Open | If you forget, is it like it never happened?

[killedwithlove]

WHO: Cole and anyone who needs or wants him
WHAT: Cole's back. If he ever left. Who really knows?
WHEN: Now until end of February.
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: If you want a personal starter, drop me a PM or find me at jemisard

Those sensitive to such things might notice that Cole is back. He's hard to remember at the best of times, and after such a long period, Cole himself expects virtually no one to remember who he is or that he's allowed to be here.

But it doesn't stop him doing what he does. Moving about, helping those he can.

Comments

[killedwithlove]

"He was a boy. He had magic. They hurt him and locked him in a cell and he died slowly, alone. I came through to help him. Be with him. And I became him. Him without magic, like he wanted."

[not_the_question]

The Doctor frowns. "'They?' Who are they?"

Because the Doctor has a mind to find this 'they' and question them as well. Maybe even provide some... guidance on the treatment of children.

cw: sexual assault implications

[killedwithlove]

Cole shrugs. "I don't know their names. I know they were Templars." He rocks on his feet. "He was just a hedge mage. Who'll care if he's been roughed up a bit, he was a handful, Tranquil don't say no."

The last two sentences were said with different inflection, copying someone's voice.

[not_the_question]

The Doctor is taking mental notes. He didn't like how that sounded. Not at all. But rather than focusing on the bad memory. He focuses on the part he didn't understand.

"What's a hedge mage?"

[killedwithlove]

"I don't know. Rhys thought I was a hedge mage. Maybe... a mage who isn't in the Circle. An apostate."

But he's not sure.

[not_the_question]

Rhys. Templars. And something clearly bad and without permission had happened. Something the person was told to not say no to... The Doctor nodded quietly.

"Do you need help?" He's bad at this, he waves his hand awkwardly. "What I mean is you say that people usually see you because they need help. What if I see you because you do?"

That's just usually how it goes for the Doctor.

[killedwithlove]

"... that doesn't make sense."

Cole never needs help, except when he did, but he doesn't now. "What could I need help with?"

[not_the_question]

"If I knew the answer to that question, I wouldn't have to ask... You just... Well, it seems like anyone who helps others on a regular basis might discover a time that they need help themselves..."

He's really not good at this at all Except that he understands a bit. Even he needs help sometimes.

[killedwithlove]

"I did need help. And Rhys helped me. Made me realise what I was again. But now I can do what I am."

[not_the_question]

"Compassion. But 'suffering with' someone also means that you can let people suffer with you..."

Not that the Doctor is any good at it, but he does try. Sometimes. He's much better at helping than he is at being helped.

[killedwithlove]

"... but I'm not suffering."

Cole still looks confused.

[not_the_question]

"You sound certain of that. What about the story that you carry with you?"

The Doctor thought the story made Cole sad. Perhaps he had misunderstood.

"If you don't know how to join with someone else's suffering, then you don't know how to be 'compassion'."

[killedwithlove]

"My memories. Our memories. Just because I remember doesn't mean I'm suffering. I helped Cole. Not enough, but I helped. He didn't die alone."

Cole frowns slightly. "I don't know how to be Compassion. I am." You might as well tell a rock it was bad at being a rock. "I feel the suffering of everyone. But it's not my suffering. It's theirs. I feel it so I can help."

That's what a spirit does. The fact that he's not just a spirit hasn't changed Cole's opinion on it, though maybe it really should...

[not_the_question]

"You're a very curious soul."

Because, well, the Doctor's problem is he gets too emotional. Too attached. And so he really doesn't know what else to say to that. But not a bad soul, just curious.

[killedwithlove]

"I'm curious about lots of things," Cole agrees, ever amicable.

[not_the_question]

"Yes you are. I have experienced that already. But I mean... you're curious to me. Unlike anyone I've ever encountered before."

And he doesn't quite know what to do with him.

[killedwithlove]

"Oh. I'm not like anything most people have encountered. Solas said I'm unique." There's no pride in the statement. It just is.

[not_the_question]

He nods his head once. "Clearly."

He shifts his weight between his legs. "Right, well. I much be going. I'm sure I'm very busy."

[killedwithlove]

"Okay."

And Cole leaves. He's just sort of... there and then not. It's just how he is.

[not_the_question]

The Doctor looks around very confused. He runs his hand through his hair, trying to understand what just happened.

After a moment or two, he continues on his way.