( open ) like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins

[eviscerates]

WHO: Ruby Lucas & open.
WHAT: Following the events of the missing shard bearer plot (here) Ruby insists on being taken to the dungeons and held there until she is fully detoxed from lyrium.
WHEN: From a gently timey-wimey point in mid-September to early October, at least. She may be in the dungeons longer, depends a bit.
WHERE: THE DUNGEONS, Skyhold.
NOTES: Rumours page & OOC report details, although the latter is more likely pertinent to people who were on the mission/were told about the mission directly/the advisors than general gossip. Alsi new cr is welcome! Ruby's info sheet is here.
WARNINGS: Horror themes! Reference to the events of the shard bearer plot, which include the Wolf attacking and eating people, forced lyrium ingestion, hallucinations, death, violence, torture.

She’s never forgotten that she’s a monster, that the people of Storybrooke had been ready to take up arms against her. Ruby Lucas wasn’t the sweet girl who remembered your coffee order and fixed you whiskey neat from the top shelf on a bad day. She was a vicious, wild thing. The Big Bad Wolf.

After the mission she told them to kill her or shackle her, and when she arrived back to Skyhold she refused to go to the medical tents. It wasn’t worth the risk - keep her locked up, keep her cloak bound across her throat so she couldn’t pull it away during a delirium. She had to stay in at least a month, she had to try and keep people safe.

The first two weeks she’s still recovering from her injuries and the lyrium is still distorting her memories and thoughts and what she sees, leaves her with a constant thirst and the unhealthy pallor in her skin is obvious. Treating the injuries will be ongoing, but the first week she sleeps almost constantly, and the second she is struggling with memories. If people visit during this time there is ever chance of her mind taking flashes from other people’s memories though she can’t make sense of much of anything.

After that she can be found in different states.

She might sit on the floor with her hands through the bars, putting together the most basic, non-volatile components and mechanisms for traps, setting then all in a box to be taken to the Requisition officer.

She might be standing with rotten fruit sliding down the side of her face and splattered across her clothes, perfectly still. Either the guard just hauled the offending fruit thrower who posed as a visitor out, or they might have been distracted by another job so the produce producers are there to be chased off. Unless your character would throw fruit? But then they might be hauled away.
(Note: probably only two of this one unless we work something particular out, just because I don’t want to undermine the efficiency of the Inquisition’s guards at protecting prisoners, even willing ones.)

Ruby may have stripped down some and be treating her wounds and attempting to change dressings and apply poultices, because healers shouldn’t have to go into her cell, as far as she’s concerned. Vicious puncture wounds dot her skin, perfect circular marks that are mostly uniform, but vary in size here and there. There is a jagged gash over her ribs and a burn across the other side, which make her hiss as she tries to pull the rank dressing away.

Or maybe she’s just sitting or lying down on her side, defeated and curled inward.

Wildcards welcome, pick your own location-limited adventure and give me an idea of timeframe/if you are okay with Ruby picking up memories or not if it’s set during the first couple of weeks.

Comments

[eviscerates]

"I'm not talking about what Thedas thinks about mages," Ruby replies, and there's something frustrated in her voice, something strained and exhausted. "I'm talking about what I am."

Mages aren't monsters, but the Big Bad Wolf is a villain. The Beast gets redemption in, but the Big Bad Wolf's best ending is to be cleaved into pieces. She is what she is. Red Riding Hood is an innocent skin that she doesn't deserve. (Sometimes she is glad that Thedas doesn't have those fairy tales, and sometimes she wishes they did so she could better make them understand.)

Her hands curl around the bars of her cell, and she shakes her head. "I'm going to let you all down. That's what Ruby Lucas does; screw up, with style. Except that instead of mixing in reds with the whites laundry, now I'm back to losing control and eating people."

Ruby's mouth twists. "Do you know what that's like? Waking up and realising the full feeling in your gut is because you tore people into pieces? Fortitude isn't— I have had fortitude. I have strength. That doesn't do anything if the Wolf takes over."

[gatheringstorm]

Korrin listens without interruption, and yeah, the whole eating people thing has her grimacing slightly, but she remains where she is. Whatever else can be said about Ruby's state now, the rifter woman is stable and coherent. She's not the Wolf, not now. She sighs deeply and shakes her head. "No, I don't know what that's like. I won't pretend I have even the slightest inkling and I wish you never did. I've slipped up and hurt people with magic, but...." Losing control and eating them? No. The would be a hunger demon abomination, here.

