[open] we sit and grow our roots into the floor

[onlyhymns]

WHO: Cade and his many friends and admirers
WHAT: a dumb sulky baby got hurt at the Winter Palace because he was dumb and now he is sulking about it
WHEN: post-Halamshiral, simultaneous with red lyrium plot hell
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Injury stuff, nothing ridiculous



The Healing Tents

For the umpteenth time in the span of two years, Cade is under supervision. But this time it's not because he was violent-- well... it was, but indirectly-- it's because he got a couple spikes of red lyrium through the thigh after flipping out and battling Red Templars completely unarmored in the Winter Palace.
He ingested red lyrium once before, and from what anyone can tell it caused him to smack an elf. This is a lot more of the stuff, and Cade is notoriously unstable, so he's being watched to make sure it doesn't alter his personality.

He's the first to reassure the healers that lyrium doesn't work like that, you have to take it daily and it slowly builds up in you and so forth, but, you know, caution is caution. He respects it. But he hates being fussed over, so periodically he'll sneak off a small ways just to have a bit of solitude.


Near the Healing Tents, Being a Renegade

Usually this means sitting up on the ramparts and watching people, reading, anything that gets him a little peace and quiet. For someone who seems to thrive on being told what to do, no one can tell Cade what to do and he will be stubborn for as long as it takes for him to be deemed Safe again.

This is pointless.


Choose Your Own Adventure

Whatever else! Hit me up if you want a specific scene, or just start one here and I will accede to your whims.

Comments

[samahl]

Cyril is careful to keep his hands in view and his distance. "You were in the fight at the Winter's Palace, right? Did you happen to see a qunari named Metaari there?" He thinks getting to the point is the best for Cade.

[onlyhymns]

This isn't what he thought it would be. Cade stares at him a moment, then furrows his brow, thinking.

"...I don't know," he admits, after a moment. He doesn't remember most of the battle, and, somewhat predictably, most Qunari look the same to him. He certainly doesn't know any of their names, except for Korrin and the Iron Bull.

[samahl]

Cyril nods a bit and looks a little disappointed. "My brother is looking for him. If you hear anything about him, will you let me know?" he considers Cade carefully thing, expression friendly but careful.

[onlyhymns]

Cade isn't sure he knows who Cyril's brother is-- probably an elf?-- but he just nods instead of saying so, since Cyril himself is easy enough to find. He's very pale.

Cade looks at the ground after he's nodded, made characteristically uncomfortable by Cyril's presence.

[samahl]

Cyril is quiet for a moment before finally he tilts his head a bit. "You don't like me very much do you?" He wonders if it's because Merrick is his brother. He doesn't know that Cade has no idea of their relationship. He doesn't want to jump to conclusions though, and instead lets Cade speak for himself.

[onlyhymns]

Oh no.
"What? No--" Cade starts, and immediately realizes he has no way to back that up. He doesn't dislike Cyril, he's just... you know..! "No, I... um." He quits while he's ahead and shuts up, shaking his head.

[samahl]

"You?" Cyril prompts after it becomes clear that Cade isn't going to complete this thought. "It's all right. I promise I can take whatever you're going to say."

[onlyhymns]

"It's not like that," Cade persists, but is still visibly flustered, to the point where he's even less articulate than usual. He looks down, hands clenching and unclenching for several moments, then he shakes his head, squaring his shoulders. "I should go," he says hurriedly, and then turns a bit too quickly, such that his injured leg complains with a jolt of pain. He steadies himself against a post, berating himself for his own idiocy.

[samahl]

Despite trying to give Cade space, when he hurts himself Cyril jerks forward. He doesn't touch Cade, but he does reach out in case Cade needs a hand to steady himself. "Careful," he says, with real concern. "You don't have to run, I'll leave if I make you that uncomfortable."

[onlyhymns]

Cade doesn't take his hand, but at least has the decency to look guilty at his own aversion.
"It's just...!" he stammers, beginning to blush and clearly unhappy about it, "you're... you're like... that." There's nothing overtly frightening about Cyril, but there is one trait that, by itself, is enough to make Cade want to avoid him. And it's not being Dalish, though that doesn't help.

[samahl]

"Like... an elf?" He frowned a bit, jumping to the wrong conclusion right away. "Is that why you attacked Beleth? I thought it had been an emotional response, not because you hated us for being what we are." His eyes narrow, his voice is a bit harsher, and he steps back. "That makes me wonder why she tried to defend you after."

[onlyhymns]

"No," Cade says, but isn't... super intense about it, which is to say, he's definitely not going to lie and tell Cyril he's comfortable around most elves. He looks incredulous-- and vaguely panicked-- when Beleth is invoked, but he just rapidly shakes his head. "No, no, I don't-- I don't care," he says, then sighs. Talking is hard. "I mean I... used to. But it's."
Biting his lip, he looks furtively back up at Cyril, and gestures vaguely to him. "..you're..." he mumbles.

Pretty!!

[samahl]

He seems mollified a bit, but not entirely. He knows a lot of people here were against elves until they started to interact with them and it's impossible to respond to that for everyone.

