faderift | get me out of this place before I cause more damage

WHO: Church, Malcolm, Rachette, yyyyyou
WHAT: Catch-all!
WHEN: March/Draconis not-darkest-timeline-time
WHERE: Around Skyhold
NOTES: Hit me up on plurk if you want to start something else specific

[Rachette is still dropping by unsuspecting classes after how enlightening some of them have been. It could be any of them! Typically she doesn't actually sit in them, more like lingers and loiters just outside the edges, but still, call her out on it. Or call her out on inquiring about ingredients to make grenades with one of the merchants hanging around the courtyard. Another thing she's doing just around the hold is practicing her rogue-ish abilities. This means she's up on the battlements, running around on the edges. She's doing backflips off walls and sneak-stabbing dummies. She's finding new and inventive ways to get around the hold, sometimes with the unspoken stipulation that she can't touch the ground/floor. Also, lurking and hiding in shadows, trying to be unseen. If you get that feeling of someone watching you...might be her.]

[Church is still spending a lot of time at the tavern doing actual work. If you've seen him last month doing some stocking, bartending, and other Work, he's only gotten better. You might see him sometimes with a couple of cups of boozy liquid, studying them before taking a sip and making a face. Sometimes it's a good face, sometimes it's a bad face. And then jotting down notes. What a nerd. Continuing the nerd streak, he's gone back to hovering around in the library, taking even more notes. Some of these seem to be on food-based sciences, for what you could call science. And he's also busted out the maps again, though he's focused on the Free Marches now instead of the gigantic world map.]

[Malcolm has been spending more and more time in meetings and doing work for Cassandra, primarily regarding the pending move the Advisors are planning. When not with her, he goes about his normal routine as best he can, from prayer to training, but he's also spending plenty of downtime in the main hall, eating whatever there is to be found and reading and writing plenty of documents. You might find him with the feathery end of a quill resting against his lips in deep thought. If you fancy a more action-oriented Seeker, then the courtyard finds him instructing several troops in swords and shields. It's not his forte, but he's skilled enough in it to not find any trouble. Despite fake weapons and practice shields, he uses his own shield with the Seeker eye emblazoned on it for the demonstrations. Later on, you might catch him working out alone, or taking a rest with a splash of water to the face.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Baking, that's awesome! You can make cakes! Cookies! Brownies! Chocolate chip brownies." Do they have chocolate chips here??? "You've got a leg up on me; I usually just hang around the kitchen and snag some fresh stuff I probably shouldn't, but who can resist my disarming smile?"

Like so. Disarming smile. Totally charming. Bet he's gotten a lot of things thrown at him.

She laughs at his enthusiasm. Baking appeals to her because she loves how what she makes transforms. Of course whenever you cook anything it can change color, texture, or what have you, but when you bake bread, you start with a sticky lump of dough and it bakes into a big, fluffy loaf with a crunchy crust. A cake is liquid, but then turns into a solid. It's incredible what she can create.

"What is a brownie?" she asked, because sadly Thedas hasn't invented them yet. It's a tragedy, really.

Her eyes narrow, though her lips lift in a playful smile. "I can certainly resist it." No, really; look at her resisting it and not smiling back or anything. "And if I caught you stealing something you shouldn't, I would rap your knuckles with a wooden spoon." She knocks her knuckles on the bar top as if that's the sound it would make.

"It's...it's kinda like a moist cake, but really chocolatey?" Huh, what is the technical difference between cake and brownie? "Usually a little thicker, like in consistency." Sadly he doesn't know any recipes off the top of his head. Or anywhere else in his head.

"Wow, old school knuckle rapping punishment. Very Catholic school." Church you're Jewish. Also, she doesn't know what Catholicism is. "You gonna rap anything else with a wooden spoon?" Suggestive eyebrow waggle! Kinkshaaaaame.

"I like chocolate." There was never an abundance of it in the Circles, but being that it was Orlais, of course there was chocolate being passed around. It wouldn't be the Empire if there wasn't decadence nearly everywhere.

"Very what school?" she asks. So many references are flying over her head today. But you know what? The more Church tells her, the better she can understand him in the future. And that last comment of his has her standing from her bar stool and leaning against the bar to reach out, trying to whap his stomach with the back of her hand. You come into her Thedas and try to kinkshame her???

"What about your stomach, hmm? Is that what you meant?" No, she knows it isn't what he meant, but he is entirely too obsessed with his dick.

"Pfffffff, no, stoppit!" he laughs, leaning away and waving a hand at her. He makes no apologies for his dick. He's maybe had a little bit more vodka than he should, but fuck if he shows it. Much. Try tequila next time, that'll be a barrel of laughs.

"It's a religious school, cliche is really strict nuns. Teachers. Ruler to the knuckles, whap. There's also another cliche involving what the schoolgirls dress in, but you might hit me for that one, too."

Sometimes he just has to satisfy himself by mentally hearing Tucker go bow chicka bow wow. Sometimes he wishes his buddy was here and sometimes he realizes how terrible that would be.

"Hmm, it sounds like the schools Templars attend when they are young." Not that she really knows too much about that side of the coin, but she knows they were taught by Chantry sisters.

"I think I might hit you for a great deal of things you say. Either I should be more lenient, or you should not say such things." And with that, she resumes her seat and pauses to tap her lip in pretend-thought. "I wonder which is more likely to occur first." Teaching Church to think before he speaks is no easy feat, after all. Of course, the fact that he didn't just say what schoolgirls wear shows some level of self-awareness. He's learning!

"Anyway, I think maybe you have tested enough of these drinks all on your own. Why not make one for me to try and I shall tell you what I think?"

"Last thing I'm gonna do is get involved in Thedas religious stuff," he says with a short raise of his hands. "Back home there's, just, so many religions all over that, like, I get there are a bunch of predominant ones here but that's about it that I can tell? Elves got something, qunari got...something-ish, and then there's Andraste. Do dwaves have a thing? No, don't answer it, I just said I'm not getting involved. Drinks!"

Because Church is not really the best source of information on religions. Not even Judaism, honestly.

He's got two more glasses with a bit of clear liquid in them. He lifts one and offers it to her. "No flavoring, just still trying to tweak it to get good straight up vodka. I could try mixing this other one with...something. Probably not ale. Maybe wine. I don't know that wine and vodka go together. If only we had like...ginger ale or something raspberry...or orange juice. Do you have oranges here? Because orange juice and vodka is a classic, a screwdriver. Is what we call it. For a name. Mixed drinks have to have names, the sillier and raunchier, the better."

Christine opens her mouth to explain what religion dwarves have, but when he stops her, she smiles knowingly and takes the offered drink. Religion isn't something she's keen to get into either. Not anymore. The Maker is some figure that abandoned humanity because -- what? Humans didn't deserve him? And he needs them to sing the Chant from all corners of the world before he'll come back. If he's really all powerful and all seeing, he should notice the faithful and show some sign he supports them. This hands off approach just makes Christine wonder if he even exists. That's why she's so fascinated with the Avvar gods. She knows they're real. She's spoken to a few of the household gods of Honey Badger hold. And everyone knows they're spirits. They're simply raised up as gods because they help people.

Taking a small sip of vodka, she makes a bit of a face and swirls the liquid in the glass. "It is strong," she says, "but I think the flavor will help. Oranges grow in warmer climates than the south, but they can be imported. Obviously that makes them pricier."

Setting down the glass, she crosses her arms on the bar top and gives an intrigued look. "I think naming drinks is something you would excel at. You have a good imagination."

get me out of this place before I cause more damage

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