"What causes it to take over? Aside from Venatori being evil, vile fucks? It can't be random, so what sets it off?" Or she assumes it can't be random, because otherwise there'd be a lot more incidents by now. Not focusing on that particular mental image is for the best, though.

[eviscerates]

Ruby is silent for a long while, though whether she's thinking or just struggling is another matter completely.

"I used to have these nightmares every Wolfstime - around the full moon. Before the Wolf manifested, or before I... matured into it, I guess, I'd have these dreams. It was like there was nothing in the world but darkness, and I was being sucked into this tar pit that I couldn't escape. Like hands were reaching up and pulling me down. And then when I was old enough, my Granny got me my red cloak. Kept me from changing, and didn't tell me why I always had to wear it. Just said that red repelled wolves, but never said what I was, because she didn't want me to have that burden, which worked just great until I thought I knew better than my ridiculous Granny and that stupid cloak. I mean, who wears a cloak to sleep, right?"

She shakes her head; this isn't the point.

"Every full moon it's the Wolf that takes over, unless I wear the cloak. And before I learned that I needed to embrace the Wolf, fighting it or trying not to be the Wolf meant that the human side always lost. When I embrace the Wolf, and I know that I'm both, then I'm in control. I have Wolf instincts, but the Wolf is tempered by Ruby. I haven't lost control like that because of what someone else did to me ever before. I know how to control the Wolf, but I feel like I don't know any more."

[gatheringstorm]

Do Thedosian werewolves have anything to do with the full moon? Korrin tries to recall, but it's been some time since she's heard those legends. That they're possessed by rage demons has stuck in her mind, though in the end it's not relevant. Ruby is a werewolf of another kind, thankfully.

Eyes drifting to that cloak, Korrin nods in thought, a frown of sympathy tugging at her lips as she adjust her sitting position. "A full moon, got it. And that makes a lot of sense, embracing both sides. It sounds like you need that part to click within you again. Not just knowing it in your mind, but your gut, too. Sometimes that part takes a while to catch up, but you have that. The next full moon shouldn't be around for three weeks.

And yeah, I really do think a lot of this is the lyrium talking. Not the past stuff, but now. When you have that crap completely out of your system, you'll feel a lot more yourself again. Just give it time. And believe me, I know that part sucks. I hate waiting."

[eviscerates]

For a long time Ruby stays quiet, fingers curled into the cloak, thumb brushing over the smoother portions of it that come with the brocade pattern, that even after all these years still felt silky. Her grandmother has sacrificed a lot to get her this cloak, pieces of herself and of her own memories. Sometimes Ruby felt like people only got the worst impression of Granny from what she said, but the fact was that Eugenia Lucas would go to the ends of the earth to protect her, and she'd done her best. She'd tried.

"Some people— the pack that taught me how to control the Wolf were dangerous in a different way. They thought they were... maybe not better than humans, but totally separate. They wanted to be Wolves first, you know? Humans were outsiders, they were threats. My mother told me that I had to pick the Wolf, and my Granny thought I could only be human, but— I just didn't want to be a killer. I just wanted to be me, and that's both."

Her gaze drops, and she shrugs, instantly regretting the action when her body protests the motion that shifts her muscles and tugs her wounds. "I spent twenty-eight years under a curse. Believe me, I know all about waiting."

Although, admittedly, she hadn't known she was waiting at the time. Before she'd known she'd have to wait, and afterwards she'd felt the loss of twenty-eight years, but at the time she'd just been a lost young woman who couldn't figure herself out.

[gatheringstorm]

"Twenty-eight years? Yeah, I'd say you would." That's more time than Korrin's been alive, period, and though she doesn't often feel young this might be an exception. But focusing on Ruby rather than herself, her gaze is more impressed and sympathetic than anything else.

"It's not like some humans haven't gone out of their way to be threats, but yeah, I can see why going to that other extreme would be just as unhealthy. Telling you what you should be rather than letting you figure it out for yourself--that's pure bullshit. Especially when it sounds like you have a better grasp of balance than anyone else in that mess. If you're happier being both, be both. Once you're better, you'll have the control you need not to worry about hurting anyone."

