faderift | [open] got tired of wastin gas livin above the planet

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[open] got tired of wastin gas livin above the planet

WHO: Ser Cade and yoooouuu
WHAT: Futzing about, trying to suck less, possibly failing
WHEN: Before he leaves for Kinloch Hold and everyone's dreams are broken
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Lemme know if you want a specific starter! Also negative CR is always welcome (read: inevitable), so please don't be afraid to either provoke it or ask me how it could be provoked on my end.

He's here, he's fairly anti-queer, he's not quite as vanished as he always tries to be but considerably moreso than the average person!

Cade can be found in a variety of places for those who care to look or just happen upon him accidentally, for better or worse. One of such locations is

the library, where he can occasionally be found curled up in a chair with a dessert of some kind and a smutty romance novel that he'll pretend is anything but. He'd take them to his room, but that seems a whole lot more sinful so maybe not.

The kitchen is where he acquires the aforementioned sugary snacks, for which he has a particular fondness. One of the cooks likes him, which raises the Likes Cade tally to about four.

Another such place is the Herald's Rest, where he is That Guy In the Corner, but less mysterious and brooding and more awkward and afraid someone's going to demand his lunch money. He averts his eyes from most people, but will talk to them if they approach and have a stronger personality than his own (which isn't hard).

In the courtyard, on his breaks, he can often be found sitting against a wall and fiddling relentlessly with a puzzle box. It can be funny to watch, especially when he gets super frustrated and goes red all the way to his ears. Life's hard.

Lastly, those who have busienss with Seeker Darton or Knight-Commander Norrington will first have to penetrate the receptionist's desk, wherein Cade is at his most dutiful and confident unless someone deliberately tries to make him uncomfortable. Which they never would, that's ridiculous.
(Do not actually penetrate the desk.)

[If none of those make you happy, toss me a PM and we can set up a starter. Or give me a wildcard if you like!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

As instructed, Cade makes his way to the battlements. He's dressed a little more nicely than usual, for reasons that are probably secret, or perhaps he just wants to make a good impression. As he always is when he's about to approach a Dalish unaccompanied, he's clearly nervous, but their rapport has improved over time and he can only hope he's not about to get murdered. Fleetingly, it strikes him that he is dismayed by the prospect of dying. It's a welcome realization.

Beleth is sitting on the battlements, turned to look at Skyhold as she kicks her legs idly. She certainly doesn't appear to be prepared to murder him and toss his body from the ramparts, but who can really tell? Maybe it's just an act to throw him off his guard.

When she sees him approaching, she doesn't attempt to kill him, but instead smiles cheerfully, hopping down from her perch, and turns to face him. "You came." She notes, just in case he hadn't puzzled that one out himself. She looks pretty happy about it--she wasn't sure he would. Maybe he didn't really care that much. Maybe he wanted her to leave him alone. But he'd came to meet her.

"I--Um. I wanted to apologize. In person." She pauses, then presses her hands together, and ducks her head at him. "I'm, um. I'm sorry, Cade. That I upset you. It was really, really dumb."

He doesn't attempt to kill her either, which means they're growing!
He stands there all still and awkward and a bit conufused while Beleth apologizes, as before looking as though he entirely fails to understand why this would be necessary. "It wasn't your fault," he says uncertainly, "...it's... never been your fault." He may be a crazy person, but at the very least, he's learned to own it.

There's a brief look on her face that matches his own, confused and uncertain--he's not responding right, why does he never respond right? Why doesn't he just let her take the guilt? But she deals with it, she's getting more used to his refusal to let her take blame.

"I should have thought about my words more carefully. I--I know that you had, um. Issues in Kirkwall. And I didn't think--" She pauses, and decides that getting into that is the very last thing she wants to do, right under trying to give Baron Plucky a bath. "--I didn't think." She finishes, eyes flicking up at him again.

"...But. Thank you. It's--" She pauses again, trying to find the words. "--Nice. To have someone say it's not my fault. Things are my fault...a lot." Visiting her mother again brought up some Issues, and bad habits, poor trains of thought, that haven't quite been smoothed back over by Skyhold yet.

Because HE has to take the guilt! He's a jello mold of despair, everything just absorbs into him instead of bouncing off or making any kind of satisfying sound.
Cade is, however, glad that Beleth opts not to bring up the whole shitshow again, and even gives a tiny smile of pure relief when she changes the subject. He's not sure where exactly her point of view comes from, but it's one he relates to now.
"...me too," he admits, doubting she needs to be reminded. "It's... sort of my specialty now."

Beleth can't help it--there's a twinge of a smile on her lips, not necessarily one of humor, but the wryness of connecting with someone over something so damn stupid. "It's awful, isn't it?" She shakes her head, hand going up to rub the bridge of her nose. "I don't think it's your fault, for the record. But that hardly matters, does it? It's easier to take the blame."

