faderift | Closed | Cast your eyes on the ocean

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Closed | Cast your eyes on the ocean

WHO: Nathaniel and Anders
WHAT: Anders has been stressed about being back in Kirkwall, so Nate surprises him with a date night.
WHEN: Late Cloudreach
WHERE: Kirkwall/the docks
NOTES: Will update with any warnings but this is likely to just be some fluff.

It's coming close to sunset, where the sun is low and the light is gold. Nathaniel walks Anders out onto one pier, with what looks suspiciously like a picnic basket on his other arm. But they're walking away from land, and Nathaniel has said nothing of what this is about. They stop when they arrive at a small dinghy; her sails are still furled, and her owner is waiting for Nathaniel. Nathaniel pays him coin and then holds his hand out to help Anders into the boat.

"Would you fancy a little sunset voyage, my dear?"

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He's shot glances at the picnic basket as they've walked, raising an eyebrow and getting no answer. Walking out to the water doesn't help; nobody wants to sit on the docks as night starts to fall and Anders is fairly certain they both know this.

And then there's a boat and an offered hand and Anders can't keep from beaming. They're getting out of Kirkwall for a time, just the two of them, and Maker, that thought feels good. Anders takes Nate's hand happily and steps inside.

"I would most definitely fancy that, love." He helps Nate get in, taking the basket for a moment and setting it to the side before getting comfy on the seat next to his husband.

The man who owns the boat is staring at Anders and nervously rubbing the coin given him. Nathaniel is too occupied getting started. He sits at first, using an oar to push away from the docks. After, it's hoisting sail and getting a good ways out from the docks that's the goal. By the time the sky changes colors, they are past the Gallows, and at last outside even the sea-gates. Free.

That's when Nathaniel heaves to and sits with an elated grin, opening the basket. It's been ages since he was able to sail, but he remembers it. He remembers it being like this, like flying a kite that moves you with it. And now it is just them, the wind, and the water.

The basket contains fruit, fresh bread, meat, and wine. Nathaniel gives Anders his share first, then sits beside him, arranging his own dinner.

"I haven't done this in years," he says happily. "I should buy a boat. Any time the city feels too close, we can get out here. See it from a better angle."

He knows the staff and robes make people nervous, even if they don't recognize him, but he's decided he's not letting anything take away from this. Not when he's getting out of the city, away from Kirkwall, and with Nate on an outing that's just the two of them. No darkspawn, no healing, no demons.

Once Nate's done parceling out dinner, Anders leans against him and rests his head on Nate's shoulder.

"I've never done this." It feels like a physical weight has been lifted off his chest. "If we can afford a boat, we should get one. Maker, it's like I can breathe again." Food can wait. He's comfortable and outside of Kirkwall.

"But you understand there's no wall," Nathaniel says, wrapping his arm around Anders' shoulders. "We're always free to leave for a little while. And maybe after a few times like this, you'll start seeing the city a little differently. We could never be this alone at Skyhold. Kirkwall is different from how you left it last, and you're here under different circumstances. All the mages in this city are free. Every last one of them. Including you."

He presses a kiss to hair as golden as the sky above. The waves are changing color as well, the sea rocking them gently under a clear sky.

The world around them is transforming as the sun continues to lower, and Anders is more than content to curl up against Nate and watch it.

"There's no physical wall," he agrees. "It feels heavy, the memories and the looks. Like everyone knows everything I've done wrong, even if few of them recognize me. I know it's in my head. If that knowledge made life easier... But this feels free, here, with you."

He can listen to Nate's heartbeat here and not feel the need to strain for the noise of footsteps. It's actually relaxing. Anders twists a little to place a kiss on Nate's cheek before resting against him again.

"I was always surrounded by everything, the last time in Kirkwall. Justice was constantly aware of everything that was wrong, my people were being hurt, there was no getting away from it. Now that's not going on, but I can see the damage I did and worry that things will only repeat if we don't find a way to keep mages free. I've so much to do still. Heal people, try to help heal the city, find a cure for the Blight, try to help provide for the future generations, but out here... It's the two of us and it's peaceful."

