faderift | [Open] Save tonight, fight the break of dawn

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[Open] Save tonight, fight the break of dawn

WHO: Anders and OPEN
WHAT: The last open log with J!Anders before Justice is gone
WHEN: Mid-Justinian, from around the 8th to the 15th
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Anders, as usual. Prose or brackets work, I've just started everything in prose because that's less html I can screw up.

Healing Tents

Anders (and kitten) are constant sights in the healing tents in Skyhold from morning until evening. One of them works. One of them prefers to play, and is currently most fascinated by a slowly-unraveling string from a scrap of cloth that the larger of the two made sure was dangling down to draw attention.

"Watch the cat," is the warning someone coming in gets first, before being nodded toward the nearest table right away whether they've got a visible injury or not. That they're here for medical reasons is the safest assumption.

Library

He can be found here an early evening, paging through older books with a few pieces of parchment next to him where he's taking notes. Or hoping to. The top page is mostly blank, though, and Anders is frowning as he closes one book and pulls another off one of the few stacks he's made around himself.

People walking past don't even get glances, he's busy and he doesn't care if there are glares shot in his direction right now. People who stop get a glance up with a raised eyebrow and neutral-as-he-can-make-it expression.

Training Circle

It's early. Ridiculously early, early enough to be considered late the next day and that's why he's here now, working with his staff against a dummy. An opponent would be better, but few are here at this hour, and no one who was there when he arrived is someone he'd trust to work instead of actually attack. That being said, for once he's not seemingly radiating irritation and aggravation and he's even looking over as other people start to show up. He could use a hand and he knows it.

Hot Springs

He enters a little hastily, freezing after sweating in the cold and needing to get ready to head into the healing tents. There's not a lot of time to linger. ...but that thought fades away once he's fully in the water. It's so warm that he's sinking in to his chin almost right away, and really only leaving his face above water so he can keep an eye on Purrelden as the kitten chases a beetle.

Courtyard

Not since his Detlef days has he actually sat out here for a time. Dinner tonight is a simple affair, a few strips of meat washed down with a weak excuse for ale along with some a handful of fruit and nuts, but it seems better out here in the open air. People passing by get a nod whether they look at him with a smile or a scowl; he's actually not in a mood to fight right now. In a week's time he might be dead, he might be entirely without hope of having his head to himself again, or he might be alone in his head. It's an odd feeling, and the chill breeze and stars seem perfectly suited for it. There's room on the bench to join him, a cat on his shoulder, and he's... at peace.

[For Cole]

Since River and Simon's disappearance, Anders has been looking out for glances of Cole more often, just... checking on the boy. He's worried about River, and while she and Cole aren't exactly the same, thinking of one brings the other to mind often. Popping up to the third floor of the tavern one evening bears fruit and Anders smiles as he heads over to join Cole.

"Hello. I... I realize I've not actually thought of what to say when I do run into you. You're doing well?"

[For Zevran]

This speech, however, he's practiced repeatedly, and as Anders knocks on Zevran's door with a package in hand, there's a whole lot of amusement in his voice.

"Zevran? I know you said not to bring back a cow, but..."

[For Nate]

It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous, and potentially useless, and there's not a chance that Nate will hate the wriggling animal in Anders' arms because Nate is Fereldan. In fact, he'll probably love it. Anders is counting on that. He hadn't exactly been counting on Purrelden being confused, though, so the cat on his head digging small claws in as she struggles to stay perched and far away from the tiny confusing barking thing is not something he'd been prepared for. Anders ducks into their tent awkwardly, hoping Nate's in there and talking without even looking.

"A little help, please?"

Wildcard me!

[Want something with Anders? Come on in! Start a header, or poke me on Plurk at Nadat for one. He's easily found around the healing tents in Skyhold and around Camp Shady Fucker/the Warden camp.]

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Her own glance Adelaide's way lingers half a second too long, before she pressed her lips together to spare the guard a little dignity in the face of Adelaide's chastising, but it's a struggle. And it's not until Anders continues speaking that she looks back at him, exhaling as she shrugs in a well, I'm ridiculous sort of way.

"It's more a title," Ruby clarifies, ever so serious. "Really it's Chief Boss Captain, in varied orders, but we agreed 'Captain' was an acceptable shorthand."

