faderift | [Closed] Did you see the flares fill with hope?

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[Closed] Did you see the flares fill with hope?

WHO: Hermione and Iskandar
WHAT: Iskandar is a charming charmer, which helps when Hermione needs a distraction.
WHEN: 17 Harvestmere
WHERE: The stables
NOTES: If they start talking about depressing stuff again, we'll warn for it in the subject line. Otherwise, this will probably be the fluffiest log Hermione's ever done.

While the status quo in Thedas was still thoroughly depressing, Hermione found that the best way to keep herself out of the grips of depression was to keep herself distracted. Going out on actual missions was still out of the question, though, and she made it a point to keep herself scarce if she saw anyone of actual rank approaching her (aside from the Commander, since he usually just let her sit in his office and play with his mabari). Since the library had come to be known as her usual haunt, she'd forced herself to leave in favor of the outdoors a bit more often.

Which was what had brought her to the stables on more than one occasion. She could usually find something to do there to occupy her time, and on this particular day, that included trying to catch one one of the kittens that loitered around the area. She didn't know if it belonged to someone or was a stray that had somehow wandered its way here, but it was looking a bit thin, and so she tried luring it out from one of the stalls with a small bit of apple she happened to have on hand.

When a few minutes of coaxing didn't do the trick, she righted herself, only to look up and realize that she wasn't the only one there. A familiar, very large man was standing not too far away, and he seemed to have taken notice of her at some point. "Hello, Iskandar," she said, managing a small but at least genuine smile. "What brings you here?"

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Hermione felt stuck for a moment, feeling as though she'd somehow manage to stick her foot in her mouth. It wasn't often that she managed that, so she was left without an immediate response, not knowing what she could actually say, if anything at all.

Eventually, though, she found her voice and forced out, "H- Harry. Harry Potter." She fell quiet again, as though afraid that anything else she might say would only make things worse.

Though it could go either way at this point, she eventually settled on bringing up, "He was only a baby when he ended his first war. They called him The Boy Who Lived, since he'd been the only person to survive the Killing Curse. So you see, there have been stories about him since long before he even knew how to talk. It's still not necessarily a good thing, of course, since he'd never much liked being singled out and treated differently."

"That is such a weight to carry! But that is why it is good he has friends like you with him. That is a treasure that no one can replace. While he has been through so much, such a weight can be easier to carry when there are those around willing to lend a hand."

He smiled at her warmly. Then he reached out to take her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Just enough to reassure her that everything was going to be fine. Sadness was not something to fear or run away from. He had plenty in his life and he wasn't worried about it.

"How did you meet him?"

It was at that point that Hermione decided she would never be able to fully understand Iskandar nor how to converse with him. Having him constantly turn conversations on their head to make them become somehow complimentary and inspirational was so far out of her usual scope of experience that she just didn't know how to respond.

But he meant well, and he knew that she'd meant well, so she offered him a small smile as she attempted to return the squeeze to his much larger hand.

"We met on the train to school. I... didn't realize until some time later that he didn't like me very much, or that most people didn't like me very much, but I was a much different sort of person at eleven than I am now at... 20." There was a slight pause there, because while she'd silently acknowledged that her birthday had been the month before, it hadn't quite sunk in that she was now 20. That was going to take some getting used to. "At any rate, despite that, he and his best friend Ron still put themselves in danger to save my life, and we've all been friends ever since."

"What good people they are! To save a person they did not get along with!"

He looked truly impressed by that, well aware that many would not have the courage to do something like those boys had done. Not to mention doing so for someone they didn't like. At such young ages that shouldn't have crossed their minds at all yet here Hermione was as proof of them having that ability to place others before themselves.

"You have such fine blessings in your life to have such treasured people as your friends."

Hermione couldn't help cracking a small smile at that. "Of course they saved me. The guilt would have eaten away at them otherwise."

She knew she was being blithe about it, but she was only repeating what Harry and Ron had dryly told her themselves on numerous occasions over the years. That was the sort of joking that happened among best friends, even if there was little doubt in her mind that that may have been the case initially. The fear of guilt can be a huge push away from inaction.

Even so, he wasn't wrong. In a softer voice, she added, "Even so, I suppose I am lucky that we'd all found each other and became friends how and when we had. I don't know that I believe that things happen for a reason, but if I did...." At that, she trails off, shrugging her shoulders slightly as she tries not to think about fate and destiny and all of that other Divination-like nonsense.

"Mmmm. I would say that perhaps both could be true. You three were meant to become friends because you three chose for that to happen. Perhaps it was fate and perhaps it was your own will. Whatever it was, it was meant to be and it has now been fulfilled."

It was less about appealing to her feelings when he said that and more about offering another point of view. To him those same words could hold different meanings depending on how one looked at them. The least that he could do was offer his own insight to her. Besides, she's already shown that she was a young woman very capable of great thought so the least he could do was offer a challenge of sorts. It was his way of honoring her mind for what it was. A genius.

"We could say a similar thing for the two of us as well, I think."

Hermione supposed that 'meant to be' was less of a stomach-churning, wishy-washy phrase when one considered that something was meant in a purposeful way, rather than as a form of divine intervention. She knew that ghosts existed and that there was an afterlife, because she'd experienced concrete proof of that. Anything else? She'd reserved judgment until she saw it, but she was generally firmly rooted in the skeptics' camp.

A little surprised at his conclusion, Hermione glanced up at Iskandar, a quietly amused expression on her face. "Oh? You're not going to tell me that you had a void in your life that could only be fulfilled by a mousy-haired witch with an almost stereotypical soft spot for cats, are you?"

"Well I would say there would be a void in my life were I to never see you again now. You are a friend and I cherish you. You have influenced my life as I have yours."

He wasn't sure if that was what she meant though. Had she meant before she entered his life? He wasn't sure it would have been a void then. There was no way he would have known he would see her. Or that he would have decided to go talk to her in the library that day weeks ago.

Tilting her head a little curiously at the way he always seemed to glom onto the most optimistic turns of phrase, Hermione was silent for a moment before replying, "I suppose you'd feel a void in the most literal sense, if you were to go to, say, the library expecting to see me and not find me there. But if I were to disappear, I'm sure you'd go on with your day-to-day without me. If not, that's a possibility you'll have to get used to here."

Either because people had a nasty tendency of dying during particularly gruesome missions or because rifters have mysteriously disappeared; it may be rumored that they'd found their way home through the rifts, but Hermione isn't so sure that they hadn't just gotten themselves eaten by a bear or fallen prey to any number of other inherent dangers in Thedas.

"Mm. I think you might misunderstand. I go on each day without many in my life now. Without my men, without my people, without Hephaestion, without my wives. Yet my ability to move forward in life does not mean I do not miss them and that there isn't an emptiness in my heart from them not being here. I treasured them in my life just as I treasure them now. Just as I treasure you now. If you were to disappear from my life, I would keep walking forward but that does not mean I would not feel the weight that comes from no longer having you here."

He knew loss, had experienced it often in his life due to how he'd lived. Iskandar knew what it was like to lose someone then still carry them in his heart. There were many names that he kept close that he would never forget so long as it was within his power. "That is the great power of meaning something to a person. It is a beautiful thing."

While Hermione logically knew the importance of being able to move on - she'd lost her own fair share of close friends and comrades too, Heaven knows - she knew that emotionally, things just weren't always that neat. People got messy when it came to feelings, and quite frankly, opening one's heart to as many people as Iskandar had claimed to while still "treasuring" them after they're no longer in one's life sounds exhausting.

"There's little one can do but move on," she acknowledged regardless. "And we certainly don't forget those that are no longer with us, regardless of the reason. But when it comes to so many people, especially when we don't always know just what became of them, doesn't it get harder to reserve that special place in your heart just for them? If I still felt the weight of every person I've lost...."

At that, her voice wavered a bit, because just for a brief moment she allowed herself to remember everyone, from the people she'd watched die to those that she could only assume had been killed during the war. It was a dangerous flow of emotions, and that's why it was important to keep that dam strong even if it may occasionally leak here and there.

Clearing her throat and looking down until she could speak normally once again, she concluded, "... at any rate, it's nice to know you think highly of me. Let's hope neither of us have to worry about any additional losses anytime soon."

"Would you miss me too?"

He wouldn't be offended if she said no but he still had to ask. After all it was the logical follow up after he'd confessed that she was so important to him. Perhaps she felt similarly about him! If nothing else he certainly hoped she wished to keep being in his life like this because it was certainly a pleasure to know her this way. And then some after that really. She was vastly intelligent and it was enjoyable to learn more and more about her as they spoke.

So he sat there with a big stupid grin on his face just waiting for her response.

The question caught her by surprise, leaving Hermione to automatically say, "Of course I would," without even thinking about it. She certainly wouldn't say she wouldn't miss him; even if that were true, it would be patently impolite.

Of course, as she blinked away the initial shock, she realized that it was true, in its own way. It might not be an active sort of longing, but anytime something might remind her of the gentle giant, she'd feel a small pang in her heart. He always seemed so determined to see her smile, after all, that it was hard to imagine how she might get along without him cropping up in the right place at the right time, doing what he can to take her mind off her troubles.

"I would," she repeated, this time without the note of surprise that had compromised its sincerity. "You're very unique, Iskandar. I'll be very sad to have to say goodbye to you."

"I have heard that I am unique before!"

He laughed merrily and then reached out to just rest a hand on top of her head. She was a good person with a true and strong heart. Each time they spoke he felt closer to her and he knew that in some way he'd adopted her like she was some daughter of his that he'd never had.

"Goodbyes always come but that is why we build memories so that way those are what we remember the most."

"Pity; I thought it would have been a one-of-a-kind compliment."

It was a weak joke, but as with Harry, it didn't matter if she made weak jokes around Iskandar. He seemed like he'd appreciate them and her just the same, and that was something she valued. It made her feel less self-conscious, which was something she needed after first arriving in Thedas and finding that she had to start relearning magic and history from scratch.

Bringing a hand up to playfully swat away the hand he'd rested on her head, Hermione chuckled softly and remarked, "We couldn't very well remember things we hadn't at least unconsciously memorized. That goes again common logic."

"Does it?"

He thought about that for a second or so before realizing how correct she was. Blinking a few times at the simple logic of it. It really made so much sense! Laughing, he planted his hands on his hips.

"I have never thought of it this way! That is amazing! It is simply brilliant! That we should remember things because we have unconsciously memorized it!"

Hermione blinked, looking up at Iskandar as she wondered over whether he was pulling her leg with his reaction. She didn't know how to respond, given that she had no idea how serious he was being. But then, he was so seldom serious, wasn't he?

"I can't tell if you're having me on or not," she replied, a polite - if confused - smile playing on her face. "But yes, wanting to remember something is part of our nature as sentient beings, so it makes sense that we'd instinctively go around committing things to memory. That's why things like amnesia and Alzheimer's disease are so terrifying." At least, they were for her, and she assumed the same could be said for everyone else.

"Mm. I have no idea what this disease is but if it is associated with amnesia in such a way then it would be frightening. After all not only do we want to remember but we wish to be remembered as well. It is why so many strive to leave a mark on the world."

Still, he was rather thrilled with the power of the mind. It could truly be a wondrous thing couldn't it. "I do not tease you though, I promise. I love how clever you are and when you speak your thoughts to me I find myself excited by what I might learn from you."

"Alzheimer's is a degenerative brain disease that causes memory loss and a decrease in specific cognitive functions," Hermione explained, frowning a little bit. "It usually afflicts those of advanced age, though I've only seen it primarily in humans, and even then, not humans of the wizarding community. Or, at least, wizards and witches tend to have a much longer life span, so I haven't met any of a comparable age where such a thing would be a concern." It left her wondering over whether or not wizards and Muggles were privy to the same sorts of illnesses, and she puzzled over how one might approach something like Alzheimer's from a magical perspective.

She could get lost in her own thoughts if he were to let her, but Iskandar's presence keeps her from brooding too much. It would, after all, be impolite. Especially when he was complimenting her intellect, which was always something that could make Hermione beam despite herself.

