faderift | all of nature wild & free

Ruby listens in a shocked kind of silence. Granted, she found out that she was a fairy tale character kind of out of nowhere, but this is a whole different kind of weird. There was only so much denial you could go through when you were dealing with your own memories.

And what's the right thing to say? But hey, now you have more family! or Aw, you're still an only child, too, kinda. Both seemed horribly simplistic, hanging onto the old or naively cutting down the new and ignoring the complications.

"That's... wow." A little pause, and the faintest tug of a smile. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?" With that. Even if it's old news. It's never not going to be big news, far as she can figure out.

"Um. Comes and goes, but... mostly, yeah. I mean, it's a lot personally, but it opens up a lot scientifically too. Some of the tech - it's years ahead of where the mainstream thinks we are. I mean, it's also totally unregulated and pretty illegal, for the record but."

Cosima exhales. "Hey - I'm sorry. We were just going to have a drink, you didn't sign up to be my therapist."

"Hey, come on. It's totally okay. Some secrets'll just... weigh down on you if you have to try and keep your head wrapped around them all on your own." Ruby's smile is lopsided.

"I know a little about that. It's fine. And your secret's safe with me, for the record."

"Thanks." It's subdued, but very genuine. "So, who do you tell your secrets to?" It's half teasing; she doesn't seem to necessarily expect a real answer, but Cosima's afraid dwelling on her sisters could get maudlin.

"Me?"

Ruby is very surprised, shaking her head. "Secrets and I have a bad history, I prefer the open book approach. Keeps people safer."

Whiiiich means she sips her wine, and clears her throat. "So.... in fairness I guess that means you should know I'm also the Big Bad Wolf."

"Oh." Get it together, Cosima, that is a terrible response - "I mean... that had to be a major adjustment. When your memories came back. How does it work? If you don't mind the question."

Ruby may have just claimed to be an open book, but Cosima can still identify a sensitive subject when she sees one.

A slight wince. "Yeah."

That could have gone worse. "The Curse was... it was meant to rob us of our happy endings. Honestly, for a while I wanted the Curse back. Being Ruby was a whole lot easier than being Red."

And a little shrug, to indicate not minding. "I had to learn to control it. Wolfstime if I don't wear the hood, I can't stop the change. Rest of the time it's a matter of whether I let the Wolf out or not."

She smiles, still, but its a sad thing, being the monster people tell tales of.

Impulsively, Cosima reaches across the table to touch Ruby's hand, a gesture of support for a situation she's not quite sure she's got the words for. "That's got to be a lot of stress, right?" she says, quietly.

"Oh," Ruby starts with wavering brightness, "what girl hasn't been chased out of town with fire and pitchforks a few times?"

Feelings are hard and bad. The contact is nice, though, and she makes another attempt at a smile.

Edited 2016-08-02 23:34 (UTC)

"Pretty sure that's also the end of a lot of movies where someone builds you in a lab," Cosima observes with a crooked smile that's more rueful than not. "Fuck those guys, though, that's hateful and a giant cliche."

Oh, God. Ruby's eyes widen and she just-- "Crap, I'm sorry. God."

Stupid, Ruby. Nice going.

"You aren't a monster." Swallowing is oddly painful. "I, uh. Before I knew I was a Wolf, I kind of--"

Hhggrrhh.

"I killed some people. Ate them, actually. Including my boyfriend."

"No, that wasn't... you don't have to apologize to me." She lets go of Ruby's hand, then, but mainly so she can take a drink of wine. "How did you find out, eventually? If you didn't remember changing."

Cosima hadn't meant to make Ruby feel worse, and she feels badly equipped to help. But if nothing else, she can empathize with feeling apart from everyone around her. (And she wonders, sometimes, if she should have done something when it became clear Beth was unstable. It's not the same, not at all the same, but... even so.)

Ruby's hand closes in a loose fist, pensive. Wine seems like an extremely good idea, and she takes up her own glass.

"I thought Peter was the Wolf, and I td hin. He trusted me, so he chained himself up, and I stayed to keep him company, but I didn't have my hood, so...."

She swallows, then. Her throat feels raw. "Granny knew. She shot me with a silver bolt before I could hurt anyone else, and then Snow and I had to run." A smile, selfmocking. "Not quite like the girl in the stories."

"Shit," Cosima says, quietly, to that. "I think you got the worse deal, to be honest." Which, considering that the alternative is being eaten, is saying something. "I'm going to guess the Enchanted Forest wasn't big on therapy, either."

"Well—"

A little hum, and her smile is lingering out of habit more than out of any kind of joy. Class A Stepford Smiler, this one. "Archie became a therapist because of the Curse. He's, uh, the Cricket. Jiminy?"

Ruby shakes her head. "It is what it is. Sometimes you just have to learn to live with consequences. In my case, I had to learn to live with being... the monster parents warn their kids about. And dog puns. I don't think I got the worst deal out there, really."

"Wait, the 'always let your conscience be your guide' guy is a therapist? That... makes some sense, actually."

It's a side note, but. Still.

"Look, I don't think it's a raw deal Olympics, though, you know? Things can suck for you even if they may, theoretically, suck worse for someone else." Privately, Cosima thinks involuntarily murdering your boyfriend is something legitimately worth being upset about, for what it's worth, but she also seems more sympathetic than horrified.

"Doctor Hopper is very good at his job. And he has this awesome dalmatian called Pongo, I dunno if you'll be familiar..." She trails off, smile a little brighter, more genuine.

"How dare you," Ruby counters, raising her head. "Gold or bust. I want a medal."

"This is what I get for trying to use a sports metaphor," Cosima says, ruefully. "I could make you a little trophy, maybe."

"Hey, if you get really stuck you can just get a really tiny cheese wheel and hang it on a string, and I'll take it."

Damn those irresistible cheese wheels, damn them so much.

"Noted! Speaking of, do you guys play Scrabble for prizes, or just bragging rights? I mean, for future reference." It seems like Ruby might be grateful for the change of subject, at this point.

Oh, thank God. Cosima is the winner of one (1) grateful smile, even if there's no big deal made. What A Good. She can stay. "Actually we've not played a game yet. I'm still working on putting together a board somehow. Baby steps."

And she considers, for just a moment. "I feel like competitive scrabble could get dangerous, especially with all of us from different worlds."

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gently flips phone typos into the sun

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