Nathaniel watches his face, mesmerized by each freckle and whisker, each premature wrinkle around eyes and mouth, each strand of silver at his temples.
In a heartbeat, he could ruin everything. He could say he already loves Anders even with Justice a part of him, he could dissuade him or persuade him to postpone it until he and Adelaide and Bethany go in and wipe Justice out without hurting Anders--besides the utter breach of a trust so precious. But it would mean Anders is alive at the end of it for certain.
There is no keeping Justice. Nathaniel is haunted by the night Anders lost control, how hurt and defeated he was. How much this arrangement betrays him every day, how much Justice takes and how little it gives. This is not sustainable.
He wraps his arms around Anders and brings him down to the bed, only wanting him close.
"You don't have to do this," he says weakly, knowing it's not true. Anders needs to do this. Anders needs to be the one to sever the connection with Justice, most of all. Like the struggle out of the eggshell strengthens the baby bird.
no subject
In a heartbeat, he could ruin everything. He could say he already loves Anders even with Justice a part of him, he could dissuade him or persuade him to postpone it until he and Adelaide and Bethany go in and wipe Justice out without hurting Anders--besides the utter breach of a trust so precious. But it would mean Anders is alive at the end of it for certain.
There is no keeping Justice. Nathaniel is haunted by the night Anders lost control, how hurt and defeated he was. How much this arrangement betrays him every day, how much Justice takes and how little it gives. This is not sustainable.
He wraps his arms around Anders and brings him down to the bed, only wanting him close.
"You don't have to do this," he says weakly, knowing it's not true. Anders needs to do this. Anders needs to be the one to sever the connection with Justice, most of all. Like the struggle out of the eggshell strengthens the baby bird.