faderift | [Open] Save tonight, fight the break of dawn

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[Open] Save tonight, fight the break of dawn

WHO: Anders and OPEN
WHAT: The last open log with J!Anders before Justice is gone
WHEN: Mid-Justinian, from around the 8th to the 15th
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Anders, as usual. Prose or brackets work, I've just started everything in prose because that's less html I can screw up.

Healing Tents

Anders (and kitten) are constant sights in the healing tents in Skyhold from morning until evening. One of them works. One of them prefers to play, and is currently most fascinated by a slowly-unraveling string from a scrap of cloth that the larger of the two made sure was dangling down to draw attention.

"Watch the cat," is the warning someone coming in gets first, before being nodded toward the nearest table right away whether they've got a visible injury or not. That they're here for medical reasons is the safest assumption.

Library

He can be found here an early evening, paging through older books with a few pieces of parchment next to him where he's taking notes. Or hoping to. The top page is mostly blank, though, and Anders is frowning as he closes one book and pulls another off one of the few stacks he's made around himself.

People walking past don't even get glances, he's busy and he doesn't care if there are glares shot in his direction right now. People who stop get a glance up with a raised eyebrow and neutral-as-he-can-make-it expression.

Training Circle

It's early. Ridiculously early, early enough to be considered late the next day and that's why he's here now, working with his staff against a dummy. An opponent would be better, but few are here at this hour, and no one who was there when he arrived is someone he'd trust to work instead of actually attack. That being said, for once he's not seemingly radiating irritation and aggravation and he's even looking over as other people start to show up. He could use a hand and he knows it.

Hot Springs

He enters a little hastily, freezing after sweating in the cold and needing to get ready to head into the healing tents. There's not a lot of time to linger. ...but that thought fades away once he's fully in the water. It's so warm that he's sinking in to his chin almost right away, and really only leaving his face above water so he can keep an eye on Purrelden as the kitten chases a beetle.

Courtyard

Not since his Detlef days has he actually sat out here for a time. Dinner tonight is a simple affair, a few strips of meat washed down with a weak excuse for ale along with some a handful of fruit and nuts, but it seems better out here in the open air. People passing by get a nod whether they look at him with a smile or a scowl; he's actually not in a mood to fight right now. In a week's time he might be dead, he might be entirely without hope of having his head to himself again, or he might be alone in his head. It's an odd feeling, and the chill breeze and stars seem perfectly suited for it. There's room on the bench to join him, a cat on his shoulder, and he's... at peace.

[For Cole]

Since River and Simon's disappearance, Anders has been looking out for glances of Cole more often, just... checking on the boy. He's worried about River, and while she and Cole aren't exactly the same, thinking of one brings the other to mind often. Popping up to the third floor of the tavern one evening bears fruit and Anders smiles as he heads over to join Cole.

"Hello. I... I realize I've not actually thought of what to say when I do run into you. You're doing well?"

[For Zevran]

This speech, however, he's practiced repeatedly, and as Anders knocks on Zevran's door with a package in hand, there's a whole lot of amusement in his voice.

"Zevran? I know you said not to bring back a cow, but..."

[For Nate]

It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous, and potentially useless, and there's not a chance that Nate will hate the wriggling animal in Anders' arms because Nate is Fereldan. In fact, he'll probably love it. Anders is counting on that. He hadn't exactly been counting on Purrelden being confused, though, so the cat on his head digging small claws in as she struggles to stay perched and far away from the tiny confusing barking thing is not something he'd been prepared for. Anders ducks into their tent awkwardly, hoping Nate's in there and talking without even looking.

"A little help, please?"

Wildcard me!

[Want something with Anders? Come on in! Start a header, or poke me on Plurk at Nadat for one. He's easily found around the healing tents in Skyhold and around Camp Shady Fucker/the Warden camp.]

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"..." The pitch of the screaming hikes up enough to cause Zevran to flinch- and this is a torment he would share. So he stands aside and waves Anders in, glowering down the hall at any that might wander by in the interim.

"What is it?"

Despite how clear it is there's a baby in the room, Anders doesn't answer right away. Nor does he open the package right away. Instead, he sits on the ground at a little distance from Lucci and allows the door to close. Only after it's secure does he hold up the package - not toward the baby, but toward Zevran. He knows Zevran trusts him. He also knows this is Zevran's child and maybe Alistair and Mia alone would have full trust here.