That's probably...a little dark, isn't it? So instead, Beleth props her hands on her hips, and gives him her very best fake pout--one that's meant to not be taken seriously.

"But you did ignore my noodle joke! It was a really good one, too."

At first Cade is worried by the face she's pulling, but when all she complains about is the noodle joke, he realizes things are probably going to be all right. He even smiles a little more, the expression accompanied by a reddening of his treacherously pale face.
"I'm sorry," he says, the very picture of contrition, "...it was pretty good."

She smiles at his compliment, ducking her head slightly. "Thank you. I, ah--I didn't make it, though. My brother is really good at jokes, and I just...heard so many of them that I know a lot." She paused, glancing off to the side as she plucked at her scarf. "...Though a lot of them aren't that good."

git rekt sorrel

But then she turns back to Cade, a shy smile on her lips. "I don't think I've ever heard you laugh. So I wanted to see if I get you to. But smiling is pretty close, I don't see you do that very often, either."

Which makes sense, because he doesn't, not often. But when she smiles back at him, he can't help it, and his face pinkens despite his wishes.
"...sorry," he says again, angling his head slightly away so she can't see his face quite as well. He isn't sure what he's apologizing for, but when in doubt, it's a safe response.

"Well," Beleth angles her head to try to look at his face. "You don't need to apologize, but if you feel really bad about it, you can work on laughing more often. Or at least smiling." There's a smile of her own tugging at her lips, as she raises an eyebrow at him. This, she thinks, suits him better than the constant misery he seems to radiate normally. It proves her right, she's pretty sure. That gettibg closer to Cade wasn't a terrible idea. That underneath all that misfortune, there's a person worth knowing.

"I can try telling more jokes. Or--stories, maybe. Or just hang around, I've been told my face is funny enough on its own."

This is a game in and of itself, avoiding Beleth's gaze, especially while she's telling him to laugh. Cade can feel that he's going redder, but somehow he doesn't entirely mind it for once. She might be making fun of him, but it feels a bit more... equal.
Her comment on her own face is enough to give him pause, however. "No it isn't," he insists with sudden seriousness, furrowing his brow.

She blinks, caught off guard by both his seriousness, and the reason for it. "You mean--my face?" She reaches up and touches her cheek, as if perhaps to ascertain the claim for herself. It had just been a silly, self-deprecating little joke, but--It felt nice. To hear someone insist otherwise. Suddenly, she feels as awkward as Cade seems to, and glances to the side herself. It's safer to fidget with her scarf than to acknowledge her face might be getting warmer herself.

"...Do you really think so?" Okay so that's totally fishing for compliments, but fuck it, she deserves it.

Oh, no. He couldn't have prepared for this.
Cade looks back at her as if in surprise, then away again, anxious; this isn't what he bargained for, and he has no idea how to answer. But here she is, waiting for it, and he can't just... not.
"It's just, uh..." he begins, "well I mean, there..." Calling her pretty is beyond unthinkable. He would die somehow. Of this he's sure.
"...there's lines all over it," he supplies instead. Why does that make it not funny? It doesn't matter. He's going to die.

"..."

It is clear within seconds of the words leaving Cade's mouth that he has said The Wrong Thing. Her smile drops clear off her face, leaving behind a decidedly unamused, deadpan expression. She doesn't even say anything for a good, long while. She just keeps staring, letting Cade ruminate in where, exactly, he went wrong.

And just in case he can't puzzle it out for himself, when she finally speaks...

"Lines." She repeats him, and reaches into the very depth of her soul to pull out a second chance for Cade to not completely fuck this up. "Lines. Really."

Oh no. Oh no.
He can't even conceive of how to not fuck it up. The Dalish have lines on their faces!! It's a fact!! He knows it's called something else, but he can't be expected to remember every word in every foreign language, can he?
His eyes dart this way and that as they periodically return to meet Beleth's, his face going quite red again as he tries to quiet the klaxons going off in his brain.
"Um," he tries again, unconsciously leaning back from her, "tattoos...?"

That is exactly one whole step up. Not enough for Beleth to stop staring at him like he has just managed to dig the bar of standards Beleth sets for human conduct lower than what she assumed was physically possible. But. Enough not to just turn around and stomp off. Which, honestly, Cade may have preferred.

"My face is saved from being funny...by my vallaslin," She clarifies, crossing her arms. "I'm sure the Creators are pleased at such a recommendation. If I had been a city elf, I suppose I would have just had to resign myself to an unfortunate face?"

To be fair, this is the person who thought she was a servant for the first several times he met her. ...and then beat her half to death in the same trip. If her standards for Cade are above bare minimum, she may be deluding herself.
However, he knows when he's done wrong. Unfortunately, he just doesn't know how to undo it.
"...no," he says lamely, "I'm.. that's not what I said." He seems to recede into himself, his shoulders hunching as though he wants to curl into a ball and disappear.

