thought would come from this was, at best, an agreement that denying what had gone wrong within the Templar order would be harmful for everyone. This is a surprise, and a welcome one.

"And if a new path can be set, the Templar order serving all rather than ruling over mages, hurtful blood magic outlawed, and the chains broken, we could find a future for the next generations that is not filled with pain and fear."

"Then I suppose we can hope our grandchildren can live without fear, because we certainly won't." He gave Anders a long look, "Yet those one in five have the right to live like that if they want to, Anders. The freedom is the right to choose what they want, not what you want for them."

He paused, and then added quietly, "It's the right of the one tho look for atonement again. You can always seek forgiveness, if you really want it."

"I can." His voice is quiet, "I've seen it, far too many times. We have good people in the Inquisition, but there are plenty of blood mages out there. That is why I want the law." He held up his hand, "Just because I want it, doesn't mean you have to do it. I merely offer wisdom from experience."

A soft snort, "... I just have no idea how we get there."

He's quiet for a very long few moments before exhaling, and now there's sadness in his voice. "If anyone chooses a cage for themselves, they can have it. All I ask is that they not try to drag others with them. I fear she will. That's her powerbase, mages under her. And with so many afraid to hope for fear of it being taken from them again... They're vulnerable. They've lost everything before."

There's a lot his terrified of. Vivienne's angle is one of them, snatching mages' hopes away before they can even start to dream.

"And I fear you're wrong. I see it in the eyes even of those who are willing to work with me. There will not be forgiveness, and I've no right to seek it. I'll do as I can for what time I have left, but there will be nothing gained by it on my account." There are some things he must cling to for his own sanity's sake, that more were saved that night than died, that he helped free mages by it, but he cannot say it was the right thing to do. With Justice gone he has lost his certainty.

"I'll work on the future. I need to. I'll encourage mages, help them figure out how to stand on their own, what it means to be free, and I honestly believe that will cut down on the number of blood mages dramatically. I do believe that you've seen many who attacked. But I wonder how many of those acted out of fear and desperation, because of the armor you wore, rather than out of a desire for power or harm. When there are options rather than corners and cages, blood magic is no longer a last hope. The risk of using it becomes greater than the risk without it."

Listen Anders, he'll take as much guff as you can give him, but you don't speak that way about Vivienne. "There is half as many who never wanted to leave the Circles to begin with. Vivienne is just letting them know that they can have the safety of the Circles, the protection of the Templars -- but without being trapped. We can all learn from our mistakes, and we can also choose the life we want to live and not have it ... thrust upon us."

He shook his head, "You weren't in the Ostwick Circle. We co-existed peacefully. Our mages were never mistreated, never harmed. We followed the lead of the First Enchanter on which mages should be watched more carefully, and she taught us - me - that we need not resort to violence when words would work twice as well. She was ... murdered by one of her own students. Her throat was slit right before my eyes. That woman will never find forgiveness in the eyes of the Maker, because she will never regret what she did for 'freedom'. You are at least trying to make up for your crimes and perhaps you won't find ready forgiveness here but ... in the Maker's eyes, in Andraste's eyes, you've already been forgiven."

He sighed softly, folding his hands together. "I shall as well. I will be bringing children into this world and I ... I do not want them to live in the same fear as I did growing up. I want them to treat mages and templars with equal due respect."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Annulment at Dairsmuid

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject