Open | If you forget, is it like it never happened?

[killedwithlove]

WHO: Cole and anyone who needs or wants him
WHAT: Cole's back. If he ever left. Who really knows?
WHEN: Now until end of February.
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: If you want a personal starter, drop me a PM or find me at jemisard

Those sensitive to such things might notice that Cole is back. He's hard to remember at the best of times, and after such a long period, Cole himself expects virtually no one to remember who he is or that he's allowed to be here.

But it doesn't stop him doing what he does. Moving about, helping those he can.

Comments

[circleprodigy]

"So, memories serve as an anchor. That makes sense, I suppose. That sometimes helps us mortals from losing our way as well, you know." Other times, it just makes everything worse, but Inessa's not one of those people and she doesn't want to speak for them.

As she watches Garahel approach, Inessa glances back, caught between curiosity and self-consciousness. Though polite to all unless there's a reason not to be, she isn't exactly the short to let others peel back the layers without getting to know them first. The sudden notion that Cole might have done it anyway is a rather unsettling one. "...how much do you know, exactly? Can you stop yourself from knowing, or does it happen regardless?"

[killedwithlove]

"It let me understand."

Cole shrugs, aware of her sudden discomfort. "Can you stop yourself from hearing a scream? From feeling ice pressed against your skin?" He knows what he needs to to help. He knows a lot more, but he doesn't want to admit that now.

[circleprodigy]

"...no. I suppose not." Patting Garahel before the large, muscly canine heads to Cole, she gathers her thoughts. "But I hope that lack of filter does not extend to sharing such impressions verbally, to those not involved. If you can help others, by all means, but...not everyone wants their burdens revealed publicly. That can create its own problems, however noble your intentions."

[killedwithlove]

"I only act on what will help. I understand secrets, Inessa. Part of Compassion is understanding. I understand."

He knows when to not say anything. He keeps a lot of secrets, even if he sometimes encourages people to speak theirs.

He takes the ball, hand running over Garahel's head. "I'm getting better at sorting it all out."

[circleprodigy]

"Good. I'm very glad to hear it. It can't be easy, learning about what's appropriate this side of the Veil, but I appreciate the effort." The tension within her eases at that; 'getting better' doesn't mean flawless and she'll still try to be circumspect. Even so, the fact that Cole isn't oblivious to such matters is a definite relief. As Garahel leans against him, she smiles. "Watch out, he can knock people off their feet even without meaning to do so."

[killedwithlove]

"He won't. I don't fall over easily." He leans into Garahel easily, because he can't be taken by surprise by a motion like this. "Not hurting people matters most to me."

[circleprodigy]

The affectionate, muscly brick wall that is Garahel happily wiggles against Cole for a moment longer until he looks up at him, eager to continue. Inessa, smile softening, nods. "The Inquisition is lucky to have you, then, Cole. It's easy to lose sight of compassion when fighting so desperate a war. We can't afford to forget that without such standards, we are no better than those we fight."

[killedwithlove]

The ball gets thrown again.

"Act without cruelty. Without the want to hurt. Sometimes killing has to happen, but there's no reason why it should be cruel."

[circleprodigy]

As Garahel rushes off once more, Inessa contemplates Cole's words. She doesn't disagree, though certain enemies come to mind that make compassion a much harder feat than it would be otherwise.

"...what do you sense of the Red Templars? The Venatori?"

[killedwithlove]

"Burning, it aches in my bones, but they said I'll be stronger, better able to serve, it's fuzzy and angry... I don't like being near Red Templars. The lyrium makes them bright and burning." It masks the person in the haze of the rage and heat.

"Venatori are all people. Like everyone here. Some of them are just jerks. Some of them do what they think they have to."

[circleprodigy]

She nods, not surprised by any of it, but nonetheless holding back a shudder as she listens. "I don't blame you for not wanting to be near them, especially the Red Templars. I want to pity them, knowing what the red lyrium has done to their bodies, but then I think about the atrocities they've committed and it's...difficult."

[killedwithlove]

"The lyrium acts. The person... screams silently. They're not them anymore." The person is a host for the lyrium and little more in many of them. "There are memories, but they don't have meaning. There are words, but they have nothing to communicate. Who they were is lost in what they are. Killing them is kindest."

[circleprodigy]

"...and it prevents further harm to others. I've heard what they've done in Emprise du Lion, seen a bit of it on the way to Skyhold. I wonder if it will ever be the same again." Those ominously glowing red spikes jutting out of the ground are proof enough of its enduring corruption, even as the Inquisition's forces have ousted the Red Templars.