"I'm... Merrick's brother?" he offered, because he honestly can't think of what else would cause such a response. "I can understand why that would make you uncomfortable. I... I've been wanting to do what I can to make up for what happened." Though Merrick's response had been because of his protectiveness of Beleth. That whole situation was terribly complicated.

[onlyhymns]

Well that's news. Cade blinks at him, surprised. "You are?" He's momentarily forgotten the actual issue at hand, but he quickly shakes his head when he remembers again. Come on, dude!

"You..." he says, almost in a whine, "...you like other men." That's harmless enough. Ish.

[samahl]

Cyril was about to confirm his relationship with Merrick but the next thing takes him by surprise. He blinks a bit. Usually, the only people who care that he likes other men are elves because it means he's not running towards making other little elves. Otherwise, people don't seem to really care who you sleep with.

"I..." he starts, and it's his turn to be at a loss for words. "I do, but I'm not certain what that has to do with you? I've never... I've never hit on you, have I?" Honestly, Cade was one of the first men he's met who just screamed being 'off limits.'

[onlyhymns]

The look Cade gives Cyril is slightly surprised, contemplative, like he's trying to do complicated math in his head. He stares at him for several long, awkward seconds, looks up for a little bit, then looks back at Cyril, who, using the same analogy, has just walked up and told him the answer with zero effort on the elf's part.

"...I don't think so," Cade says lamely. He is blushing so hard his ears are red.

[samahl]

Cyril presses his lips together and then looks away from Cade for a moment. "I know I might not have the most spotless reputation, but if someone is uncomfortable with me suggesting anything with them, I'll back down." He says it carefully, trying not to feel offended by Cade. "Flirting isn't fun if both parties aren't into it."

[onlyhymns]

Damn it, this is awkward. Cade puts a hand over his face, frowning behind it and hiding his eyes, as if that'll help. "I know," he mumbles. It's not like he actually knows Cyril that well, but the man has never struck him as someone overly aggressive or pushy.

"Sorry." He twists his mouth to one side, aggravated, mostly with himself.

[samahl]

Cyril shrugs and then settles a bit. He gives Cade a bit more space. "So, what is it about me being homosexual that bothers you?" he asks. "You don't strike me as the type who is torn up about the dwindling numbers of elves in the world."

[onlyhymns]

This is an awkward question, and Cade knows his answer will be stupid, but he also feels beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is right. It's the same way he knows that he likes sweets and that the Maker is real: it's just a fundamental truth.
Because if it weren't, why would it be so shameful?

"It's... no, it's just..." He fidgets. "...wrong."

If it were right, he wouldn't have been begged to keep it a secret. It wouldn't have felt so threatening.

[samahl]

Cyril had been expecting a few different things but that is so unexpected that for a moment he just seems a little flabbergasted. "I'm sorry? It's... wrong? For me to love men?" he repeats them as if he wasn't sure he was hearing correctly. "I've never heard that before. I've heard that it's wrong for me to choose my desires over continuing my race, but the idea that my desires are just plain wrong is new to me."

He pauses a bit, considers Cade a little more intensely. "Do you care to share how it's wrong?" his voice is extremely sweet. The kind of sweetness that those who knew him better would be able to tell was hiding something angry and dark.

[onlyhymns]

Cade doesn't know him, but being a sensitive sort who generally assumes people are angry with him, he's beginning to pick up on the shift in Cyril's mood.
He doesn't want to talk about this. There's no evidence or real reason he can give, and Cade's fear shows as he glances to and fro, avoiding the elf's eyes. The back of his throat feels raw.

Rather than engage the question, he just shakes his head, though it looks less like a 'no' and more like an 'I have no idea what to do right now'.

[samahl]

"It just seems like such a strange thing to consider 'wrong,'" Cyril continues, still using the same tone of voice. "Actions are wrong. For example, attacking an innocent woman would be considered wrong. But this is something that is innate to me. Calling that wrong is the same as saying that having blonde hair or a stupid expression is wrong."

[onlyhymns]

As Cyril persists, so sweetly and dangerously, Cade takes a nervous step back, still gripping the post but about to let it go with his next step. He's starting to hear that roaring in his ears, the drowning out of all rational thought and present sensation, which tends to precede an episode.

Taking the jab about attacking innocent women exactly as it was intended, he says 'I know' so quietly that he seems to mouth it, his gaze still fixed downward. Merrick is Cyril's brother, he can't stop remembering, and his stomach turns.

He's barely listening to what Cyril says as he continues backing up, carefully so he doesn't hurt his leg, toward the safety of the healing tents.

[samahl]

Cyril actually makes a bit of a disgusted noise once Cade starts to retreat. He usually has better control of his emotions but this subject is so raw to him. He just accepted the fact that he won't be married to a good elven woman and now someone is acting like there's something inherently wrong with his preference - not just the choice to not marry but that there was something actually wrong with him. It brings back emotions he had thought he was over.

He just shakes his head and lets Cade go. If he just wants to imply that Cyril is wired wrong and retreat he can. The two of them don't have to talk or interact. It wasn't as if extending a hand of friendship would even really work with someone who considered him wrong.