The only 'wonder' of Thedas is how everything got to be so very brown.

[dwarfing]

WHO: Shale & Open
WHAT: Catch-all for all your grumpy golem needs.
WHEN: April
WHERE: Courtyard/Warden Camp
NOTES: Grumpy statues and probably bird harm

Courtyard

When not out murdering bears with scouts or anything in general with Zevran, the large golem could be found in the Skyhold Courtyard, right by the stairs to the upper area with the entrance to the main keep and the sparring ring. Nothing else seemed to hold for the weight of them, so Shale was forced to stay put and watch people. Something they had quite enough of in Honnleath, thank you very much.

A golem isn't quite what you'd expect to see in Skyhold, however - at least not one without a control rod - and by now Shale really wished they had a sign to say that they were a free and thinking being, considering how many asked. Their patience was thinner than the Veil by a Rift right now, and it showed.

(They're still not sorry for the man they slapped across the yard for trying to snap off one of their precious crystals. At least he didn't die, and rumors not to piss the golem off had spread quickly.)

Unfortunately that also meant that Shale was very alone and endlessly bored. The Blight had been a lot more interesting than just waiting around all the time for people to get their asses in gear and go punch an evil Magister.

Come bother them?

Warden Camp

At other times, they made their way over to the Warden Camp to bother the people there... or to just snark at Alistair, who knows. Generally not the most sociable of creatures, Shale still felt the most at ease with the old companions from the Blight, and that also meant meeting more crazy people that knew Jonas.

...and them meeting Shale.

Wildcard

Fight them? Compliment them? Flirt? Sarcasm contest?

Comments

[chainlightning]

She's heard worse. In fact, Merrill laughs, smiling up at the golem with a little shrug.

"I hear that a lot."

Oftentimes in much less polite terms. It isn't usually because she has decided to give a golem a bath, either. Still, the golem isn't exactly normal either, in comparison to either golems or members of the Inquisition.

"I've always figured there are worse things to be."

[dwarfing]

"It is not wrong." There were far worse things to be than a little strange. (Like being a bird.)

Honestly, the elf was growing on Shale, and not only because of the wash and the company. She seemed a little odd, yes, but considering the people the golem usually hung around with, that was pretty much a requirement. No, it was more the fact that they were talking about nothing.

It was making the stillness seem a little less still, no matter how useless the topic was.

"It has made me very shiny." Shale finally adds as Merrill reaches the thick legs and feet. "Thank you."

[chainlightning]

If there is one thing Merrill can say for sure, it's that she is not a bird.

"You're very welcome! You catch the light wonderfully."

The gratitude is nice, more than, especially since Shale hadn't asked her to do it in the first place. She smiles up at Shale for a moment before looking back down to finish cleaning.

"If you'd ever like it done again, I'd be happy to do it."

[dwarfing]

The sparkling was undeniable, especially if they moved their arm in such a way that the sun hit the green crystals just right. It would be a lie to say that the golem didn't enjoy that sparkle just as much as they liked crushing enemies.

"Why?" They ask, and this time it's only curiosity without the underlying suspicion. Why would the elf be happy? Was she as bored as they were?

[chainlightning]

That's definitely part of it. "I like to keep busy. And if I can keep busy by helping people, then that seems- well, it seems like the best way for me to keep busy. I like to do it, and besides, it's not like we can't use all the help we can get."

Corypheus, after all, broke the Veil. That's kind of a big deal.

[dwarfing]

"Such a strange little elf," Shale muses out loud, but they don't actually sound like they mean it in a bad way.

"If it wants me to crush something for it, maybe I will." That, if anything, was good praise from the large golem - it was willing to go back on their word of not letting this mean a favor.

[chainlightning]

Merrill flashes a smile up at the golem, pausing to wring some of the muddy water out of her rag.

"Do you like to crush things? I'm not very good at it, personally." As if that weren't obvious.

[dwarfing]

Shale nods at that. "It is very satisfying to crush one's enemies. If a little messy at times." They make a fist, like they're emphasizing the love for smashing foes. "It is enjoyable. Does it not like to destroy its enemies?"

The elf seemed really soft. Did it even fight?

[chainlightning]

"I definitely like not letting them be able to hurt me or my friends again," Merrill says, rubbing at her chin. Does that count? She supposes it's close enough.

"But I've never really learned how to- crush things. Well, I can throw magic rocks at them, I suppose."

