003 🌿

[ancarrow]

WHO: Eirlys and OPEN
WHAT: Eirlys realises she belongs both to the Inquisition and the alienage, and simultaneously to neither of them.
WHEN: Beginning of Kingsway
WHERE: Skyhold, then Halamshiral
NOTES: If anyone has messages they'd like Eirlys to deliver to their CR in either Skyhold or Halamshiral, hit me up!

a) Skyhold
She'd made the journey back to Skyhold toward the end of August, to deliver a report about how things were going in Halamshiral. Eirlys is noticeably tired - not in the same washed-out way she's been noticed to be in the past, but a sort of determined resilience that's keeping her going despite how weary she is. She only stays a single night in Skyhold, making sure to do the rounds in the healing tents, and to deliver messages to friends of those that she'd left in the camp in Orlais.

It's during the latter activity when she finds out the news of Asher Hardie's death, and though she didn't know him well, she struggles to keep herself together when she remembers how she'd mixed the medicine into honey for him when she'd nursed him, the same way she'd done with her sister both in their childhood and more recently before her death. The purse he's left her, though, astounds her. She's never seen so much money all at once before, and she's not sure how best to put it to use. Placing it in the deep pocket of her cloak, she heads over to the chapel to pray to the Maker for him, but ends up just sitting with her head leaning against the stone wall, feeling rather numb.

Before she leaves, she ropes anyone she can find into an emergency session in the courtyard to make as many poultices and potions as she can to take back to Halamshiral with her, before loading them into the wagon along with anyone who wants to make the trip, watching Skyhold fade into the distance.


b) Halamshiral
It had become very clear to Eirlys, especially in the incident with the cart, that out here she wasn't regarded as a city elf with experiences and suffering in common with the elves of Halamshiral, but solely as a representative of the Inquisition - an outsider come to tell them how to live, one of a few token elves in a new offshoot of a human institution that had arguably bulldozed its way through southern Thedas. She couldn't blame them, there'd be plenty in Gwaren who'd be just as suspicious, but it still stings as the wagon moves through the narrow streets, knowing that most of the eyes that pass over her see her as an intruder and a target, and wondering whether the supplies she's bringing will even make it back to the camp.

The next few days sees her throwing herself into her work, helping with healing and renovating and logistics, but looking very nervous and unsure when she interacts with the local city elves and a little sad around the Inquisition, really not quite sure where she fits any more.

Comments

[ancarrow]

"Aye, though I think that's more the work of the medicine to calm his pain." She knows she's being modest, but it's something she uses almost as a defense, especially here where she knew that there was nothing she could really have done to heal him. It was a hazard of the job - sometimes people died and there was nothing she could do about it. But she knew that wasn't the sole reason why she was so shaken up by this death in particular.

[wontforgetyou]

"Och, I don't know about that. There's something to be said for having a kind lassie to treat your wounds, too."

Sometimes it's the company that helps, even in cases where there's nothing to be done to heal them. He'd seen that a few times himself - and if it ever got to the point where he there wasn't anything to do for him either, having someone kind and pretty there at the end would help.

"Even if it's a case where you can't help much, you're still there for them, Eirlys. That means more to a lot of people then you might think. I'd say maybe there's a fair chance it meant something to him, too." He tilted his head slightly, fixing her with a thoughtful look. "Is that what's bothering you, though? That you'd not been able to heal him?"

[ancarrow]

She offers him a gentle smile, grateful for his kind words, but she's still clearly troubled. "It's not that that's troubling me so much as..." She quickly glances around to make sure they're not being overheard. "Promise you'll tell no one? At least not yet, until I decide what I'm to do with it."

[wontforgetyou]

His brow furrows at that, not at all sure what could've sparked that reaction - but he's quick to nod in agreement. If it's something that she needs him to keep quiet about, then that's not a problem, although he's a little baffled as to what she could mean by 'it'.

"Aye, of course. What is it, then?"

[ancarrow]

Her eyes dart about furtively again before she draws back one side of her oilskin cloak, producing from a pocket she's sewn on the inside a rather sizeable purse of gold coins.

"He left this for me. It's more money than I've ever seen in my life," she whispers.

[wontforgetyou]

Eirlys isn't alone there. A purse that size is something that even he hasn't seen all that often, and he has to suppress the urge to let out a low whistle at the sight of it. He manages not to draw attention that way, but his eyebrows still wind up climbing up and disappearing into his bangs before he can stop them. That's a lot of money, that's for sure.

"I'll say. I've not seen that much all in one place all that often myself," he murmurs back. "Did he say what he wanted you to do with it?"