And then a nod. "Sure. I've got a report to hand over, or... like ten reports, actually, but we may as well wring out some information."

Wring out, and it's a ring, and... you know what, it was a terrible joke, she feels bad.

His smile fades slowly at her lingering glance and 'chief boss captain.' He knows Adelaide responds well to teasing, and the look... Except he has no right to be bothered by what he's seeing. None at all. He'd dashed his own chances and he's even in love with someone else too. Instead. Not too. He's not in love with Adelaide, he simply feels a lot of things for her. And he has a partner who is beyond anything he deserves and perfect.

Anders swallows and nods, putting a smile back on his face that might be convincing or might not. He's not really sure.

"Right. Grab two of the chairs and pull them off to the side while I put this where it goes?" Not really waiting for an answer, Anders takes the bundle and sets the first handful in the press before closing it, letting the weight of it slowly get to work with crushing before heading over to rejoin Ruby. Inevitable, slow crushing. That feels about right.

Edited 2016-06-09 01:06 (UTC)

Oh.

Abrupt, but sure, they're busy. That wouldn't bother her if it didn't seem in a bit of a contrast to their conversation so far. Not a pun guy? Weird, given that they started punning about soulful fish, but-- never mind. She shakes herself, unnecessary jogging a couple paces to grab the chairs, and rests against one as she waits for him, wrists twisted as she leans her weight into them.

"Hey. Are you okay?" The smile isn't convincing. She has a myriad of experience with those of regulars at the bar and her own. "If I said something that bothered you..."

Edited 2016-06-09 01:14 (UTC)

He's being rude. Anders takes a breath and shakes his head. Jealousy doesn't have a place when he doesn't know if Adelaide even could like him again.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't anything you said. I got distracted by my thoughts." The fake smile turns to a real half-smile. "Wring and ring. That was a good one. I should have been paying more attention to that."

Who wouldn't be interested in Adelaide, attracted to her at least a little? Other than Dorian for obvious reasons. He sits down and brushes back a little hair that's escaped his ponytail. "Let's see your ring, then?"

A little relieved, Ruby's shoulders ease, and she swings the chair around so that she can straddle the back, resting her left arm across the top of it and idly propping up her right hand so Anders can better see the ring.

"Well, you never know when a quality pun can come out of the woodwork."

Is that too far? Whatever, the ring's wooden, she has limited shame and the pun seems to have maybe cheered him a little. She's not even sure that one counts as a pun so much as outright silliness, but she'll take it.

Still, the shift in mood worries at her, gaze shifting past Anders to Adelaide before she refocuses. Maybe she's just thinking too much. "Do you know anything about magic that deals with plants? I've seen it before back home but usually it was... different."

The smile grows a fraction. "You're starting to stretch a little with these, go out a little too far on that limb."

He follows her gaze a moment later to Adelaide before he sighs. Not right now. Later he can indulge, or even better later he can refuse to indulge in whatever mess he's feeling. Nate deserves better.

"The Dalish know the most about plant magic," he says as he looks back at Ruby's ring. "The person here who I'd say likely knows the most in that area is Velanna, followed closely by Pel, and after that, Sina. I've seen Velanna do impressive things, been taught by Pel to do a little, and Sina spends all of her time in the gardens so I'm assuming she's some knowledge there."

Completely unaware of their scrutiny, Adelaide sends the guard off with a stern glower, slumping back into her chair for a moment. The day is warm (summer is upon them) and she is weary- the morning's chill long since gone gives her leave to shrug her way out of her coat and fold back the sleeves of her thin cotton chemise, baring more pale skin to the tent's dim light. A snag- somewhere- catches the pinned braid at the back of her head and tugs it loose enough that the tail end dips down, hanging awkwardly for the few moments it takes her to unpin the rest and let it fall free in its entirety.

She takes a few moments to adjust her hair, head canted to make the pinning simpler- more secure against future snags.

"Maybe. I just have to be-leaf in it being the right thing to do, you know?"

