faderift | [Open] Save tonight, fight the break of dawn

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[Open] Save tonight, fight the break of dawn

WHO: Anders and OPEN
WHAT: The last open log with J!Anders before Justice is gone
WHEN: Mid-Justinian, from around the 8th to the 15th
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Anders, as usual. Prose or brackets work, I've just started everything in prose because that's less html I can screw up.

Healing Tents

Anders (and kitten) are constant sights in the healing tents in Skyhold from morning until evening. One of them works. One of them prefers to play, and is currently most fascinated by a slowly-unraveling string from a scrap of cloth that the larger of the two made sure was dangling down to draw attention.

"Watch the cat," is the warning someone coming in gets first, before being nodded toward the nearest table right away whether they've got a visible injury or not. That they're here for medical reasons is the safest assumption.

Library

He can be found here an early evening, paging through older books with a few pieces of parchment next to him where he's taking notes. Or hoping to. The top page is mostly blank, though, and Anders is frowning as he closes one book and pulls another off one of the few stacks he's made around himself.

People walking past don't even get glances, he's busy and he doesn't care if there are glares shot in his direction right now. People who stop get a glance up with a raised eyebrow and neutral-as-he-can-make-it expression.

Training Circle

It's early. Ridiculously early, early enough to be considered late the next day and that's why he's here now, working with his staff against a dummy. An opponent would be better, but few are here at this hour, and no one who was there when he arrived is someone he'd trust to work instead of actually attack. That being said, for once he's not seemingly radiating irritation and aggravation and he's even looking over as other people start to show up. He could use a hand and he knows it.

Hot Springs

He enters a little hastily, freezing after sweating in the cold and needing to get ready to head into the healing tents. There's not a lot of time to linger. ...but that thought fades away once he's fully in the water. It's so warm that he's sinking in to his chin almost right away, and really only leaving his face above water so he can keep an eye on Purrelden as the kitten chases a beetle.

Courtyard

Not since his Detlef days has he actually sat out here for a time. Dinner tonight is a simple affair, a few strips of meat washed down with a weak excuse for ale along with some a handful of fruit and nuts, but it seems better out here in the open air. People passing by get a nod whether they look at him with a smile or a scowl; he's actually not in a mood to fight right now. In a week's time he might be dead, he might be entirely without hope of having his head to himself again, or he might be alone in his head. It's an odd feeling, and the chill breeze and stars seem perfectly suited for it. There's room on the bench to join him, a cat on his shoulder, and he's... at peace.

[For Cole]

Since River and Simon's disappearance, Anders has been looking out for glances of Cole more often, just... checking on the boy. He's worried about River, and while she and Cole aren't exactly the same, thinking of one brings the other to mind often. Popping up to the third floor of the tavern one evening bears fruit and Anders smiles as he heads over to join Cole.

"Hello. I... I realize I've not actually thought of what to say when I do run into you. You're doing well?"

[For Zevran]

This speech, however, he's practiced repeatedly, and as Anders knocks on Zevran's door with a package in hand, there's a whole lot of amusement in his voice.

"Zevran? I know you said not to bring back a cow, but..."

[For Nate]

It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous, and potentially useless, and there's not a chance that Nate will hate the wriggling animal in Anders' arms because Nate is Fereldan. In fact, he'll probably love it. Anders is counting on that. He hadn't exactly been counting on Purrelden being confused, though, so the cat on his head digging small claws in as she struggles to stay perched and far away from the tiny confusing barking thing is not something he'd been prepared for. Anders ducks into their tent awkwardly, hoping Nate's in there and talking without even looking.

"A little help, please?"

Wildcard me!

[Want something with Anders? Come on in! Start a header, or poke me on Plurk at Nadat for one. He's easily found around the healing tents in Skyhold and around Camp Shady Fucker/the Warden camp.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

_{[ He shook his head. ]}

No, don't be sorry. I think it's very admirable, and I hope for the same things for you. It's not right for a group of people to be judged based on the actions of one, or fear, or a might. People should be judged as individuals for their actions, and not the possibilities of them. You should be passionate and intense about wanting something that's a fundamental right of all peoples.

_{[ It became trickier on an inter-galactic scale, but Kirk thought it best not to bring that subject up.

He paused, but reached out and put his hand on Ander's shoulder. ]}

I've told Korrin this, and I'll tell you. If the Chantry - should it try to do what it did before, I'll stand with you guys against them.

_{[ That went directly against the Prime Directive, but he had decided months ago that as a single person and being trapped here, the Prime Directive didn't necessarily apply. That, and he couldn't just ignore the injustice of it. ]}

Edited 2016-06-13 05:24 (UTC)

Thank you.

[Not for the admirable, but for the willingness to take a stand.]

The only reason they succeeded for so long was because those who weren't mages were willing to turn a blind eye. If they don't again... If people stand together, even those who aren't of the groups being attacked, the Chantry simply cannot win. Mage, elf, Rifter, we can stand together and we can stop the cycle for good.

