"It's a statement about both of us. You can do much better than me and I'm certainly not worthy of someone like you. Just... take my word on this one, Pel," He says seriously, giving her a bittersweet, forced smile, regret and guilt once again creeping into his voice.
The truth of the matter is that she can't handle another Gavin. She likes him. She'll probably keep liking him. But she can't try to be some intravenous self-esteem drip for someone else. This has to be something Blackwall does for himself.
A fleeting smile.
"Well. Let me know if that changes. In the meantime, we can be friends, can't we? I like being around you."
"I certainly hope so," He says with a warm, genuine smile. With so many Wardens here, it felt like it was only a matter of time before he'd wind up in the dungeons, or worse. He couldn't bear the thought of dragging anyone else down with him, especially someone like Pel. It wasn't fair. She didn't know what she was signing up for and he couldn't tell her. They were much better off as friends, unless something changed dramatically.
Of course, now the idea was there, which was always a little problematic.
Not so bad at all, especially when he hadn't been expecting they were anything but friends. He eats a few mouthfuls, almost obediently, though really the pies were starting to cool which meant they were at their tastiest.
"These are terrific. What did you say you had to give for them? Maybe I can return the favor in a bit," He said contently before taking a drink of the ale Pel had brought.
"A couple of pads. Thick hide on one side, knitted wool on the other. The kitchen staff use them to pick up hot pans." She scoops up some gravy with a spoon and licks it clean. "I wonder if I could trade more for the recipe."
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"I've had that said to me before. But it's never been a statement that's about me. It's what people say when they don't like themselves much."
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A fleeting smile.
"Well. Let me know if that changes. In the meantime, we can be friends, can't we? I like being around you."
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Of course, now the idea was there, which was always a little problematic.
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"These are terrific. What did you say you had to give for them? Maybe I can return the favor in a bit," He said contently before taking a drink of the ale Pel had brought.
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