faderift | A Cruel Twist of Fate [closed]

[Whatever she had been expecting, this clearly wasn't it. Nerva stopped, looking at the laid out meal, clearly meant for two and no more than that. So she didn't answer as quickly as she should have - as she could have. She just stared at it for a long moment, and then looked at Fate.]

Ah- I'm sure it's- you- a candle?

I generally wouldn't suggest trying to eat the candle.

[It's spoken wryly before his expression becomes a little more soft.]

Please, sit. I think it's perhaps time you and I spoke.

[It had, of course, been a stupid, stupid comment, but even after her discussions with Sera and Zevran she hadn't been expecting a candlelit dinner, and her tongue had gotten tied.

She didn't trust it to untie itself, so instead of speaking she just nodded, her brow furrowed deeply, and then carefully sat down next to the meal. Silence wouldn't work, however, so after a moment she managed to hopefully untie her tongue enough to not embarass herself.]

I - was also hoping. That we might speak. [But some things are more important than others, and she gave a slightly worried glance at your hand.]

Are you - alright?

[Tobrevas debates a moment, then decides that honesty is the best decision right now. His hand isn't what he hoped to discuss out here, but she asked.]

I will be. I'm not thrilled to have a mark. I'm hoping to do some research and see if it can be removed, but I'm not going to be taking any bets on it. And I'm a betting man, as you know.

What's his name-- Solas? He seems to know a great deal about it. I might talk to him a bit, see what I can learn. For now, though, there is another matter I wanted to discuss with you. My hand not being entirely involved in the topic.

[She doesn't like it, but she doesn't argue. She doesn't know anything about Solas beyond the fact that Cassandra seemed to trust him, which was enough. It was safer, to talk about something obvious, and painful, and straightforward.

It was not going to be so easy to talk about candlelit dinners for two.

She let out a breath, nodding. She wouldn't ask him again, until there was more to say about it. To the rest...]

Speak, then. [It wasn't harsh. She said it with a surprisingly quiet voice, her eyes raising to meet his, and hold them.]

[Were this any other number of people, it might be easier to address this. But with Nerva, he realizes how much he wants this to go right for both of them, and how much she matters to him. He wants, most of all, to make her happy.

And it'll be a sure adventure to find out how.]

Nerva, at any point if I am wrong please feel free to correct me. But I don't think I'm wrong about this.

I wanted to have you out here with just me because of how much you mean to me. Not just as a friend. But because of how much I've come to care about you, and that you have mutual feelings.

That I love you, Nerva.

[Quietly, he hopes to himself that he isn't wrong, that he can count on his instincts, he can count on Zevran's observations, and how insistent Cassandra had been about this.]

[Nerva could often be unnerving. She had the tendency of holding eye contact too long, of not blinking, or moving. As intimidating as it could be, it was rarely actually meant to be so, rather than a byproduct of her thoughts - careful, meticulous, and deliberate.

It was extremely hard, to be careful or deliberate about this. She didn't realise that she was holding a breath until she released it, her chest clenched so tightly it was almost painful, the expression on her face so furrowed and concerned that it was far from an accurate assessment of her feelings.

Instead, it was every carefully constructed argument, every carefully built wall, crumbling far too easily.]

You're not wrong. [The words were too late, probably, to completely override the silence that had come before them, but as soon as they were out she was reaching, hand sliding to take his (the one that didn't glow with that unearthly green light).

It was probably a moment where she should say something else, should admit her own feelings, should immediately tell him the hundreds of reasons those feeling were a terrible, terrible idea and that both of them should immediately give them up, but--

Instead, she leaned over the carefully prepared but untouched meal, and with her other hand curving around the back of his neck, drew him into a long-yearned for kiss.]

[He wasn't sure which way this would go, that maybe she would say he wasn't wrong but they couldn't do anything because of-- who knows, political reasons? They should be opposing forces, and here he is opening his heart to her, hoping for the best.

Instead, at long last, he feels himself pulled into a kiss. He's far from unfamiliar with one, but here and now, it's different with his heart put into it. Tobrevas closes his eyes and leans in, feeling her lips on his.

At long last indeed.]

[She's not unfamiliar with kisses either, but this was - far different. There was so much more at stake, and she could feel it, like a weight in her chest, if only the wings would stop fluttering in there.