[ancarrow]

"It's for the alienages." She says it quickly, slightly louder, to make it absolutely certain that she wouldn't dream of misusing a penny of it on herself, then her voice reverts to the same hushed tone as before as she adds, "But it's to be left to my own discretion as to how its spent. I'm not exactly sure how to interpret that."

[wontforgetyou]

"Oh, I see."

The thought that maybe she'll want to use the money on herself doesn't even his mind. She doesn't strike him as the type - especially if it's meant for the alienages. He's not entirely sure what the problem is here, to be honest, and he gives her a slightly confused look before replying, still in a similarly hushed tone."

"So what's the problem, then? Could you not just pick a few places that need it the most and send it there? Or would it get stolen somehow that way?"

[ancarrow]

Everywhere needs it the most, and she feels it's impossible to choose. But even if she had a clear idea of where it would do the most good, it doesn't feel that simple to her.

"I'm not sure how much my best discretion and the Inquisition's match up, or which should take precedent."

[wontforgetyou]

Maybe she's right. It might not be all that simple, and he frowns before bringing a hand up to stroke his chin, thoughtfully.

"Alright, that is a point. Did Asher actually say anything about specifically having the Inquisition handle the money though, or was it just meant to help the alienages?"

Because the first one would probably make a lot of things easier, at least when it comes to decisions. The second one...he doesn't know.

[ancarrow]

"There was nothing specific about the Inquisition handling it," she admits, frowning. "But I'm the representative for all city elves here - I can't just go off and decide who's most deserving without due process. ...Can I?"

She isn't at all sure how any of the bureaucracy attached to the Inquisition works, or if she needs to pick that over what she knows would do the greatest good.

[wontforgetyou]

"Well, that depends. If you're representing the city elves, would you not be wanting to be looking out for their best interests? Seems to me if you go through the Inquisition you're going to wind up tied up in all the...er, I'd say red tape, but I don't know if you'd know what I mean by that."

He never knew what would make sense and what would just get blank expressions, and made a bit of a face before trying again.

"Let's go with all the paperwork, then. So it'd take longer, I'm thinking. That's assuming it even winds up going to where it's meant to go."

[ancarrow]

"That's what I worry about." She feels awful saying it, expecting to be struck down for voicing such a criticism of the same system that's raised her up and trusted her, but relieved that Jamie's confirming that her instincts aren't entirely paranoid. "I'd send it all home to Gwaren and be done with it, but I think it would come back to bite me if I did, especially after what Sister Nightingale told me on my return here."

[wontforgetyou]

It doesn't occur to him straight off that Sister Nightingale and Leilana are the same person. There's still a lot about Thedas that he's still not got a complete grasp on, and other names that some of the people here go by is one of them.

But it does seem like he might have still managed to hit on something that could be relevant to the situation, so rather than ask who Sister Nightingale actually was, he decided to just focus on one thing for now.

"So what did this sister wind up saying to you, then? Or it is something you can't tell me about?"

[ancarrow]

Eirlys' cheeks burn with the shame of how she'd been reprimanded, after confiding in Leliana her reasons for leaving and returning to the Inquisition. "She said that the Inquisition isn't a cause to be lightly abandoned, and that I should make any problems I have known to my superiors in the future."

[wontforgetyou]

Oh, so that's the reason, then. He goes quiet for a moment, but it's mostly to try and sort through what she's saying. He can get where she's coming from now, knowing that, but there's still something about it that's bothering him a little, and after a moment he figures that out.

"Aye, well, maybe so. But you'd not be leaving this time, would you? Even if you'd have to travel to take the money somewhere, would you not be able to...och, I don't know, work that in when you're in the area for other missions? Or go when there's not a specific mission, maybe? If you're still doing other work for the Inquisition, then they can't complain you're abandoning them."

[ancarrow]

"Maybe," Eirlys agrees, though she doesn't sound convinced. "Though I can see prioritising what I see as important over what the Inquisition sees as important a sort of abandonment in itself. A dereliction of duty, if nothing else." She sighs, feeling rather overwhelmed by the responsibility she feels and the additional guilt she's placing on herself. "I'll have to think things over. But thank you for listening. I do feel a little better."

[wontforgetyou]

It's a big responsibility, and Jamie can't imagine that it's going to be easy for her at all. He'd hoped that he'd have been able to come up with a better solution for her, but it's not the case. He regrets that, but there's not much he can do, other than maybe give her a bit of space to think things through. After a moment he nods, accepting what she's said.

"I'm sorry I wasn't any better help. Did you want to be by yourself for a bit, then?"

[ancarrow]

"Nonsense - simply being here for me is a great source of solace." Far more effective than the one she'd hoped to find by coming to chapel. She nods, knowing that she should probably turn things over in her mind a little more. "Aye, perhaps I should be alone for a while. But thank you Jamie, truly."