I know. Believe me, I do. My world went through something like this, and we bucked it. I'm sure yours can do the same, especially with people like you to lead the way.

[That gets a look of surprise. Kirk... can't know yet, then.]

I'm... fairly certain that they don't want me for a leader.

_{[ No he doesn't as it turns out. But then it's not really a general
topic of conversation is it. ]}

Why not? You seem like a good man who believes in his cause.

[Sometimes it seems like everyone's talking about him, warning people away, muttering about his death. He's not sure if it's a mercy that Kirk doesn't know - explaining it won't be easy - but at least Kirk hasn't come to him angry. Anders takes a breath and tries to find a place to start.]

It's a... It's a long story, and part of it involves what you've tried to help me with. Let me speak, and then you can ask questions. To make thing shorter... There was a thing called the Rite of Annulment. If it was declared on a Circle, every mage held within it would be slaughtered. Legally. It could be used if they felt a Circle too full of willful mages, too lenient, too ruined, nearly anything. I arrived in a city called Kirkwall to try to help a, a friend get his freedom as well, and it was clear then that the Rite of Annulment was looming over the Circle there.

[He takes a breath and reaches over, bringing Purrelden into his arms as some sort of shield.]

For seven years, after they took him away from me, I worked to find a way to prevent the Rite from happening. A peaceful way. Mages continued to die by the day, be made Tranquil by the day, and then Templars came down and slaughtered my network entirely. It became clear that there was nothing peaceful that would work.

[He takes a breath, and the words that continue are slow. Kirk will know soon enough anyway. Best to face up to it.]

The night it was clear that there was no more time, I acted. I destroyed the city's Chantry. I killed the Grand Cleric, and a couple dozen people within, in an attempt to stop the Rite. I crossed a line because I saw no other options. I believe in my cause. Those who are a part of my cause have no cause to believe in me.

_{[ Surprisingly, Kirk had not been given that, but then, he had no reason to be going around announcing he had been helping Anders either. There were some things he bragged about, but surprisingly he was rather humble. And he wasn't one to take what others said immediately to heart without speaking to the person in question first, if he could.

Quietly he listened as Anders asked, his eyes widened in points, but other than those minute facial motions he didn't make any sudden movements, or seem to otherwise balk.

He did not agree with the action Anders had taken, he could understand why it was he had come to the conclusion that was all there was to be done. What would he have done in that situation, back against the wall and something as horrendous and vile as the Annulment hanging over them? It did not make Anders' actions more acceptable. In Kirk's world they might have been considered war crimes - or perhaps an act of self defense. At the least he could give Anders credit for it being the last possible action he had tried, or so it sounded. Seven years of other methods was a lot, and Anders hardly struck him as the type to call for the wanton waste of life.

Only the sounds of the springs reigned for a long moment after Anders finished, Kirk mulling over the other's tale. His lips pursed, brows scrunched, but he did not seem overtly angry or repulsed. He had seen worse, done for far less reason, and Anders was hardly crowing about the deaths had been responsible for. If he had, Kirk would feel quite differently about it. ]}

I will be honest - I do not approve of the method you chose. It is not something I can condone, not ever, but I... I want to believe that for you there was no other option. I'm not sure what I would have done with someone threatening a genocide on innocent people.

_{[ He had not known what to do, once upon a time, in a darker place he didn't dare knock on. ]}

I imagine the decision you made has not been a popular one. Though that doesn't explain what it has to do helping rid you of the spirit sharing your body.

[He doesn't approve of his own method, which means Kirk's words get a slow nod. The last bit, though, gets a tight half smile.]

Justice was a key part of everything in Kirkwall. Some people are aware of it, some people aren't. Rather, people choose whether or not to be aware of it if they're read Varric's book. If I'd not... If I'd not taken Justice in, a great many things would have gone differently. And the Rite of Annulment would have happened. There's a lot that's complicated about this.

It sounds so.

But if it helps - I think what you did, the idea of it if not the method - was the right thing. I wouldn't have been able to stand by and let innocent people be murdered for any reason - religious or otherwise.

_{[ His hands rub his thighs beneath the water. The information gives a
new light to Anders, but it doesn't make Kirk fear him or loathe him. It is
more like disappointment. But even good men could make very bad decisions.
]}

And it doesn't change what I said. I'll still help you if you need it, and if the Chantry or any version of it tries to do what it did to the mages again, I'll stand with the mages.

[Purrelden starts fidgeting, not being the biggest fan of the water, and Anders sets her back on the ledge so she can try to catch her shadow. The quiet is also a good break for him to hear Kirk's words rather than respond right away.

Once she's thoroughly entertained by herself, Anders looks back at Kirk and nods his head again.]