"I picked up a cow for him. Of course, this one has never been alive, and it will never make a mess. Unless Doghren gets it." Anders unwraps it, still at a safe enough distance, giving Zevran time to approve of the toy. And Lucci time to continue wailing. Babies. And mabari. They're an... interesting combination. Thank everything he doesn't have elf ears. "I did say I'd get him a cow."

"..." Zevran again levels Anders with a look that is halfway between despairing and uncertain with a constant undercurrent of homicide that only becomes more and more present the longer this screaming game goes on. He could yell as well, tell them to both be quiet but-

He has never really been much one for yelling. Quietly waiting for the dog to die? Yes.

He reaches out to take the toy first, turning it around in his hands, fingers slipping along seams and squeezing this bit and that, giving the horns a tug- making certain there is nothing to catch or drag unpleasantly on Lucci's skin. With one last vague tug of the head (decapitation is not fun with toys, they learned this last week) Zevran hands it to Lucci and suddenly? All is quiet.

At least until he starts babbling- but there is no screaming or howling and Zevran will take what he can get. "If this takes Doghren's place as his favorite toy and she begins to whine because of it? I may have to kill you on principle."

Happy noises are a thousand times better than the howling, and he gives Zevran a smug smile.

"There are worse ways to go. I even thought I was going to go out a couple of those ways, and you did make a promise that if you ended me it would be quick, I believe." He's not dying today, and he's not dying for bringing back a cow either.

"Also, I'll point out that I've changed the noises from deliberately, piercingly loud, to far more cheerful. Perhaps you should simply show me the sketches you've made rather than killing me. If you've had time."

Anders does like to live dangerously- and Zevran's shoulders unwind a bit as it seems this new game of bouncing the cow around as Doghren tries to follow is one that can be done quietly. Maker's breath. He watches them for a long moment before trusting Anders to keep him informed if this changes (as though the screaming would not) and tugs his sketchbook that now looks as though a corner has been gnawed upon (fun moment that) and has a few pages littered with drool and milk stains (he is now resigned to such things) from the end table.

It takes a moment to flip through but he offers them, finely detailed feathers curving where the scars curve, draping down Anders' back in an artful drape as though he was wearing a ridiculous feathered cloak. As though he were some mythical beast. "Something like this, yes?"

He takes the pages and the smirk leaves his face, replaced by an expression of awe. Anders traces the line of the feathers slowly.

"It's gorgeous." Far more beautiful than he'd imagined. And to think this could be on his back, covering up some parts of his past he'd rather forget... He swallows, looking down. Is it weak, to want them disguised with something pretty, rather than let them continue to stand out so starkly against his skin? Is he hiding from the reality of his life? The pleased babbling is the only sound for several moments before he finally looks up. He's not hiding, nor is he rewriting. He's simply starting new pages. If he survives the fifth ritual, that is.

"Thank you, Zevran. Exactly like this." He looks up with a crooked smile, offering the pages back. "Closer to the end of the month, when you've time, of course. There's no reason to risk wasting your work. But I would be honored." He is the sum of his past, not scattered incidents. The scars do not define him.

"I spend a great deal of my time sitting and waiting." Waiting for Lucci to scream, to need something, to wake up, to sleep- there is as much panicked reaction as there is sitting and waiting for something to react to. "The lines will take the better part of the day- scars are thick and getting the ink to take?"

He shakes his head, reaching down to scoop Lucci and the cow up onto his lap. "Mia can watch him but if he needs me while I am working- I will be leaving them half finished. So we shall try to work out the lines first so if I must go you do not have half a drawing on your back."

The baby starts hitting Zevran with the cow, making its head flop around, and Anders can't help but smile a little.

"That makes sense. I can arrange to take a day off. I'm certain there's a procedure for that. There has to be." He just hasn't taken one before, except for when he slept after the plague. He's had days free from healing, sure, but they've all been on business. "And speaking of Lucci... May I tell Nate? He didn't ask about the cow, but it would be nice to go back to having no secrets from him."

