A Cruel Twist of Fate [closed]

[wickedchase]

WHO: Twisted Fate, Nerva, Korrin, Zevran, Beleth, Cyril, Ruby, Sera, Katniss, and special sending crystal guest star, Sina!
WHAT: A companion quest and elven relations all wrapped up in one.
WHEN: Post-Illness plot. The band of merry travelers will be gone from Clouch 23 to Clouchreach 28.
WHERE: Traveling to and from the Serpentine River.
NOTES: The plotting post.

Comments

[arlathvhen]

[ She's pretty sure that it would have been more pleasant if Zevran had just stabbed her and gotten it over with. Beleth wouldn't have complained, certainly. Anger spikes up in her, indignant and ready to yell remarks that were just as cutting. She could do it. She could use words like knives just like him. But reality kicks in, and with it, all the other emotions besides that knee-jerk urge to have the last word. And in the face of that pain that feels nearly physical (and Beleth would have preferred physical pain, honestly), the anger wanes.

She chooses the easier path, taking what Zevran slings at her with a flinch, withdrawing from him and pulling herself inward. Putting physical and mental distance between them helps. She keeps her eyes down, shaking her head. ]

No, you're not wrong. I'm sorry.

[ Should've done that before. Dumb ass. ]

[ombranera]

There will come a time when it will sink in that I am reliable in this-

[ He takes a moment to consider what he's saying and his nose wrinkles as he's struck by the sheer ridiculousness of where he is in his life, now. What he is doing, what he is saying. ]

When did I become reasonable and responsible? I suppose I must blame Alistair- only one of us must grow up at any given time and apparently it is my turn. Remind me to counteract this by leaving something disgusting in his boots when we return. [ Because that, clearly, will counteract this. Right. ] Where were we?

Ah, yes. Me. Being reliable. I said that with a straight face...

[ And he meant it. What is his life coming to? ]

A day will come when you realize that I am reliable and that you can call and be answered. I would offer to take knives to whoever let you grow and think you had to handle everything on your own but as that is likely your own mother at fault it probably would not go over so well, yes?

[arlathvhen]

[ There are very few people in Thedas who could speak like Zevran just did and not have Beleth attempt to punch them repeatedly. That Zevran could probably kill her with one hand if she tried is a fairly negligible fact. If Beleth were in a better mood, if she hadn't already assumed the role of the kicked dog, she might have even gotten after Zevran with an elbow and harsh words. As it is, his side conversation is ignored, and she just shrugs, eyes still on the ground.

But she can't just not respond. He'd probably get mad. ]

My mother--well, I guess she counts as a sort of mentor, being my mother, and my Keeper. But she didn't train me. She had to focus on training the First and Second, not bothering with nonmages. And--She isn't a bad mother. She loves me.

[ She examines her hands carefully. Very fascinating, her hands. ]

I guess you could blame my father...? If you really wanted to get into my father issues, which you shouldn't, my mother issues are already more than enough. But you can't take knives to my father, someone else already did.

[ombranera]

Beleth.

[ He can be patient- and he does try with this whole mentorship thing to be patient for those he means to mentor- but even that patience has a limit. He has not yet reached it, but the horizon, ah, she is very close. ]

Look at me.

[arlathvhen]

[ She does look, as soon as he asks, tense. She messed up. She should have just agreed, why does she keep not agreeing? What is wrong with her? Should she apologize? Would that be too much? Figuring out what she did wrong and apologizing for that specifically would probably be better than just muttering 'sorry' over and over. ]

...I got carried away. My apologies.

[ That's good. Fairly neutral, not quite saying what she got carried away with. Maybe now she can just stop spilling out her neurosis for Zevran to have to deal with. Less is more, Zevran had said so himself. ]

[ombranera]

Breathe.

[ Simple commands that are easy to follow. Apparently he has tripped some manner of spiral off without intending it- either he took an ax to an internal support that bore more weight than either of them thought or she truly has yet to recover.

Either way? They must work through it. ]

Deep and even. This is not a lesson. You are not being graded. You are not being judged. Breathe.

[arlathvhen]

[ She nods, slowly. She can do that. And she does, taking slow, deep breaths. It's hard to resist the urge to apologize more--He'd just said that she could rely on him, and she flipped out at the idea that he may be getting irritated at her. But she just keeps her mouth shut, and instead ducks her head to him, waiting for his next instructions. ]

[ombranera]

Eyes on me.

[ He reaches out to rest his hands on her shoulders- lightly, gently. It would take nothing for her to twist away if she wishes. ]

It is not personal, this assessment. It is an observation- and from our observations, what do we do? We line them up with what we know to be true and we learn from them.

[arlathvhen]

[ She doesn't twist away or move, eyes focused on him, just like he'd asked. Embarrassing, to have that little flip out right in front of him and everything. The least she could do is listen to him now. That it wasn't personal--That offers some measure of comfort. ]

It's not personal, it's an observation. I need to study it and learn from it. I understand.

[ombranera]

Another time we will discuss your family and I will attempt to understand- I have no frame of reference for these things in truth.

[ He squeezes her shoulders. ]

Now this part I am to say? This is personal. I regret that I made you feel as though you were less important- or abandoned- in the wake of Antiva. It played in to what it is that leaves you unsettled and I think we have perhaps taken a few steps backward.

[arlathvhen]

I understand. I wasn't trying to, ah. Change the subject, or unduly ruminate on my family. I can discuss it if you wish, but you needn't feel obligated.

And-- [ She ducks her head again. ]

You're right. I knew that it wasn't your fault, that you had so much going on, and-- I didn't blame you, but...I was still resentful. I knew the others needed you more, but. It didn't make me feel better. I should have trusted you more, and I should have kept my emotions under better control.

I'm sorry.

[ombranera]

You are making it very hard for me to not want to stab your parents, Beleth. Chin up.

[ If she does not manage it on her own in a moment, he actively reaches in to take her by the cheek and tip her face up so he might continue to look her in the eye. ]

It is not an obligation nor is it a burden to talk to you. I ought to have been more mindful of what I have noticed in you, your readiness to consider yourself second if ever shown even the hint of a thought someone's attention is worth being elsewhere. I know this feeling quite well, I know the signs, I did not consider it, I should have. Learning to control your emotions without rather questionable and painful techniques takes time and practice and you'd come through something quite unpleasant.

I wish I could say that it will not happen again but you and I both know it will likely only happen more and more often as the world continues to end. Such is life.

You do not need to apologize for anything save, perhaps, not telling me of the situation with Cade sooner. But that we have already discussed and you were summarily forgiven. Do not apologize, do not blame yourself, and do not dip your head.

[arlathvhen]

[ It's not easy to follow his instructions--maybe if she were in a better mood, if she hadn't just had a rather embarrassing downspiral as she thought that she had finally pushed Zevran past the limit of her neurotic bullshit that he could take. As it stands, she's in defensive mode, and that doesn't lend itself to staring people in the eye with your head held up. But she manages anyway, and as Zevran speaks, slowly the tension of forcing her position melts away. Instead, she just stares at Zevran with that same awe-struck look she gave him the first time he offered to teach her. ]

I...

Alright.

...Thank you.