She probably is deluding herself, she realizes, and it's a rather frustrating realization. Both that she expects more out of him, and that he can't live up to even those expectations. She wants to grab him and shake him until whatever makes him so damn socially incompetent falls out, but--well. Even if that were possible, it would be a terrible idea.

It doesn't help that he's now doing that thing where he looks like a kicked puppy, and now she has to deal with guilt and frustration. Because she's the bad person for wanting him to say something a little kinder than noting 'lines' on her face. Sylaise, grant her strength.

Now she has to decide what to do about this, exactly. Walking away would certainly be the easiest option, and she wouldn't have to deal with...all of this. But. But. Leaving Cade here like this, knowing he'd done wrong and that someone was ditching him again because of it...Ugh. Ugh!!!

"When you want to compliment someone," She starts out, because damb it, if he has to learn than she might as well be the teacher, "You pick out features that you like, and say nice things about them. For instance--" She opens her eyes, and turns to look at Cade. "I like how curly your hair is, with all the little ringlets. I think it looks nice."

Of course, if Cade knew all the trouble he's causing in Beleth's mind, he'd feel even worse. Perhaps it's better this way.
"I know," he says in a sigh of resignation, but is caught off-guard when she compliments him. He looks at her for a moment, touches his head, and goes red again. "...thanks," he whispers.
Should he compliment her back? Is that appropriate, under the circumstances?
"I... didn't mean anything bad. ...about your face." He's trying, at least. "Um, it's nice. Your face."

"That...is a start," She allows. It's not a great start, it's kind of the limp-wristed handshake version of a compliment, but...everything needs a start to get anywhere, right? "And--um. Thank you." She adds quickly, because she's not rude.

"It also helps if you pick out individual traits about what you're complimenting. Like how I noted the ringlets in your hair. It makes it feel more personalized. So the other person knows you're not just blathering, but that you've studied them, and thought on this before you said anything. Though..." She glances up at him again, expression thoughtful. "I think your biggest issue is that you don't sound confident in what you're saying. If you sound unsure when you say something nice to someone, then how can they be sure that you really feel that way?"

It's...a little odd, giving instructions like this. But the man needs to know, before he tries it on someone who isn't her. "You can also compare their features to something else--something that's flattering, mind you. Like--your eyes are the color of cornflowers. Flowers are pretty, so comparing your eyes to flowers says that they're pretty, too."

"I know," Cade says again, a bit more impatiently-- he rolls his eyes to boot, definitely making a good impression. "...I know what a compliment is." Which isn't to say why he's apparently incapable of giving one, but this just got way more awkward than he's competent at dealing with.
"I'm just..." He glances around conspicuously, shuffling his feet and hunching his shoulders, "...I'm not sure I should." Merrick could be around any corner. Or anyone else who disapproves, really.

She's not sure if she's more affronted at the guff he's giving her, or impressed that he's bothering to try to give her it in the first place. After some thought, she decides on affronted, and raises an eyebrow at him.

"I know what a backflip is, but that doesn't mean I can do it with any skill or grace." She informs him primly, placing a hand on her waist. "Nor does it mean that I should sass someone who's trying to give me tips." She pauses for a moment, and shrugs, turning to casually look over Skyhold. She doesn't really care. Look how much she doesn't care.

"But, I mean, you're hardly obligated to take my advice, or to compliment me, or...whatever." She waves her hand around flippantly. "...I just wanted to make sure you didn't get yourself in trouble if you ever try it on another girl in the future."

Cade furrows his brow when the guff is given back-- he's not about to get violent of course, since in a matter of speaking that isn't in his nature. He is, however, content to be a pissy baby when someone takes this tone with him.
"I'm not sassing you," he mumbles indignantly, and looks away with a face like 'can you believe this' even though nobody else is there. When she concludes, he has a quick answer.
"That's not likely to happen," he informs her, probably the most direct thing he's ever said.

Well, she can think of a variety of answers to that, ranging from far kinder than he deserves, to rude, to outright malevolent. She certainly doesn't feel particularly motivated to soothe his feelings anymore, not while he's being a little shit, but she went through enough trouble already that she would feel like her time would be wasted if she just stomped off right then and there.

So, instead, she makes her tone slightly more amicable, but still raises an eyebrow when she turns back to face him. "Yes, you are. You're sassing me right now." Then she pauses, and lifts a hand up and shrugs.

"I think I prefer this to you not even looking me in the face, though."

He doesn't know what to do with this information. Sassing is a thing one does to one's superiors, which he wouldn't dream of; this is just... Cade frowns as he deliberates. It's a disagreement, and though he's not bold enough to have had many, he's pretty sure they're supposed to be like this. And here he thought she'd summoned him out to...
...what did she want? Besides, you know. The things she said in the letter.
Cade pouts for several more seconds before his irritation fizzles, and he rolls his eyes again, but in a more self-effacing way. "Sorry," he grumbles, hesitates, and adds, "...I don't know what to say."

[open] got tired of wastin gas livin above the planet

BELETH

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