"I suppose it will be impossible to keep him a secret for much longer." That he has managed for so long is nothing short of a miracle, even if several people have barged their way in with their opinions and questions regarding his health. The striking he takes in stride, peering down with a wide smile at his boy. It makes him giggle.

He doesn't even mean it, but the child giggles. Curious. "Go ahead. But keep it discreet. I would keep this to as few as possible for a little while longer."

Lucci is adorable. Anders reaches over to tickle under his chin and get another giggle from the baby.

"I understand. I'll make sure Nate knows to keep it quiet as well. He's trustworthy." While Zevran has to know that, he fell asleep with them once, it's still worth saying. "May I hold him? I realize with a cow added he'll be even heavier, but I think I can manage."

There's a fair shot that Zevran will say no with the cow reminder. It's worth it. The cow is so very worth it.

"Do you know how to hold a baby?" He's hesitant for a moment, weighing the opportunity to not have a part of his skin clammy with clinging sweat against this odd twist of visceral fear he's had pop up on him now and again. it is very distracting, this fear.

But, ultimately, he offers the Infant over with a wary hand. "Be careful. He will try to pull your hair or whatever else he might reach."

He smiles as he gently takes Lucci (and cow), holding out a finger for the baby to take. "I've delivered babies, taken care of them at their worst, when they're feeling miserable, held them for their mothers when another child gets into a tangle... I know what I'm doing."

Lucci tries to tug Anders' finger into his mouth, and Anders manages to bend his finger so the baby's just sticking his own thumb in as he jabbers.

"There's some things you don't unlearn. And some things instinct helps with." He looks down at the baby. "So, little one. Do you know what noise a cow makes? Do you think your father will stab me if I tell you? He probably will. Maybe I shouldn't."

"Anders..." He can see the wheels turning and just as easily know he wants no part in this mess. "You were wise enough to bring him a toy that made no noise. Why do you think it wise to encourage him to make one when he plays with it?"

Does he have so little regard for his tender parts.

"I will not only stab you, my friend, but I will fillet your tenders and serve them on a platter to your Nathaniel as a warning to future fools that think teaching my son words for him to scream at the top of his lungs at all hours is a funny idea." Just.

Fair warning, Anders. Choose carefully.

There's a bit of a grin threatening to break out on his face.

"Listen to him, Lucci. He thinks you won't pick up on words to scream. In the interests of avoiding great pain, something I've never been good at, I won't teach you that one." Yet. Once Lucci is toddling and saying dozens of words, everything is fair play. "In the meantime, can you say Da? Or does your dad prefer father, or dada? Because you'll be making noises anyway. You may as well call the right person over."

"Most of his babbling begins with 'ba' and 'ma' which I hope to one day be 'Mia' but I am not holding out hope for much. If I am lucky he will learn Antivan first- it is easier for children." At least in his expert opinion.

"Is it? I can't say I'd mind learning, and then perhaps whenever you call me in panic or I find more cows, can you say 'cow,' Lucci? I can talk in Antivan and help. Of course, in Anders, cow is Kuh."

Lucci doesn't even try to say cow; he's too busy making thpppt noises as he flaps the cow's ears.

"And then we can make sure he knows how to say other important phrases. Like 'hello, gorgeous.' 'I'm not a mage, I'm simply as hot as one so please don't arrest me.'" He's nearly certain Zevran knows he's teasing about all of this, but he looks up to meet the elf's eyes anyway just in case.

"Are mages more attractive than the average person?" This is something Zevran has not noticed- but then it is something he has not truly attempted to keep track of.

"Of course we are." It's not true, but he can say as much. "And did you hear that, Lucci? He didn't tell us what the word for cow is. I suppose I'll have to do some research later. And we can hope you grow up to be as pretty as a mage without the drawbacks."

A beat, and then he glances up from Lucci to Zevran. "Or as pretty as your father, I suppose." Zevran gets a flash of a smile before Anders makes the cow gently bop Lucci's chin... and promptly gets the cow drooled on. Babies. As messy as mabari, really. But more adorable. "For now, though, little one, as precious as you are, we're going to give you back to your dad. I'm expected back at the healing tents."

Lucci gets a little kiss to the top of his head before Anders raises an eyebrow at Zevran, waiting for the baby to be taken. "Maybe I'll hold you longer next time."

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[Open] Save tonight, fight the break of dawn

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