Sataari

[quietblade]

WHO: Taashath + OPEN
WHAT: Catch-all for Wintermarch
WHEN: All through the month
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Come get giant qunari CR!

I. SKYHOLD

Most days were good days for the warrior. He laughed, he smiled and he spent his time among friends and peers. Training, teaching, working for something.

Other days were not as good, when memories came to him and he swore he could almost hear again; the low thunder of the aftermath of an explosion. Those days Taas withdrew from the rest of the soldiers and spent his time on the battlements, looking at the mountains. It reminded him of freedom, to see the high rise of the snowy peaks - yet there was the the drop from the wall and deep into the chasm that settled his stomach even more.

Nothing came without danger, did it?

"Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun," he says softly. There was nothing to struggle against, even when all he could see were the faces of his antaam.

Taas keeps his back free, his weapon in the barracks and his thoughts stubbornly on the future, but he could probably use a distraction.

II. TAVERN

Some nights Taashath spent in the tavern, having a few drinks and talking to people. He does his best to not get too drunk, but sometimes it was nice to let go and be the guy who had to sleep it off on the floor.

...few people could move him once he was down, after all.

Other nights he enjoys less alcohol and more games, and he's still trying to master Wicked Grace. Diamondback is more his thing, as well as Dead Man's Tricks. It would be nice to get some Qunari games in the tavern, but he doubted any of them were easily found in the south.

Join him for drinking or games?

III. TRAINING RING

The swing of his dragon-tooth mace crushed the target dummy under him, and he makes sure to follow up the weight of the weapon by bracing himself with his legs. Swinging the thing was different from his usual axe, but the destruction was obvious. Standing back, he looks at the broken piece of straw and wood, rolling his shoulders a bit.

He still preferred the axe, but Korrin's present was damn amazing.

"So who wants to spar? I need to work on my speed, and I'm sure I'll be decent training for facing any Red Templar behemoths." Taas grins, leaning a bit on the mace and looking at the people gathered.

IV. SIGN LANGUAGE CLASS

Taashath's sign language class was still going, although it was mostly teaching non-verbal commands to the scouts. The people who came back for more were always welcome, and it was really a blessing for the deaf warrior to have more people around that were able to sign. It meant he didn't always have to guess half the words people said to him, and the most important conversations couldn't be misunderstood.

(...silent ways of flirting was another thing that he was asked a lot, so Taas has to try not to laugh any time he sees it used outside his 'classroom'.)

The door to the semi-broken tower that the soldiers used as a place to nap between shifts during the night was always open when Taas was teaching, and by now he had dragged some old benches and blankets there to make it a little more comfortable.

Comments

[quietblade]

Taas slowly looks down at the elf, still lost in thought. The small, lithe paleness even takes a moment to actually sink in as familiar. Not qunari, not Ashaad.

Kadan.

The warrior sighs, trying to shake the memories away and focus on Cyril instead. "Hello. I'm sorry, I'm not up to any fun right now."

[samahl]

Cyril can see that in Taas's face and the way he's carrying himself and instead of being discouraged he shrugged. He had admitted his feelings, and part of loving someone meant being there even when things weren't fun. That had been something he had learned with Merrick a long time ago.

"I don't mind, Taashath," he said. "We don't have to have fun to spend time together. I am here for you. If you need to talk or need company, I'm here. I'm also willing to leave if you need space."

[quietblade]

It was still new to him, sharing himself like this with the elf - trying to remember that it wasn't all about the sex any more between them. Taas would happily listen to Cyril talk about all his problems and always did his best to help, but the opposite was... strange.

New.

"No. You can... stay." He gives the elf a small smile, even if it doesn't fully reach his eyes. "I'm just remembering shit."

[samahl]

Cyril came closer and then leaned against the wall a bit so he could look up at Taas without feeling like he was being too overbearing.

"The way I see it, there are several ways to deal with unwanted memories. You could talk about it, or we could come up with some kind of distraction. And anything could be a distraction from playing a game to volunteering to clean out the stables." He clarifies only to reassure Taas he didn't mean sensual distraction. "Whatever you want, I'm here to help." Even if it meant spending the rest of the day around horse mess.

[quietblade]

The thought of shoveling dirt the rest of the day does actually make the warrior slightly hum with amusement. Not because he was in a particular mood to do such a thing, but because Cyril suggested it. The elf was too sweet sometimes.

"That's fine, kadan. I think... I think I prefer just staying here for a while." He reaches a hand down to lean it gently on Cyril's shoulder. The warmth of the elf's skin is more comforting than he had imagined, so he leaves it there.

