Something awful tightens in Araceli's throat, catches and pulls when she sees Korrin's smile, something that has her looking at Sina again, biting down on the inside of her lip until it stings.
"It gets better." How many people have said that to her? Too many no doubt, and isn't that what they're saying to her just now? And she...she can't quite meet Korrin's eyes when she takes an unsteady breath to say the next part, instead keeping herself close to Sina as if it's just them, the way it was in the tent when she was unwilling to share. "I still-- Some things scare me now Sina that didn't before? I didn't want to hurt you then by telling you but...no one had hurt me like that, the same way I don't think anyone has ever hurt you like this. What happened to me and to everyone else was awful but the worst part when it was over wasn't the thing that the physically did, it was the-- it was the knowing. Knowing they made that choice. Knowing that they wanted to do that. The only way I moved forward was because when I could think, and that took a long time, longer than I wanted to admit, was because I didn't want them to have power over me. I didn't want them to win. I didn't want them to take me away from the people I love and that love me, or the things that I love.
"And I know, querida, I know it is so hard to remember that right now when you could just lie down and let the world wash over you until the world ends but your heart is still beating. And there are so many people here that love you, and will fight for you, and will fight with you. None of them are going anywhere. When you are ready...that's still there." And if there's more Araceli wants to say then she can't, not right now because her voice is a raw whisper at the end as she has to fight not to squeeze Sina's hand too tight, able to taste the salt in the back of her throat though the tears she manages to hold in check for the moment.
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"It gets better." How many people have said that to her? Too many no doubt, and isn't that what they're saying to her just now? And she...she can't quite meet Korrin's eyes when she takes an unsteady breath to say the next part, instead keeping herself close to Sina as if it's just them, the way it was in the tent when she was unwilling to share. "I still-- Some things scare me now Sina that didn't before? I didn't want to hurt you then by telling you but...no one had hurt me like that, the same way I don't think anyone has ever hurt you like this. What happened to me and to everyone else was awful but the worst part when it was over wasn't the thing that the physically did, it was the-- it was the knowing. Knowing they made that choice. Knowing that they wanted to do that. The only way I moved forward was because when I could think, and that took a long time, longer than I wanted to admit, was because I didn't want them to have power over me. I didn't want them to win. I didn't want them to take me away from the people I love and that love me, or the things that I love.
"And I know, querida, I know it is so hard to remember that right now when you could just lie down and let the world wash over you until the world ends but your heart is still beating. And there are so many people here that love you, and will fight for you, and will fight with you. None of them are going anywhere. When you are ready...that's still there." And if there's more Araceli wants to say then she can't, not right now because her voice is a raw whisper at the end as she has to fight not to squeeze Sina's hand too tight, able to taste the salt in the back of her throat though the tears she manages to hold in check for the moment.