It doesn't change how much we may need you, either. The Templars are looking for an opening, any opening, the Seekers, the Chantry... they've lost power because they're no longer 'saving the people from mages.'

[He makes quotation marks around the words.]

When you assure the population you're saving them, they'll follow your orders, trust you. They've lost some of the blind. They want them back.

Aye, and that makes them dangerous. I'm sure not all the Chantry's teachings are bad, but it is always sad to see people believe the righteousness of unfounded cruelty.

_{[ He makes a huffing sound, a little smile on his lips. ]}

The only thing I need saving from when it comes to mages is your uncanny ability to make people adopt kittens and Sam's ability to thoroughly distract me.

[Kirk gets a half-smile before Anders sinks back into the water up to his chin, leaning his head against a side.]

There will always be those who want to hurt others. When it's legal, they'll flourish. So long as it stays illegal this time they cannot feel empowered, they cannot be as cruel. Not on the list of cruel actions are lovers being distracting or people finding companionship in cats. You don't want Sam to stop, and if you try to stop me I'll make sure you wind up with a third.

_{[ He chortles as he leans his head back and closes his eyes. ]}

Are you threatening me with cats Anders?

I find it a great method of motivation.

[The smile grows a little and is audible now.]

Everyone, deep down, wants something fuzzy and affectionate and purring. Some simply aren't in touch with themselves enough to know so, and delude themselves into thinking that mabari or dogs are decent companions. I'm a helper. A healer, in more ways than one.

I'll be sure to come to you for a sleeping draught from being kept up all night by the kittens.

_{[ He flicked his fingers against the water to throw a few droplets
Anders' way. ]}

And I had all three of those things before the two additions, I'll have you know.

[He flicks water back in Kirk's direction.]

Fuzzy and affectionate I could guess at, but purring? It seems I've something new to tease Sam about, thank you. The sunburn has to be nearly gone by now, or at least gone enough to see blushing?

Just don't tell him where you got the idea.

_{[ Come on, you wouldn't put him in the dog house like that, would you Anders? ]}

Hah, it never hid the blush in the first place. You clearly just weren't trying hard enough.

The sunburn? It did an excellent job of hiding his blush.

[There's so much smugness in his voice right now.]

But I'm not following the other part. If you're going to insult my efforts, why should I not tell him anything? Shouldn't you be complimenting me or something?

You're the one who got me saddled with two kittens - compliments are going to be in short supply until they can sleep through the night.

_{[ Pouting at you now Anders. ]}

Besides, if you tell, I'll never give you helpful hints like that again.

[He stretches out, smirking, tucking his scarred wrists behind his head.]

You're welcome for the kittens.

[There's a beat as he lets the smugness linger, and then Anders' expression changes to a true smile.]

You know you appreciate the cats and giving me helpful hints. ...And I appreciate when my coworkers' relationships are working, because it makes the healing tents even better places to work. So I'll not get you in trouble with him.

_{[ He coughed sharply. ]}

We're not in a relationship. He's my friend, and it comes with certain benefits, is all.

_{[ He shrugged, because the idea of a relationship honestly terrified him. He ran from them back in his own world, and it wasn't any better here, especially when he didn't know how long he might be staying. A relationship, in that sense, seemed cruel. ]}

[He blinked, studying Kirk for a few moments.]

It's clear that it's just benefits? I haven't had it implied otherwise. I'd simply... read it differently.

It's clear.

_{[ For a multitude of reasons, and for a second Kirk's expression is saddened because of said reasons - or at least, the most prevalent ones. It would always been a cloud hanging over every connection he made here, which made every person he cared about painful. But he couldn't let that stop him of course. ]}

But by all means, use it to make him blush as much as you like.

_{[ Back to joking. It was so much easier than dealing with real issues about himself. ]}

[He sees the change in Kirk's expression, but with how quickly Kirk carries on Anders takes it that Kirk doesn't want to talk about it. Casual is fun. And then there's the complication that comes with rifters. Who knows if Kirk is staying or going home? Sam and Kirk are happy and that's fine.

Anders leans back and rests his head against the edge of the pool... just in reach of Purrelden who decides his hair is now a toy. This is life with cats.]

I do rather enjoy getting him flustered. It's a novelty, flustering a mage. The only recreation in my Circle was books or other mages, so blushing wasn't much a thing. Or it wasn't for long. I actually seduced one of... One of... I seduced someone older than me, once. He was gorgeous, I set my sights on him, and he didn't stand a chance. Most people I've set my sights on haven't stood a chance, really.

_{[ Kirk laughed softly, eyeing the other now with a bit more respect -
or was it a fellow seducer acknowledging a fellow seducer? ]}

Does that mean I should start watching my step around you, or should I say watch everyone else around you?

_{[ He grinned and winked flirtatiously. What? When he had opportunities
to flirt he took them, even if they weren't to be taken seriously. ]}

[Open] Save tonight, fight the break of dawn

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