She lingers on his lips, one hand around his and the other against his neck, each breath drawn long, to suppress the shudder that came with them.

He wasn't wrong.

He was far from wrong.]

... And I love you.

Well. [He breathes softly, smiling at her.]

That's a relief. It would have been very confusing if you kissed me and said you didn't.

[Tobrevas squeezes her hand gently.] What is it you want out of the two of us? I don't want to assume anything.

I wanted to be clear. [She pushed down the embarrassment, and kept herself from sighing.]

I-- [She hesitated there, finally pulling back far enough that she could meet his eyes.]

... I don't know. ... I've been telling myself for days - weeks - that I didn't want anything.

[Or had been trying to, at least. Her hand slipped down, but the other still lay in his.]

... You have to be aware that there are - multiple reasons that this is a terrible idea.

I'm teasing you, Nerva. I know. I mean no harm by it.

[At times, he knows his jokes can go awry, so he figures he'd be clear as well.]

I'm astoundingly great at coming up with terrible ideas and then pursuing them. Story of my life, actually.

Yes, I'm... aware. You have understandable feelings about mages. I respect that. But you have to know I would not do anything that would hurt you.

That's not-- [She cuts off, because she doesn't know how to word what she wants to say, or... really knows whether or not she wants to say it.]

It-- has been a long time. Since I felt that way, about you. That's not - that's not my concern. I know you wouldn't hurt me. [Her face falls, looking slightly pained.]

Maker, I know. I am - far more worried about hurting you, than you hurting me. There are -- [But she couldn't say it. Couldn't tell him, not even then. Possibly never. So she changed tack.]

There are not many people I care about, Tobrevas. And I - I am not - it has been a very long time--

You hurting me? Nerva, I trust you. [Despite his other paranoid senses telling him not to, he's committed himself to this. To trusting her, Korrin, Zevran -- people than he thought he'd ever come around to trusting.

And to love again. To let himself. That is a wondrous feeling.]

I'm certain you can't be worse than the last person I said I was in love with, if it's any consolation. [He offers a smile.] But if...

Well, if you have reservations about this and don't wish to pursue anything, I would not tell you to do anything otherwise than your own judgment.

[As much as it hurts to say, he will refuse to force her into anything.]

[She did have reservations. Of course she had reservations, a thousand of them, each weaker than the last - each sounding like a pitiable complaint, sitting here, trying to voice them.

It was impossible, watching his face, to think any of them mattered.

Except one. And that one, she would not speak of - could not speak of. That one clawed at her chest and whispered darkly that he was wrong, that she would hurt him, that he couldn't trust her--]

Quiet. [The word wasn't for him, but it came out aloud anyway, her brow furrowed in concern.

She breathed, and raised a hand to touch his face, thumb gently running over the tattooed line.]

... I - want this. Despite everything. Is that so wrong?

What could possibly be wrong with wanting to be with someone you love, Nerva?

[Even if there were reasons, he's the worst person to ask; he will act on selfish desires, and he certainly wants this.

But not at the cost of her own feelings.

Still, Tobrevas reaches up, gently touching the hand on his face so he can lean against her palm.]

I want this, so long as you do.

[Her expression shifted - something softer, and bemused.]

Do I really need to give you a lecture on the dangers of temptation? [She was teasing, though, and it sounded more fond than anything, the fondness echoing in her chest at the same time.]

Don't ask me again, or I'll give you one. [The words were still quiet, but they were far too warm - everything was far too warm, including her face, which was tinting red.

Her body betraying her again. But this time, at least, she didn't mind.]

Least of all me. I'm a man who likes to pursue his interests. You included.

[Her hand is gently removed from his face, and he leans in to press his lips to the back of her fingers.]

With all of that in mind, say the word now and I'm yours, Nerva.

[She watched it - felt it - his lips brushing her her knuckles - and any argument she had left absolutely disappeared.

She would probably regret it later, but -

Was it so wrong, to want a smidgen of happiness?]

Go on, then. [The voice was small and the smile she gave him crinkled at her eyes, a degree of pleasure and amusement that hadn't lit her face in a long, long time.]

Be mine.

[The confirmation brings him some relief, and he returns the smile. He leans in, pressing his lips to her forehead.]

Then it's done, my dear.

[Another kiss, this time to her lips.]

A Cruel Twist of Fate [closed]

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