"You could learn just as much from a book," she told him, giving the small kitten in his hands one last scratch behind the ears. "I would only warn against taking anything you might read or hear at face value. Asking questions is really the only way for anyone to learn much of anything."

"You can learn much from a book. Yet there is so much value you in speaking to others as you have pointed out. For example you could read my entire history in a book but here I am before you to tell you of all that I have experienced."

The boy had done that once. Gone out of his way to go to a book store in order to read a book all about him. Yet he'd been right there before him to answer all of his questions, much like he would answer any that she ever presented to him should she have any.

"This is why I love to speak with you. The thoughts in a book are those of another. So to hear the way your heart speaks as you describe things to me is what I love."

While a part of Hermione still regarded him skeptically whenever he referred to himself being Alexander the Great, she now found herself wondering over whether she or Harry or Ron would ever have a similar experience when it came to who they were as people versus how they were portrayed in history books. "I'll be in history books," she realized dimly, more to herself. "I wonder how much they might get wrong."

It wouldn't matter, ultimately. So long as they got the basic facts regarding the war right, she couldn't ask for anything else.

She could argue that she didn't let her heart speak so much as her logical, unbiased brain, but she knew that wasn't true. Hermione had her biases just as the next person had his, and denying it would be foolish. "So I take it if I were struck with laryngitis and unable to speak, you'd love me less?" It was meant as a joke, given the way she smiled at him, especially since it would likely take nothing short of unconsciousness or the presence of an extremely engrossing book to keep her from talking to Iskandar.

"What? I would never love you le..." It took a second. Then he understood the joke and was laughing, thoroughly pleased that she'd made the attempt at all. There were times when she was quite serious and to see this side of her pleased him to no end! "You are very funny! I am only sad that it took me too long to understand the joke!"

Then he took a moment to look at her. Just to look. "You are such a beautiful young woman but when you smile you obtain a glow I cannot describe. My heart warms each time I can behold the vision of you smiling at me."

And just like that, Iskandar gave her a smile of his own.

Hermione had made her fair share of dry comments, and she was sure she'd done as much around Iskandar at least a few times, so his reaction surprised her. She didn't know how to take it, though, leaving her to chuckle a bit awkwardly as he let out his own laughter.

That chuckle died away, though, when he was suddenly looking at her a bit oddly. Before she could ask after it, he was complimenting her, and Hermione couldn't recall anyone ever saying anything like that to her before. People often commented on her cleverness or magical skills or quick learning, but beauty? It made her sure that he was pulling her leg.

"You're very kind," she said at last, not knowing how else to reply to that. Though her thanks were genuine, there was still a fair bit of skepticism in the way she replied, since she was half-waiting for the punchline to be delivered. "I doubt very much that most people look at me that way, or look at anything the way that you do."

"I would hope I am unique in how I look upon you. Just as I would hope others are unique in how they look upon you. We are all different people in this world. Still, what I say stands. You are beautiful in body, heart, and mind. Yet I rarely see your smile come out so it is a gift to me when I can behold it."

He reached over to rest a large hand on her shoulder. She might not believe him but that didn't mean he was going to stop telling her how he saw things or felt. In complete honesty.

"You will find others see your beauty as well. The full extent of it. They are the ones to be treasured for they see all of you or at least wish to."

Hermione didn't respond right away. It was puzzling, how often Iskandar said such simple things that meant so much. If he were anyone else, she would think that he had an ulterior motive or was purposely trying to charm her, but he was so frank that she was sure that any motives he might have besides pure honesty wouldn't be hidden for overly long.

"I-... thank you, Iskandar," she finally replied, her smile still a touch awkward but no less genuine. "I can't speak for anything else you said, but if nothing else, you certainly are unique. I appreciate that. I'm sure the people at Skyhold and beyond would agree."

She hesitated for a moment, wondering if it would be too forward, but she was fairly certain he wouldn't consider anything she'd do to be too forward. So she reached over and gingerly hugged him about his broad shoulders, quietly adding, "I'll never be necessarily glad that anyone's fallen through a rift, but all the same, I'm grateful that you're here."

[Closed] Did you see the flares fill with hope?

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