Let No Soul Hunger For Justice: Nothing But The Truth

[justice_is_blond]

WHO: Adelaide, Alistair, Anders, Bethany, Nathaniel, Varric, Vasran, Velanna
WHAT: The Second Ritual
WHEN: 10th of Bloomingtide (May 10th)
WHERE: half an hour outside of Skyhold
NOTES: Plotting post.

They've kept to the same clearing as the last, because the location's good. Far enough away that no one could stumble upon them by accident, near enough in case something went seriously wrong, it works.

He has scarcely more hope this time than he did the last, but at least there's no singing involved. This can't go as strangely. In theory.

Comments

[justice_is_blond]

No.

[He doesn't begrudge her asking. He's put them on this topic, and of course she'd wonder.]

I knew the risk of discovery was getting higher by the day, but that was not my main motivation. I came to Skyhold to do a little more good, to repair just a little bit more of what I damaged, before I died. I have no desire to die, most days, [aaaaand that's not a detail he'd meant to let slip, thanks, telling the truth,] but there is nothing that I can do, no way I can serve enough, to actually atone. My death would have gone a little further toward healing. Or so I planned.

[fleurdesel]

I wasn't supposed to be fond of you.

[ She murmurs. ]

We were sold this idea- a mad apostate beyond all reason, that wished to tear the walls down around us with no regard to who the stone crushed. Propaganda, yes, but it seemed so possible. Even then we though 'oh, look at the Fereldan Circles, look at the Marcher Circles, of course they have this chaos, they have no idea how to handle one another like civil men.' You were held up as what not to be. I used you as an example of failure for my students. 'Be careful, lest you become this'.

...it was so much easier to dismiss you when you were an idea.

[justice_is_blond]

And that's how power is held. Distill a cause or person into something that everyone would have to be against, and the general public will be on your side.

[If she thinks he sounds a little bitter, she'd be right.]

They shamelessly used me for their own ends despite how it was their system...

[He trails off with another exhale.]

It begs the question of how many simplifications and outright deceptions we've accepted in our history. Though I'd certainly agree that the Ferelden and Marcher Circles were cruel.

But what I've become... At least that is not so common. How often is a spirit hurled out of the Fade? It only just so happened that there was a corpse there so he didn't fall apart right away. And then it was luck for him that he wasn't a spirit who wouldn't speak to something I deeply wanted, an end to the cages.

[fleurdesel]

This has become too serious. Drink.

[ Quiet and too somber, she nudges his hand that holds the bottle. ]

I want a few hours when I do not think about such things. When I can well and truly forget that you lied, that you are who you are. Where I can think 'oh, perhaps I could kiss him and it wouldn't be terrible' without remembering what you've done and the mess it has made in an already messy system.

I want to not care. It would be so much easier if I did not care.


So drink. Or pass the bottle over so I might drink.

[justice_is_blond]

[They need to think, they need to care, they need to work... but a few hours respite will hurt no one. Anders takes a drink straight from the bottle before offering it to her.]

I can do both, drink and pass it. I'm very skilled. And, as you noted earlier, very pretty. I'm multi-talented. Problem and attempt at solution, healer and destroyer, drinker and passer of bottle. The only contradiction I'm not is that I only love cats, not dogs and cats alike.

[He holds her, closing his eyes and wishing there was truly any way to fix any of the mess he's made as well as the system.]

I can assure you that I'm not a terrible kisser, at least.

[They've shared a kiss before, but still.]

[fleurdesel]

[ Staying so close isn't helping, but she is too tired to move. For a short while she might have this. Not long. Only a moment or two more before she complains of the cold and the stone and needs to pull herself back into the Chair. But this? She has missed having something like this. Casual contact, tangling with someone to share opinions and wine and wile away the hours.

But this is not the Spire and he is Anders.

She takes the bottle with a sigh, downing another burning mouthful. ]

You share your bed with a Fereldan. That ought to be close enough.

[ Something else to mind- that he has found someone. That they are happy. A part of her feels as though she ought to resent him finding such a thing.

The rest squashes that envy. She has her work and wants nothing more. It is all she needs. ]

[justice_is_blond]

It's not like I thought you'd actually kiss me. The comment was safe.

[He takes the bottle back after she's had another drink, and sips again before the impact of her words hit him and he stiffens against her.]

That... That's spread beyond the camp? The Warden camp? Or is it just that you've noticed us being close on these attempts? I need, I can't... I know I can't protect him long, but I thought we'd have longer. Once the Templars--

[He cuts himself off and tries to force himself to breath. Nate's not a mage. Nate's not even a criminal in any way.]

Tell me they can't harm him, please. You can't lie. I need another mage to tell me that. He should be beyond them.

[fleurdesel]

You are not exactly subtle around one another, no.

[ And why should they be? Why should anyone have to be careful about showing affection- here they are supposed to be safe enough to do so. That was the promise the Inquisition was to make. A fresh start. A better one. ]

You hurt less, around him. Compassion has noticed, that you hurt less. That he feels lighter.