[eviscerates]

"That's how they justified it. Humans were a threat to Wolves, so they couldn't be trusted, couldn't be allowed to live if they crossed our paths."

It was an exhausting thing, being asked to deny part of yourself, from either side. It made looking at Thedas exhausting sometimes, too. Ruby isn't sure, mind, that happier is the right word for it. Failing to be human lead to being chased with torches and pitchforks. Failing to be a Wolf lead to being exiled from a pack, hunted by them.

"Maybe you're right," she replies, although it's rather muted. "Maybe it'll be fine."

[gatheringstorm]

"But they were humans, too, partly. Denying a part of yourself never seems to do anyone any favors. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of good from people just accepting what they are, all of it.

I don't want to promise it'll be fine, but...try to give yourself a chance. More time and more distance from lyrium can't hurt." She leans over and pours some water to share. "I brought some macarons, too. Araceli loves them, so Burly might have gone overboard. She doesn't need that many, I promise."

[eviscerates]

"Far as they were concerned? Calling them human—" Ugh. There is a comparison, something that makes sense that her mind struggles to grasp. Something she read or heard, something relevant, and it's evading her. "They gave up human towns, lived in the forest. Humans were the enemy and it— they were happy. Being human is more than just the body you have."

There, that's it. "It's like if someone said all Tal-Vashoth are denying a part of themselves buy leaving the Qun. And it's different at the same time, but..."

She makes a frustrated sound at herself. Her head won't work properly.

The water is taken with a quietly murmured thanks before she sips it, and lowers the cup a little. "Burly does make really good macarons."

[gatheringstorm]

The Tal-Vashoth comparison has Korrin grimacing, a kneejerk response as she can't help but think about her parents being told that. It would so not end well for anyone dumb enough to say it. She turns her attention back to Ruby soon enough, though, passing on a macaron.

"He's a lifesaver like that." She doesn't take any for herself, knowing she can get more later on. These are for Ruby alone. "I guess it's good for all involved that they didn't cross over here, then. That sounds like it would have been a disaster on all fronts. For what it's worth, I think you're worth more than the rest of them put together."

[eviscerates]

She finishes the water, first, and her after she sets down the cup her hand wavers over the macarons. One moment of hesitation only, and she finally takes one, inhaling the scent to help her deduce the flavour, see if her senses are a little more settled. It's been hit and miss.

Her smile tugs a little, with that.

"I killed their Matriarch. Accidentally, but... I can see why they'd have some problems with me." Still. "It gets lonely, though, being the only one of your kind. I haven't seen anyone like me since before the Curse. I don't even know if there are any left."

[gatheringstorm]

"Your kind seem pretty damn resourceful. I wouldn't be at all surprised if others are still out there. Maybe there's a reason you haven't found them yet, magic hiding there whereabouts or something." Korrin shrugs, not knowing if she's right and there's no way to check from here, but she wouldn't be surprised at that outcome. "...and who knows, some might cross over into Thedas. Just because trouble can emerge through the rifts doesn't mean good things can do the same. I've more than enough reason to believe that."

[eviscerates]

"Maybe. I mean, I should be able to track them by scent, or something. There was no trace of them in Storybrooke, I looked. So either they're still in Misthaven, and the most recent Curse just didn't bring any of them over, or there aren't any more. We're a rare breed, literally."

She smiles, a crooked, tentative thing. She worries sometimes, about the people who are so earnest and eager to believe in the best outcome. Maybe Ruby's hypocritical, when she believes so passionately in some of the people in her life, but if she's honest she was terrified each moment about Emma when she was here last, about her being the Dark One. She believed in her so much, and yet she had seen people entangled in Dark magic before. And knowing that Emma is from another time, had been from another time before and that time doesn't seem to matter? The Evil Queen could come here. Rumpelstiltskin could come here, or Zelena, or Cora. Causing trouble was the least of it.

"I've heard stories about some wolves in the Brecilian Forest. I probably need to go check it out, once I'm out of here."

[gatheringstorm]

That idea has Korrin nodding thoughtfully. "I've heard the same. Talk to Zevran or Alistair about that; they visited the forest with the Hero of Ferelden during the Fifth Blight, so they must know more. For my part, I've only visited the edge of the forest, not gone deeper within. So, there isn't much I can say about it personally, or what you'll find inside. But still, if you don't want to travel there alone, I'm willing to join you. I'm pretty sure you'd have more volunteers, too."