Sataari

[quietblade]

WHO: Taashath + OPEN
WHAT: Catch-all for Wintermarch
WHEN: All through the month
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Come get giant qunari CR!

I. SKYHOLD

Most days were good days for the warrior. He laughed, he smiled and he spent his time among friends and peers. Training, teaching, working for something.

Other days were not as good, when memories came to him and he swore he could almost hear again; the low thunder of the aftermath of an explosion. Those days Taas withdrew from the rest of the soldiers and spent his time on the battlements, looking at the mountains. It reminded him of freedom, to see the high rise of the snowy peaks - yet there was the the drop from the wall and deep into the chasm that settled his stomach even more.

Nothing came without danger, did it?

"Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun," he says softly. There was nothing to struggle against, even when all he could see were the faces of his antaam.

Taas keeps his back free, his weapon in the barracks and his thoughts stubbornly on the future, but he could probably use a distraction.

II. TAVERN

Some nights Taashath spent in the tavern, having a few drinks and talking to people. He does his best to not get too drunk, but sometimes it was nice to let go and be the guy who had to sleep it off on the floor.

...few people could move him once he was down, after all.

Other nights he enjoys less alcohol and more games, and he's still trying to master Wicked Grace. Diamondback is more his thing, as well as Dead Man's Tricks. It would be nice to get some Qunari games in the tavern, but he doubted any of them were easily found in the south.

Join him for drinking or games?

III. TRAINING RING

The swing of his dragon-tooth mace crushed the target dummy under him, and he makes sure to follow up the weight of the weapon by bracing himself with his legs. Swinging the thing was different from his usual axe, but the destruction was obvious. Standing back, he looks at the broken piece of straw and wood, rolling his shoulders a bit.

He still preferred the axe, but Korrin's present was damn amazing.

"So who wants to spar? I need to work on my speed, and I'm sure I'll be decent training for facing any Red Templar behemoths." Taas grins, leaning a bit on the mace and looking at the people gathered.

IV. SIGN LANGUAGE CLASS

Taashath's sign language class was still going, although it was mostly teaching non-verbal commands to the scouts. The people who came back for more were always welcome, and it was really a blessing for the deaf warrior to have more people around that were able to sign. It meant he didn't always have to guess half the words people said to him, and the most important conversations couldn't be misunderstood.

(...silent ways of flirting was another thing that he was asked a lot, so Taas has to try not to laugh any time he sees it used outside his 'classroom'.)

The door to the semi-broken tower that the soldiers used as a place to nap between shifts during the night was always open when Taas was teaching, and by now he had dragged some old benches and blankets there to make it a little more comfortable.

Comments

[quietblade]

Taas brushes his hair back between his horns and shakes his head a little. Of all the people here in Skyhold, Korrin was probably the best person to have around if things got dark.

(...and maybe he didn't really want to be alone.)

He briefly glances over at the mountaintops again, and sighs. "Have any of the Tal-Vashoth you've been around seemed... off? Unhinged, perhaps, as if they are making up for time when things were decided for them?"

[gatheringstorm]

Korrin's brow furrows as she stares off, thinking back to her past. However, she glances back, reminding herself that it's harder for Taas to read lips if he can't see them. "...Tama said that my parents were like that at first, pretty manic and running around trying to do everything that the Qun didn't allow before. They settled down after a while, though. You know, they had to get it out of their system. It's a good thing they were relatively young, too, I think that helped them adjust.

There were some like that in the Valo-Kas, too. Shokrakar didn't allow anyone in who would endanger the group, but she did take on some people that other companies would pass up because they were slower to adjust. She said everyone deserved a fair shot, so she'd give them one. And for the most part, when she did they made a genuine effort not to let her down. Sure, it took them a while to gain some balance, but they eventually found it, one way or another.

I remember this one guy who I swear had a kid in every Tal-Vashoth or Vashoth settlement was passed through. He sure as hell made up for the Qun's restrictions on sex as though his life depended on it. We honestly lost track of how many there were, but if you see any in Rivain with gold eyes and long noses, it's a fair chance they're his."

[quietblade]

He reads her lips in silence, for a brief moment slightly amused at the mention of the guy that spread kids all over the place. It might have been a preferable way to deal with it all. Creating life rather than taking it.

It's both expected and a little bit of a relief to hear that many Tal-Vashoth ended up feeling too free and lost, needing time to find balance. He sure as hell did. It just took him too long to stop him from doing damage.

"I was a mess when I left. I killed my superior. I slaughtered my way through most of our encampment like a madman, and then just left in one direction without a plan. I would probably have been caught and brought back for re-education or killed outright if it wasn't for the band of Tal-Vashoth I found." Taas rubs the back of his head, pushing thick fingers between the braids.

