[open] got tired of wastin gas livin above the planet

[onlyhymns]

WHO: Ser Cade and yoooouuu
WHAT: Futzing about, trying to suck less, possibly failing
WHEN: Before he leaves for Kinloch Hold and everyone's dreams are broken
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Lemme know if you want a specific starter! Also negative CR is always welcome (read: inevitable), so please don't be afraid to either provoke it or ask me how it could be provoked on my end.

He's here, he's fairly anti-queer, he's not quite as vanished as he always tries to be but considerably moreso than the average person!

Cade can be found in a variety of places for those who care to look or just happen upon him accidentally, for better or worse. One of such locations is

the library, where he can occasionally be found curled up in a chair with a dessert of some kind and a smutty romance novel that he'll pretend is anything but. He'd take them to his room, but that seems a whole lot more sinful so maybe not.

The kitchen is where he acquires the aforementioned sugary snacks, for which he has a particular fondness. One of the cooks likes him, which raises the Likes Cade tally to about four.

Another such place is the Herald's Rest, where he is That Guy In the Corner, but less mysterious and brooding and more awkward and afraid someone's going to demand his lunch money. He averts his eyes from most people, but will talk to them if they approach and have a stronger personality than his own (which isn't hard).

In the courtyard, on his breaks, he can often be found sitting against a wall and fiddling relentlessly with a puzzle box. It can be funny to watch, especially when he gets super frustrated and goes red all the way to his ears. Life's hard.


Lastly, those who have busienss with Seeker Darton or Knight-Commander Norrington will first have to penetrate the receptionist's desk, wherein Cade is at his most dutiful and confident unless someone deliberately tries to make him uncomfortable. Which they never would, that's ridiculous.
(Do not actually penetrate the desk.)

[If none of those make you happy, toss me a PM and we can set up a starter. Or give me a wildcard if you like!]

Comments

[onlyhymns]

Cade shakes his head, then clears his throat again, murmuring "not entirely, no." He glances to Bull and away again, constantly assessing his expression, looking for any indication of anger or mockery.
"There are, um. ...a few things I do," he murmurs, looking down at his hands and somewhat afraid to elaborate, "but I still... worry. About control."

[qunari]

"Means you're not an idiot. Good start." He's not trying to be mean, the faint flicker at the corner of his mouth says as much. It's not mockery, more wry humor. Yeah, it sucks, doesn't it? Been there, done that.

"Feel like talking about what you've tried? We can start from there."

[onlyhymns]

The Iron Bull's response is blunt, but the encouragement of it finds Cade a bit further emboldened. He's not an idiot. That's a good thing. The corner of his own mouth twitches upward, and he glances briefly into the Qunari's eyes before his own flit away again.

"Well I, um..." he begins, trails off, covers his mouth, clears his throat, and collects himself. "...I'd hit myself," he mumbles, keeping his voice low, his face already going red. He knows this to be a shameful thing that shameful people do, and this is only the second time he's opened up about it. "...and... pray. A lot. Lots of praying." He clears his throat again and drops his hand to clasp with the other, fidgeting. "Um... someone else does the hitting now. And it helps. ...he knows how to do it right. I think." He had no idea there was a 'right' way to beat someone, but apparently...
"...but he can't always be there. And I'm." He stares hard at the floor. "...weak."

[qunari]

"You know why it helps?"

Because he does. Knows the reason it helps him, anyway. And untangling the shameful part of it might be of benefit to him. Whatever the chances of that are. The Chant loves shaming people left and right for whatever it doesn't rightly approve of.

Still, he's going to be patient with the guy, and that expression? Absolutely zero judgement.

[onlyhymns]

This Cade actually doesn't know. Zevran has explained it before, he's certain, but it's hard to wrap his head around, especially with everything he knows about the Chantry and how it sees such things. It's supposed to be a punishment of the body and soul, not a relief for either. He's not supposed to enjoy it. And yet...

"I'm not sure," he says, glancing apologetically to the Iron Bull. "...it's.. a reminder?" That doesn't seem right. Nothing short of death could make him forget most of the things he does wrong, or prevent his anxiety that he'll do them again.