Ruby doesn't know Nate. Certainly doesn't know about Anders and Nate. She does, however, know that several things are true:

1. Adelaide is working
2. Adelaide is technically her superior
3. Adelaide is her friend

Three excellent reasons why she shakes her head a little, exhales, like it'll banish whatever-- whatever observations might be made. Adelaide is beautiful; it doesn't give her leave to look, and especially not with The List. And-- yep. Nope. You foolish, ridiculous, flighty girl.

Hey, when all else fails there are familiar reprimands to cycle through your head. Thanks, Granny.

"Um." Drawn out, as she tries to remember what it was Anders just said. It only takes half a moment, and she nods deliberately as she chews on her lip and mulls it over. "Is it possible it's Dalish?" Her look at the ring is-- well. "I... if it's Dalish then I shouldn't have this."

They're getting there with the puns. Not so much in the not-having-difficulties-with-Adelaide, though. Adelaide is gorgeous, and nothing will happen between himself and her again. Telling himself this never helps, unfortunately, but he has his own grumbling, frustrated voice to work with.

A voice that disapproves of her attempts to help Anders as much as it approves of her politics.

"E-vine-dently you don't have a choice as to whether or not you have it, just yet." He runs a thumb along the ring itself, feeling the smooth edge that screams magic without feeling like it at all. "It's entirely possible it's Dalish. Considering I can't figure out the magic that powers it, even more likely. Where did you find it?"

"Oh, nicely done. Very smooth incorporation." Her smile is easy, albeit pensive around the edges, a slightly guilty tension as she remembers Beleth's words from when they where returning from Twisted Fate's home visit, about elves and their heritage being taken away from them. Ruby runs her thumb against her ring. The ring, rather.

"Uh, in the Hinterlands. I was checking out this place where I heard there had been demon wolves, I found this... not in the same location, but kinda nearby."

She exhales slowly, brow creased as she tries to recall. "I was not in the best way. My shard was acting up but I got it in my head I needed to check out these ruins, like a weirdo."

Adelaide is forgotten for the moment as Ruby keeps talking, and Anders' expression slowly becomes incredulous.

"You were in pain, so you went off in search of demon wolves and wandered into ruins, and then stuck the first thing you found on your finger?" He's done dumb stuff. He's done a lot of dumb stuff. But this is a rather astounding combination.

"What... I don't want to be rude, but what exactly were you expecting to go well about any of that?"

"Well," she starts, with a sad smile, "when you're a wolf and you haven't had a pack for a long time, you have a certain investment. I've been looking for clues for what happened to Emma for weeks now and have been coming up with nothing, so... at least looking into local wolves felt like something. Pain wasn't doing a lot for my judgent." She says it calmly, with a one-shouldered shrug at the end. "I've been feeling so... isolated, I guess, that it mattered a lot at the time. And I know the isolation is my own fault, but there you go."

Sure, sure Ruby, depression is your own fault, but she's inclined to judge herself very harshly.

"And," she said wryly, "finding stuff in ruins or on bodies and sticking it on your finger doesn't seem to be all that uncommon in the Inquisition."

Anders looks down, feeling guilty. There's no way he could have known she was a wolf, especially when isn't an elf, but the whole feeling of isolation is one he knows well. And he hadn't helped the other day. Though at the last she gets a glance up and a look of wry amusement.

"That's why we have so many healers. Mysterious item? Stick it on. Or hit it. Or chant at it. Mysterious creature? Attack it. The floor might be littered with traps? Charge in." And then the amusement fades. "I'm sorry, by the way. When you called yourself an outsider I wasn't... I wasn't as considerate as I should have been. I don't understand how you're a wolf," and he needs to stop being an asshole and feeling twinges of jealousy over Adelaide, "but if you'd like more friends and less isolation, I could be one. Granted, I'm not exactly a prize friend to have. At all. But at least I've never found something and stuck it on my finger right away."

She laughs a little at that, giving him a faux-harsh look. "Wow, you make one bad fashion choice and suddenly everyone's a critic." Everyone being Anders, evidently.

"And, honestly? Anyone calling themself an outsider can be pretty melodramatic. Don't sweat it." Her smile stays in place, out of practice at looking happy when maybe she's not really. It's the smile of customer service and also trying not to let anyone worry when there's enough going on.

"With the Wolf, uh, I can explain but I can also spare you, it's... a little weird to explain and there's different layers of how confusing it can be. Either way, I wouldn't say no to a friend. Friends are good."