[dwarfing]

Shale nods sagely at that. Merrill is quite right on that part, and the golem grind their fists together a little bit as if they're longing to punch some enemies. (For the sake of comrades or not.)

The next part, however, makes them curious. "...magic rocks?"

[chainlightning]

"Magic rocks. Well- I suppose the rock isn't necessarily magic? But it is, a bit, because it can do even more damage than a regular rock that was thrown. And magic is used to throw it."

Wow, what a great explanation. Sorry, Shale.

[dwarfing]

The golem makes a disapproving sound at that, shaking their head. "Mages are now making rocks magical." There's a long-suffering sigh, because honestly. "At least it is using it to hit people. That is very appropriate."

Shale kind of prefers throwing rocks instead of magicking them, though. It just... felt wrong. Too close to the Anvil stuff for their comfort.

[chainlightning]

She's- not quite sure how to react to that, but Merrill nods. "Mostly just the Dalish, I think. We're rather used to rocks and plants. And it's very useful, as far as hitting people goes!" It certainly packs more of a physical punch than other things she might throw, like her own fists.

But there's a more pressing question, here. "Are you not comfortable around mages?"

[dwarfing]

Shale frowns a bit and cross their now squeaky-clean arms with shining crystals. Merrill really did an amazing job on them, they had to admit that.

"I was owned by a mage for a while," they say with a bit of bitterness in their tone. "He enjoyed controlling me, treating me like a tool." Wilhelm, the only person they actually didn't refer to as an 'it'.

[chainlightning]

There is immediately a gasp, one hand coming up to cover her mouth. "How horrible!"

In some people, it might sound false or over-dramatic. With Merrill- well, it mostly sounds earnestly upset. Maybe still overly dramatic for Shale's tastes, but certainly genuine.

"I'm glad you got away from him."

[dwarfing]

This elf really was such a strange one, wasn't she? Merrill honestly reminded Shale of how Leliana used to be, and that was... interesting. Maybe a little sad.

"I think I killed him." They say, almost flippantly. "But he must have deactivated me, because I could no longer move. I stood in that cursed place for three decades before the Warden freed me."

There's a big, pointedly irritated shrug. "So no. I do not like mages... but it is not so bad."

[chainlightning]

If it makes you feel better, Shale, Merrill is probably not going to become any Spymaster any time soon.

"Three decades- goodness! That must have been awful, I'm so sorry." She can hardly fault Shale for killing him when he had the golem imprisoned, used as a slave -- when he was able to continue torment even after death.

"Well, I'm glad you don't think I'm not that level of bad, at least; what a horrid man!" He probably never even polished Shale's crystals. "Just tell me if I ever do anything that bothers you, okay?"

Probably doesn't need to be said -- Shale seems pretty blunt.

[dwarfing]

"It was very boring," they admit with a shrug. "...and there were birds."Who knew you could say 'birds' with the same level of disgust as 'maggot-eaten rotted body parts'? Shale's stance on the creatures is quite clear.

Still... the elf was really cheery and sweet and odd and they're honestly not sure where to place her at all. Maybe they liked Merrill. Just a little. For now.

"Does it wish to own me and make me carry it when its feet are tired? No? Then it is not bothering me." Oh look, Merrill is not bothering them. Amazing!

[chainlightning]

Note to self: no birds around Shale. She can handle that.

"Well, if you'd ever like to talk or do anything, you can always come find me! I usually stay down at the Warden camp, or I have a sending crystal you can find me on."

Obviously not bothering = friends now.

[dwarfing]

That's not quite how it works, Merrill... but it's an amiable coexistence, at least?

"I will remember this," they say with a slight turn of their head towards the gate that lead out of Skyhold and to the Warden Camp. They spent a lot of time there, anyway.

Loitering in the courtyard was a horrible reminder of standing still for thirty years, after all.

"It did good." Washing, and all that. They're quite possibly the cleanest golem in history. "It should wash itself now."

[chainlightning]

That's close enough.

Glancing down at herself, Merrill realizes -- possibly for the first time -- that she's now covered in mud herself. "Oh!" Laughing, surprised, she nods.

"Yes, I probably should. Well- I'm glad you enjoyed it! And I'll see you around, yes?"

Looking quite a bit shinier than before, too.

[dwarfing]

"...yes," Shale replies, and then moves over to stand by the stairs again (a little bit away from the mud puddle they had made). "I will be here."