"And your thoughts on Grey Wardens? Those who gave into the plan, and those who did not." She lifts an eyebrow, almost afraid to ask but too curious to hold back. They don't have the best reputation lately, despite their valorous past.

[killedwithlove]

"Yes. It stops them spreading the pain."

He gives an involuntary shudder at the mention of Emprise du Lion and threads flash, tug in various directions, pains he knows he can't ease but he still feels anyway. "The worst story, the best story, it's not a story, it's our lives, whispered words wriggling into warping ways-"

He shakes his head, trying to dislodge it. "They did what they thought was best. They were wrong, but they weren't bad. Just very scared and desperate. Erimond hurt them, used them.

"He was an asshole."

[circleprodigy]

"Yes, he was." Inessa's voice, quiet, is filled with an unusual amount of venom. She can spare no pity for the man who nearly destroyed the Grey Wardens in service to his master. And if a spirit of Compassion is calling him an asshole? Then she's not going to trouble herself about that fact.

"They were scared, yes, but it's going to take time for them to earn forgiveness. Blood magic never leads anywhere virtuous. I just wish they had remembered that in time."

[killedwithlove]

"I forgive them."

Without question, without anything more. "They were wrong, but they know that. They're suffering, their guilt heavier than the song in their souls. I can't help them, but I would if I could."

[circleprodigy]

"Kill Corypheus, and that will be help enough. I know many fear the false Calling being renewed somehow.

...I would be lying if I said that I was not among them." As for whether or not she forgives her own kind for what they did...not yet. It's easier to forgive on the outside, but she saw them at their worst, and they turned against her for speaking out. That's going to sting for a long time.

[killedwithlove]

Cole wasn't betrayed by them. They were wrong and their guilt is punishment. Most will never forgive themselves.

"I can't kill him. I don't know how. The Grey Wardens probably have the best knowledge of how."

[circleprodigy]

Inessa shakes her head, doubtful. "Perhaps, but we won't be able to implement it ourselves. He's proven how easy it is to manipulate us. The best we can do is pass it on to others."

[killedwithlove]

"Yes. Secrets are sometimes good, but being secretive... it's not helped. Mistrust, suspicion, too isolationist, too unwilling to reach for help."

The Wardens had closed ranks and nearly been wiped out for their folly.

[circleprodigy]

"I...can't argue with any of that." She sighs, shoulders slumping a little. "That we must often think in terms of the ends justifying the means does not help. An unchecked Blight could consume the world, and we know it. That desperation can lead to extremes, if not kept in check."

[killedwithlove]

Cole is quiet and then decides to talk about things he shouldn't know and does.

"People don't understand. And they won't understand about the Joining, about the taint you drink, not at first. But, they'll come to understand. It's a sacrifice you make, to know you will die from Blight or Calling, to keep others safe and people will come to understand that. They'll be scared. But they'll start to understand."

[circleprodigy]

Upon realizing the extent of Cole's Grey Warden knowledge, Inessa stiffens in surprise. It figures he would learn what few outside the order are ever meant to know, for good reason. "Understanding is one thing, but...if that knowledge is widespread, it could still mean the death of the order regardless. If others knew what to expect, realized the depth of that sacrifice, recruits would dwindle to practically nothing. That would be...problematic when the next blight strikes."

If no Grey Wardens still exist, then how will the new archdemon be stopped? Such questions doubtless keep the senior Wardens awake at night, even those sane enough to refuse Clarel's path of extremism. There are at least two more Blights to go, if legend is correct.

Garahel comes charging back, weaving his way around people with single-minded purpose. Fortunately, he's fast enough that no one is knocked over by his antics.

[killedwithlove]

"But it would help them understand why the Grey Wardens are so important. And... it would give you time to find another answer. What worked when the world was washed with blood, anything, anything, it works, it doesn't matter how or why, it works, we know it works-

"They found an answer and stopped looking." And Cole knows there's always lots of ways to work things out.

[circleprodigy]

"I don't deny that they settled and didn't pursue other avenues, but allowing the incoming Warden numbers to rapidly dwindle would shorten time rather than extend it while we search for more. It would be trading one problem for another."

Is even another solution? After all this time, no one's found anything to counter the darkspawn other than that ritual. Perhaps it's well-hidden or whatnot, but the fact that no other solution has surface in ages has her skeptical even as she would love for it to exist.