"Mm. Well. I certainly can't be having with anyone who is melodramatic." His voice is utterly sarcastic. Melodrama is a sin he commits often, and well he knows it.

"If you don't mind explaining, I'd like to know. It'll keep me from making more comments about your fashion choices, at least." He's still probing at the ring with care, trying to see any opening, any lull in the flow of magic he can't feel, but it might be a lost cause. She may need a Dalish mage for that.

"Yeah, those melodramatic people. They suck."

Ruby idly nudges the ring, rolling it with her thumb; for a moment the shift in the grain almost looms like a full moon in the starless sky, before it contorts into something else.

"In my world people like me are sometimes called werewolves, but in stories back there 'werewolves'" - with one-handed airquotes - "are all sorts of different things, and I heard werewolves are something else here, too... it's a mess. The idea is that a person is human most of the time, and then around the full moon they change."

She pauses, then, trying to figure how to make it make sense. "The things is, I'm not human most of the time and the Wolf other times. I'm a Wolf and I'm human, all the time. I was born this way, and so was my mother, but my Granny was turned by my grandfather. I'm just... I'm a Wolf because I was born that way. Sort of like how mages were born the way they are, or how some people have green eyes or, you know, whatever, except green eyes aren't generally evil and dangerous just for being what they are."

Says the woman with green eyes, and she glances to the side in an exaggerated or are they? sort of way, before looking back to Anders. "Did... that actually help explain it at all, or just make it more confusing?"

The show gets a small smile as he continues to relax. Her ring is fascinating, the way it keeps changing, and it has to be Dalish or ancient Tevinter. It's a shame it's stuck on her finger.

"Um. A little. How do you, I don't mean to be rude, but how do you define wolf, then? I know what wolves are, I've heard of the curse that turned a tribe into werewolves, but I'm not following how you're human and wolf at the same time. You don't... It's obvious, but you don't look like a wolf. Is it an instinct thing?"

"Instinct... I guess. When I tried to deny what I was and fight it then I was never in control. The Wolf part was some separate monster. When I embraced it, though, when I accepted that I am the Wolf? Then when I change I'm still Ruby. But the Wolf is always there, too. It's just another part of my nature. Like... like when someone gets cranky or when they laugh. The possibility is always there?" A shake of her head. "I'm not so good at this. I can let the Wolf out any time, and I'm still me when I do. The Wolf part of me is... I wouldn't be me if I hadn't realised we're the same thing."

But she makes a face, still unsatisfied with her explanation. "I think I'm making this worse."

He presses his lips together, starting to look a bit more lost.

"I'm sorry. Maybe in time I'll understand better." Honestly, it just sounds like she has a temper and she's named it. Anders isn't sure he should suggest that, though. "I appreciate you trying. And I'm certain that there are some things that make absolute sense to me that if I tried to explain them would simply confuse anyone not familiar with the concepts." Maybe that would be a comfort.

What is likely not a comfort is him sitting back in his chair. "And I'm not familiar with what made this ring. I'm sorry. I think you'll have to speak with one of the Dalish firsts, if not more. Pel may be your best bet, but Velanna may know something as well."

"There's really no need to apologise. Words aren't really my thing." Making drinks and large teeth all the better to eat you with? That's her wheelhouse.

"Well, maybe sometime you can confuse me with rambling explanations, too. Deal?" Sometime when he's not working, she's guessing.

Ruby makes a little face - not unhappy, just a face - and looks at her ring. "Pel and Velanna, got it. I'll try and make tome. In the meanwhile I guess I'll go stand next to the elfroot in the garden, or something, see if I can make it grow extra fast." An eyeroll, self-deprecating. "I appreciate you looking anyway."

"I'm good at confusing with rambling explanations. This sounds like an excellent deal." His expression, and voice, are so very wry. "Imagine if we teamed up to try to explain something. We could leave everyone in the vicinity absolutely befuddled. But until then..."

He stands and gives her a nod. "We could always use more elfroot. Or, if you don't mind the Warden Camp, we've a small garden of herbs we could use you walking by too. Be careful not to walk into any poison ivy, though, if you don't mind. There's a few cats that nibble on it and don't learn."

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[Open] Save tonight, fight the break of dawn

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