He is a Warden, why would they hurt him? This is not Kinloch or Kirkwall, Anders.

[justice_is_blond]

Why did they come after me when all I was was a Warden? I did nothing except run time and time again, and yet they set up traps, sent Templars to join to harass me, and tried to kill me. The scar on my chest is from a Templar when I was a Warden alone, no crimes to my name save bad puppetry.

[There's a sadness to his words. Nate makes everything easier, it's true, but he and Velanna sometimes remind Anders of the life he could have had if Templars had not interfered.]

And now I'm a criminal who has killed countless Templars, who broke the Circles and challenged their order, threw their order into chaos, no less, and they can't hurt me directly because to do so would be to challenge the Wardens. But if something was to happen to someone I clearly care about a great deal...

[He takes another drink.]

[fleurdesel]

[ And this is everything she'd hoped to put from her mind. Everything he'd done, everything they are working for- Adelaide untangles herself and scoots back to lean against the wall. As much as she's missed the contact, remembering who and what he is makes it difficult to enjoy.

She's still angry- or is she still hurt? Saying it out loud might help but she's too tired to bother. ]

And hurting Nathaniel would not in and of itself be a Challenge to the Wardens?

[justice_is_blond]

[Anders stays laying there, holding the bottle, missing the contact and knowing that the loss of it is his fault. That's all right. That's what he always does anyway. In the end it makes her a little safer too.]

If a group assaulted him in the dark and none could pin down who it was? If I'm attacked and report it, which is why I've not reported the three who have done so, the Wardens have to respond. That, and others see a weakness and an opening. If Nate is, it could be bandits. It could be refugees, it could be anyone and it doesn't have to be a Warden thing.

[He rests an arm over his eyes.]

[fleurdesel]

Then he should not be wandering about alone in the dark. I thought Wardens were warriors of great skill, is that not some manner of rule?

[ Honestly. ]

[justice_is_blond]

It is, but I don't know how to stop being afraid.

[...Worse than singing. This is so much worse than singing.]

Why am I still not drunk enough to not care? Maker's sake, I haven't been drunk since I've been possessed, you'd think I could at least get somewhere here.

[fleurdesel]

Mmm. I may have something to help.

[ She pulls a flask from her pocket- not a sizeable thing, but the smell when she unstoppers it? Potent. ]

Maraas-lok. Here.

[justice_is_blond]

[He trades it for the brandy and the scent of it alone is enough to make his eyes water.]

Thank you.

[Anders takes a mouthful, aware of Justice's disapproval and not caring. It would be nice to not feel for just a few minutes.]

Qunari?

[fleurdesel]

Korrin gifts me flasks from her carepackages. I don't often dip into it, but a little in tea helps me sleep on rougher days.

[ A little is all one needs of the stuff, really. ]

[justice_is_blond]

[He's set the flask back down because the burn tells him everything - this should do it. Though the information brings an amused smile back to his lips.]

I'm drinking a gift from the woman who still resents me for saving her life. This is even more satisfying than my hopes of what it will do.

[fleurdesel]

Do me the kindness of not being smug about this. I know that will be difficult but I had a hard enough time arguing on your behalf when we were discussing whether or not you ought to be allowed to continue healing at the keep.

[justice_is_blond]

Please. It's only fun when she doesn't know.

[Oh, there it is. He can feel a little fuzz and it's magnificent.]

If she knew the gifts would end and there'd be no enjoyment at all. I've made something for Araceli's fox, to help with pests, and while a lot of the reason is simply because the fox is lovely and I want to help, there's a small part of me that takes a great deal of pleasure from assisting Korrin's lover.

[fleurdesel]

While occasionally useful- spite is not terribly attractive.

[ She takes the flask back, knocking down a little with a rough cough. ]

[justice_is_blond]

Is it more or less attractive than the Fereldan accent? On a scale of things that aren't terribly attractive, that is. Along with people who take the brandy away.

[fleurdesel]

Less.

[ One day. This mess lass for one day. ]

[justice_is_blond]

So on a scale of least to most attractive, brandy stealing, spite, and accent. You know, there was spite to the brandy stealing, that's what truly makes it atrocious.

[And now he's starting to feel like he can make it through this day. The edge of pain that's always there is leaving, he doesn't give a damn about Justice watching, and the ceiling is actually decently interesting.]

An absolute crime.

[fleurdesel]

The brandy theft wasn't out of spite, it was punishment. For being foolish.

[ It is important to be specific. ]

And before you get any ideas, the top of your scale is only about middling for mine. Of the three, yes, the accent is the most attractive but on a grander scale? Meh.

[justice_is_blond]

You think I'm pretty. You said so. I've things that aren't meh on your scale, and you've things that aren't meh on mine. So there.

[He'd stick his tongue out if he wasn't so comfortable.]

I've all the ideas in the world. I'm pretty and witty and I like cats. And I can do magic tricks.