"They were the bad kind, The unhinged kind that fought and raged all over the countryside. I did, too. I was so angry, Korrin. Angry that I lost my way of life, angry that lost my hearing, full of agony to have seen my people, my team die and leaving me with all the guilt of surviving." He sighs again, and he can't quite meet her eyes.

"We fought a lot. Soldiers, highwaymen, Ben-Hassrath. Then we started to just... fight. For no reason. Attacking innocent people."

[gatheringstorm]

Her expression grows pensive upon hearing that, neither condoning nor entirely unsympathetic. How could she be, when some of her company started out that way? She's seen enough from Tal-Vashoth to realize how much they struggle at first, much as she'll fight such actions if they happen right in front of her.

"When fighting has been your purpose for so long, it's hard to stop, isn't it? Especially with all that anger in the way. Shokrakar knew about that, but it didn't stop her from leading us against them when we were paid or when they would have made life a lot more difficult for the rest of us. Very occasionally, they could be made to stand down. One time we even got a member that way. But most of them, they were too far gone. I'm glad I didn't run into you like that."

Sighing, she stares out at the mountains. "Maybe there's the rare Tal-Vashoth who can snap out of it on their own, but not the ones I met. They all had help of some kind, from people who knew how to reach them. I'm not going to say it was a hug-fest, because a lot of it was 'tough love'. But I think the ones that made it did because they had that support system. Even if a new purpose took a while to form, at least they had people to hold them up until then."

[quietblade]

He reads her lips as she speaks and nods slightly. 'When fighting has been your purpose for so long, it's hard to stop.' Nothing could be more true than that.

"My superior trained me, encouraged me to lose my head and to be a monster in battle. It wasn't really a good idea in the first place. These days, I'm fairly sure he would have been re-educated if I hadn't torn his head off." He sighs again. "I kept on being that monster for a long time, Korrin. I didn't snap out of it until I killed this woman..."

He rubs his face, closing his eyes for a moment. Guilt tore at him, reaching up its hands and grasping his chest with rigid claws.

"She died from my hands and she had never done anything wrong. She hadn't been a threat. She just... existed, and I cut her down." Her eyes. He would never forget her eyes.

...and he didn't want to. It was a warning for what he was, what he could be if he lost control.

[gatheringstorm]

Wincing for a moment, Korrin rests a hand on his arm, giving a light squeeze to let him know he's not alone. "You'll never forget that...and you shouldn't, but that's what you were, not what you are. You're better than that now, even during the harder days. You're Taashath...calm. It's a good name and a good cause."

Her tone is quiet but firm, believing that he has it in himself to keep going. The ones who never snapped out of it at all, they were a lost cause. But Taas isn't like that. Even if it took him a long time, he still managed to get there and that counts for something. It has to.

[quietblade]

The touch to his arm is soothing and he glances down at her fingers with a sigh. "It took me some time to be taashath. I wish it had not been because of innocent blood." She had been someone's daughter, maybe someone's wife, sister. Mother.

He knew nothing about her, but he would never forget her face.

"I left, joined a mercenary gang as the only qunari because I wanted to get as far away from that as possible. An elven woman there taught me sign language... and she taught me how to be taashath." The warrior shakes his head a bit.

"I've done a lot of bad things, Korrin. I might be different now, but I cannot... will not forget the cost of that. Even if it means I'm up here brooding."

[gatheringstorm]

"No, I know...and you're right. Don't forget. You owe them that. But you also don't have to be up here alone, either. I'm not going to let you think you have to go through this by yourself."

Korrin's just going to be stubborn about that as she is about anything she cares about, so Taas will just have to deal. "I wish I could have met that elven lady, she sounds pretty awesome. And she deserves thanks for helping you dig your way out of that hole."

[quietblade]

Taas takes a deep breath and nods. While he still wasn't keen on bothering other people with his issues, he didn't have to be alone with his thoughts any more.

"Thank you, kadan," he says softly, and while it is a word he uses for two different things now, the affection is just as true.

"I think you would like her. Her name's Yshae," Taas says, and his pronunciation is not terrible. "...she might have retired by now. She spoke about becoming a farmer and have a dozen kids."

[gatheringstorm]

Though Korrin tends to use the term different, it still makes her smile to hear it from Taas. She gives his arm a soft squeeze, listening to him describe this remarkable woman. "I hope that came true, it sounds like she well-deserves it. May she be somewhere far away from all this crap, somewhere peaceful."

Thedas overall may not accurately claim that descriptor, but it doesn't stop her from hoping that pockets of it exist.

[quietblade]

"I'm sure she is. She was good at avoiding trouble." Mercenary or not, Yshae always came out unscathed from their fights. She could be unseen and forgotten quickly.

That would work in her favor these days.

"I always heard that Tal-Vashoth went mad without the Qun, but since they had trained me to be mad before that, I'm not sure what made me snap for so long. All I know is that I am Taashath, and that is what I want to stay."