"You see a lot of bad shit on Seheron. People dying, Shit burning down. Innocents being caught in the crossfire. All that stuff. Sometimes it just... sneaks back on me again."

[samahl]

Cyril shifts just enough to make the touch firm without suggesting anything more than comfort. He watches Taas speak and frowns a bit at the thought of him being haunted by memories of the dead he couldn't help or save.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

[quietblade]

Taas is quiet again, still thoughtful as Cyril speaks. It's sweet, really, that the elf wanted to help. It had been a long, long time since anyone did, but here he had both friends and lovers who were concerned.

Who didn't judge.

Silently, he lowers his hand from Cyrils shoulder to grab one of the elf's own. It disappears in his, pale, lithe fingers drowning in bronze. It's a little gesture, but it helps immensely.

It should be wrong, using someone else for his own needs. Yet here he is, holding hands with an elf who wanted nothing other than to support him.

"Thank you, kadan."

[samahl]

Cyril loves the way that Taas's hand was so much bigger than his. Even thought this moment was about Taas and his needs, it still made Cyril feel safe and protected.

"Of course," he says. After a moment, he comes a little closer and leans a bit against Taas, cuddling up to him. Taas can't see his lips from this angle, but if they need to talk more he can always move.

[quietblade]

When Cyril leans closer, Taas moves his hand to embrace his shoulder slightly instead, leaning the elf gently to his body. Close and warm and grounding for a bad day with bad memories.

"I can still see our Ashaad's face after the explosion," he says softly, jaw tightening a bit in remembered pain. "He's so desperate, calling out to me, but I can't hear him. I can't hear anything. I can't help him, he's torn in two and the light is already going out in his eyes."

He shivers slightly, tightening his grip a bit around Cyril. Not painfully so, but noticeable. "They drag me out of there and I know I'm screaming, but everything is silent. My purpose is gone just like my kith. I'm nothing."

[samahl]

Cyril moves his own hand so that he can trail his fingers lightly over Taas's arm. The movement is meant to be comforting and let Taas know that he's listening and still there. He can't speak in response so he just listens.

When Taas says that he's nothing, though, Cyril pauses and then moves his hand to more firmly touch Taas. It's obvious he disagrees.

[quietblade]

Cyril's silent protest is noticed, and the warrior feels that flutterly fondness in his chest again. Staying quiet for a moment to watch the flight of a bird over the mountainpeaks, he then turns and slowly sinks down on the stone, leaning his back against the rampart. Taas sighs, gently coaxing Cyril to come sit with him.

"Sometimes I miss it. The Qun. Always knowing where I belong. What is expected of me. How things work." He carefully runs a big hand over Cyril's back. "I never would have left if they didn't decide to retire me. I didn't feel the need to; I agreed with everything. I was a dedicated cog in the machinery."

He would have never learned everything he had. Never met so many friends and changed his opinion on so many things.

Never met Cyril or Zevran.

Never learned about love.

[samahl]

Cyril pulls back just enough to make sure that Taas can see his face. He doesn't dislodge the hand on his back.

"Do you feel that way right now?" he asks. He doesn't seem insulted about the idea. He wants to understand more than anything. His life has been flinging him towards abandoning what was expected of him, but that didn't mean he could fully relate to what life was like in the Qun.

[quietblade]

Taas quickly shakes his head at that. "No. I'm happy here. I've come to learn so much more since I left, and while I still agree with several principles, the last of my prejudice from the Qun died once I met Korrin." Mages had still bothered him quite a bit, but the more he saw from Korrin and the more he learned about the way mages trained and learned to control their magic here, it made him change his mind about it.

Fade shit was still weird, though.

"...besides, I would never be the person I am today or met the people I have if I didn't leave. I'm more than a warrior, now. Someone who gets to experience things like love."

[samahl]

That last part does put a gentle smile on Cyril's lips. "Experiencing love is... really weird isn't it?" he asks. "Good, but weird."

There's a bit of a teasing expression on his face. He's still worried about making Taas feel better but he has to pause and admit that both of them had issues opening themselves to the idea of emotional connection of that type.

[quietblade]

"Good, but weird." Taas repeats, smiling again. Yeah, that was a good way to look at it, really. So new and unknown, but they were exploring it together. No pressure or 'musts'.

The warrior leans down to kiss Cyril, and it's fairly chaste; more emotion than desire.

"As long as I can make someone like you happy, I feel like I'm still part of a whole."

[samahl]

Cyril lets himself enjoy the kiss. There's something so comforting about having a kiss that doesn't need to have the heat of sexual desire.

"You do," he reassures. "You make me happy. I hope I can do the same to you." He knows Taas might not be able to manage 'happy' on bad days, but if they can get close to that it's a victory.