[Open] Remembering one of the good guys

[justice_is_blond]

WHO: Anyone who knew/cared about Herc!
WHAT: A wake for Herc
WHEN: Around now, the 10th of Egg
WHERE: Tavern!
NOTES: Drinking, grief, etc.

There aren't any formalities here. The Calling has taken another Grey Warden, but for once he was known to more than Wardens and mourned by more than them too. The music is lively to start with, mostly because Herc probably would have grumped if it had all been sad and there's a tab at the bar open to anyone worthy. Granted, one has to manage to be polite to all the Grey Wardens for the duration of the wake to be deemed worthy, but that's not too hard, is it?

Hit up the bar, share a story, complain about how he owed you money, and remember someone who deserves it.

Comments

[pinprick]

"Bread." Nathaniel is pretty sure he drank too much. "Bread and--"

He comes down with a sudden case of hiccups.

"Bread and a ki--iss."

[justice_is_blond]

Nate gets a very small smile at the hiccups. It would be full, except hiccups could do some damage.

"I'll get the bread, and then I'll give you the kiss." Nate's hand gets a squeeze before Anders moves to the bartender and asks for an order of bread. A few moments later he's back, handing the basket over, and leaning in for a gentle kiss on Nate's lips. He has to keep it gentle. Otherwise his resolve to be careful could fail altogether too easily and they'd be headed for a room upstairs as Nate heads for a great deal of pain.

[pinprick]

Nathaniel can barely stand up, let alone...perform, if it were to come to it. He is very, very drunk. The hiccups are growing painful enough, sharp little pains spiderwebbing through his chest. Fortunately, they are short-lived. The last one dies against Anders' lips. He leans forward and slumps against Anders' chest, holding his bread loosely in his hand.

"You're wonderful. You made bread happen." And he takes a very solemn bite of the bread, after struggling to maneuver it into his mouth.

[justice_is_blond]

He wraps his arms around Nate, supporting him, threading fingers through his hair. "Eat up, love. I think we're going to get you back to the tents after this."

[pinprick]

"Noooo." Nathaniel wraps his arms around Anders' waist, bread still in one hand. "I'd just got the smell of the healing tents out of my nose."

[justice_is_blond]

He half laughs, kissing the top of Nate's head. "I know. But you need rest. And once you're fully rested we can have you back in our tent. Together. It's just a little more recovery, a little more keeping watch on your breathing, I promise."

There's a beat as he looks around. "But I can allow a few more moments. A little more mingling."

[pinprick]

A sigh of content. "I'd mingle with you," he mumbles. He's too drunk to sound properly suggestive.

[justice_is_blond]

"I wish you could, love." He doesn't need sex, but touches and affection definitely have an impact on his mood. Going without, and knowing on top of that that the going without is his own fault, gets tiresome.

"Let's get you back and comfortable, all right?"

[pinprick]

"Hard sweaty cot. Very comfortable." No doubt his bed linens have been changed and his pillows re-fluffed, but he associates his cot with pain now and there is no getting around it. He knows this, even drunk, and leans against Anders as he tries to gain his feet.

[justice_is_blond]

"I'm sorry." Gently he moves to support Nate and get the archer upright. "I'm sorry that you're hurt, and that there's not something better I can offer. I'd take your place if I could, the pain, the discomfort, all of it."

But he can't. So he'll do what he can, support, heal, and be there.

[pinprick]

"Don't...don't say that." Nathaniel clears his throat. He knows where Anders' mind is, even drunk. He knows he goes somewhere bad when he says those things. "Say instead...say 'thank you.' Say 'thank you for loving me so much you'll put yourself between me and a giant Vengeance demon.' Don't say 'sorry' when you mean 'thank you.' It demeans you, and nobody demeans you in front of me. Least of all you."

[justice_is_blond]

Nate gets a confused look as Anders carefully moves them forward. He is sorry, he regrets the injuries... but he's also thankful. And while he doesn't understand how it's demeaning, he'll take Nate's word for it.

"Thank you. But I still don't want you hurt. I'd still prefer to bear the injuries. I..." He values Nate more than he values himself, he'd been about to say, but that... means he's demeaning himself. But it's true. Nate's the better choice. Nate doesn't destroy everything he touches.

"I just want you well."

[pinprick]

"I wouldn't prefer that." Dammit, serious talk when drunk is hard. "It wouldn't be better if you were hurt. Because one of us would still be hurt. You don't have to be the one who hurts to make things better, Anders. Nobody has to hurt to make things better. Better is when nobody is hurt. And I'm getting there, with or without your guilt."

[justice_is_blond]

He hadn't thought about what Nate would prefer. Anders is very quiet for several minutes as they work their way back toward the tents.

"It... I mean, I'm used to being hurt. It's... It's not easier, but..." There's not really a case he's making here, just words. It's easier on him when he's the one that's hurt. "It hurts that you got hurt for me."

[pinprick]

"I'm used to being hurt too. Except nobody's really used to it." His point is undercut a bit when he stumbles, but he regains his footing with Anders' support. Damn the drink. Damn feelings. "You already...live in a world of pain. Swim in it. You think bearing more wouldn't be so bad, if it meant...but don't do that. Your pain doesn't make mine less. Your happiness does. Be happy. We're alive and together and you're safe. Everything else can wait."

[justice_is_blond]

Be happy. If he could figure out the trick to consistently do that, life would be so much easier. He doesn't know how to stop being in pain, either. Everything just seems to bring more.

"You know you make me happy, right?" He's not happy right now, sure, but generally just being the man makes him feel better. "And there's other times and people and things. And we're safe." Which is huge. Justice can never hurt Nate more, can no longer leave terrifying gaps in Anders' memory, can no longer threaten everyone around them.