Let No Soul Hunger For Justice: Nothing But The Truth

[justice_is_blond]

WHO: Adelaide, Alistair, Anders, Bethany, Nathaniel, Varric, Vasran, Velanna
WHAT: The Second Ritual
WHEN: 10th of Bloomingtide (May 10th)
WHERE: half an hour outside of Skyhold
NOTES: Plotting post.

They've kept to the same clearing as the last, because the location's good. Far enough away that no one could stumble upon them by accident, near enough in case something went seriously wrong, it works.

He has scarcely more hope this time than he did the last, but at least there's no singing involved. This can't go as strangely. In theory.

Comments

[fleurdesel]

And then he will tease me about it while we are working and that is not something I know how to handle having again just yet, if ever.

[ It's too much like before. It's too easy to forget when he's like that. ]

[pinprick]

Laughing and teasing is when you have the least to fear from him. Justice does neither. Is that what's wrong?

[fleurdesel]

Yes.

[ Spirits she can handle. A flirtatious, kind man? One she'd already come to care for, one she already liked? ]

[pinprick]

He's not a bad person. He doesn't mean it in malice. Or--

You're saying you're not ready to be his friend again.

[He shouldn't ask. He really shouldn't ask. He's a gentleman. He doesn't press an advantage when someone is vulnerable, unless they're darkspawn. But Adelaide hurts. Other mages vary in how they feel about Anders, but she has taken this all very close. And Anders cares about her.]

Would you say why?

[There. That's a little softer, maybe she won't be compelled to answer.]

[fleurdesel]

[ With a final pulse of magic, she pulls her hand away. Job done. Purpose fulfilled. She, they, could leave now. Find somewhere else to sit and hide and wait for this to blow over before people begin to ask-

Well.

Things like that. ]

...I trusted him. He broke that trust. [ That is true. That is simple. That is part of the problem, that it is not so simple, but these things are true and small. ] Is that not enough?

[pinprick]

Open and shut, then. Someone breaks your trust once, they are dead to you. Is that how it is?

Or is it just the ones who threw your life into an upheaval several years before you met them?

[fleurdesel]

I am allowed to be cautious with my regard.

[pinprick]

I'm...sorry. Forgive my presumption.

[It's hard to let go of this, because--and now he's talking again.]

I wish I could say it's because I'm only concerned about you. Or even Anders. That would make me half-righteous. I'm only meddling because seeing other people in estrangement pains me.

[oh for fuck's sake]

[fleurdesel]

By all means, have an opinion on how soon if ever I am to forgive him and welcome him back into my life. Everyone else seems to.

[ She snorts a laugh. ]

Then you ought to be pained by every mage and every family from which they came, but this is personal for you in some way and therefore worth prodding.

[pinprick]

Now who's being intrusive?

[But everyone is a hypocrite, including Nathaniel. The truth is going to come whether he trusts Adelaide not to laugh at him or not.]

My parents only cared about their children insofar as we were useful in their games against each other. Mother wanted me out of the family and mostly succeeded. The only people who loved me were my sister and my nurse, and my nurse was sent away. So when people who care about each other deliberately estrange themselves, I'm not usually impressed by the reasons. You and Anders care about each other. Is there such an excess of caring in your life that you can afford to throw swaths of it away?

[fleurdesel]

I don't-

[ Care, she wants to say. She does not care. She cannot care. There is too much at stake for her to risk with care, but the words do not come. ]

I do not-

[ Frustrated, she scowls into her wine, jaw working against the lie she can't even spare for herself. ]

It is not so simple a matter as that.

[pinprick]

Why not?

[fleurdesel]

Because he is still in the eyes of many a War Criminal. Because I am obligated to more than myself. Because everything I do in the public eye will be scrutinized and held up as a reason for or against the old systems when time comes to judge whether or not the Circles ought to be reinstated. If I lived for myself, as only a healer, as only a teacher-

Perhaps then it would matter less and be simpler. But I do not.

[pinprick]

So you're denying him, and yourself, because people who'll forget about him in a year or two have opinions.

[A sigh.]

Adelaide, everyone condemn easy targets like Anders, or even like myself. Even the evil find it an easy thing to do, condemning. There are a couple of heroes of the Fifth Blight who killed at least as many people as Anders for poorer reasons, and they are celebrated. You're not going to prove righteous intent by condemning a man who paid for his crimes well before he committed them, because the act itself isn't righteous. You can't just appear good for political purposes, or you're no better than every other hypocrite in politics. If you are good, honorable, then the rumors and whispers don't matter very much. Not everyone will know the truth, but enough people will. The right people will. And you needn't think I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm a Howe.

[fleurdesel]

If people were so quick to forget or forgive my Tower would not have been ordered annulled for fear of a repeat of Kirkwall.

[pinprick]

You blame him?

[fleurdesel]

I am mindful of the cost of our association. Even knowing him as Detlef jeopardized much of what I have fought to build for Mages in the right way, through education and service rather than blood. It takes so long to build up trust and one word to lose it.

He will not be forgotten in a few years time. He will live in infamy for that is what history does to mages. That is what we struggle against every day. Any one sin is a sin shared, and the reason why it happened matters less than that it happened at all. To them, to history it does not matter what he was trying to do- all that matters is what he did.

[pinprick]

In the meantime, there's a tormented man who's gone his whole life without love or understanding. He was tortured by the system you speak of before he did anything worse than annoy it, and when he fought back, there was a cry to put him down. Like a dog that's been beaten until it bites. What's the right thing to do about it, Adelaide?

[fleurdesel]

Cure him.

[ Wait- no. Yes? Merde. ]

You speak in the past tense, was tortured. Do you not see how Justice continues the same within his very bones? How he pushes, how he argues? I never knew him before but you cannot look at him and see someone that has found true peace.

[pinprick]

Justice is the worst thing that ever happened to him, it's true. Justice holds him hostage. Anders blames himself every time Justice acts out.

But sooner or later, one way or another, Justice will be gone, and Anders will need you more than ever, and not as his healer.

[The seed has likely been planted, and he doesn't need her admission yet. He can see her squirming, and that might be indication enough.]

The hollow left from Justice will have to be filled by something.

[fleurdesel]

[ What she needs, now, is another glass of wine. That she needs it at all is slightly concerning but it gives her time to look away as she pours, to give herself a break from Nathaniel's gaze.

Of course with an opening like that she ought to keep silent. She knows his meaning well enough. But by drink, by work, or by some weird twist of fondness she's come to harbor for him as well, Adelaide cannot quite stop herself from murmuring. ]

I'm fairly certain you've the filling covered, Nathaniel.

[pinprick]

...I can't tell if you're joking or not.

[fleurdesel]

I am quite serious.

[ Even if she's hiding a smirk in her wine. ]

[pinprick]

[He watches her closely. After a second, he gives a tentative smile.]

I am...afraid, that I'm going to make him as dependent on me as he is on Justice. It's why he needs other friends.

[fleurdesel]

He has them.

[ Fewer than he had as Detlef, yes, but he was not so isolated as Nathaniel might assume. ]

After he is rid of Justice....I will give it consideration, but I promise nothing.