"It will always be the two of us." Nathaniel puts down his food, and wraps both arms around Anders and is bathed in light and shadow and color. "I'm so glad to know you love this. This is a pastime we couldn't have in Skyhold. I want to make it a pastime, if we can. I can even show you how to sail, so it's something we can do together. Once I've saved enough for a boat, we can do this any time we like. We can escape. It'll be something for just the two of us. I love you so much."

The water is like violet taffeta shot with black, while the sky is fire. All of the world is so far away.

"Yes, please, my love." This is something he'd never known he'd wanted, the option to simply sail for a time with Nate, and he's being offered it. Nate's opening doors he'd not thought of before.

"You free me." From the city, his own mind, his baggage... Anders doesn't know how to do the same back, but he hopes he can figure it out. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so much. And at times like this it almost feels like you're the healer." Healer, hero, both.

There's a little chill starting to touch the air, and Anders snuggles closer. It makes a fine excuse. "You don't think there will be upset at you teaching me to sail?" He's got griffon-riding privileges, but he's fairly certain most people don't know that.

A chuckle. "I don't care. They can get as red in the face as they please and I would not care. And you will learn to love the process as much as the result, I think. It's remarkably simple, just a matter of maths and nature. Even long-range sailing is only a matter of ciphering. Sines and cosines, nothing worse. But short-range is simply physics. Like flying a kite that carries you along with it."

He picks up a piece of fruit and sets it against Anders' bottom lip. "The best parts of life are wonderfully simple."

He smiles and takes a bite of the fruit before leaning forward a little and kissing the hand that fed him.

"Flying a kite that carries you along with it. I like the sound of that." He takes a small portion of meat off his own plate and holds it off, offering it as a bite for Nate. "I would love to sail with you. And one day, when we've our place near the sea, we can sail as often as we'd like."

Times like this make it seem possible. He has some of what he'd always dreamed about, after all, a loving relationship, a cat, and some freedom despite how he's watched. Why not the rest? Why not a life that was his alongside a life that is Nate's, and the cottage, something simple and quiet?

"We could try our hand at fishing sometime, even. See if we can catch something. I've never done it."

"Next time. It's been even longer since I fished than it has been since I sailed." He takes the bite offered and chews, kissing the top of Anders' head again. "You're letting me teach you things. You really do love me."

Nathaniel loves this man. He loves that he doesn't pretend or play guessing games. He loves that he never has to guess whether he is loved. And he loves that they can share thoughts, that they can engage each other. That Anders' loftiness and Nathaniel's practicality can balance each other out.

Edited 2017-04-29 03:05 (UTC)

He chuckles, tilting his head back for a moment to glance at Nate's face.

"Why wouldn't I let you teach me things? You know them and I trust you. And if anyone asks, we're doing something practical." He grabs a bit of bread for himself. "I've no desire at all to turn down reasons to spend more time with you."

The opposite, even. He'll take every bit of time he can justify that doesn't make Nate feel crowded.

"I really do love you. I never want you to doubt that." Nate deserves confidence and firm ground. He gives that to Anders, after all, and doesn't let Anders' doubts grow like they try to do. "I've bound my life to yours because I want this."

Nathaniel beams. "You will love sailing. There's really nothing like it. Once you know what you're doing, you're just manipulating a machine to take you wherever you want. There are no roads on the sea, no limits except your supplies. And once you're out there, you're really gone. Nobody's likely to find you. Even a bird's wings get too tired to fly far from land, but sailing is the ultimate freedom."

He reaches up to rest his fingers against the sail.

"Sometimes I wonder if you know what you're offering me." The look on Anders' face is thoughtful, though warm. "I was supposed to stay inside a tower on an island in the middle of a lake, and you're showing me the options I, I literally would have killed for. Have killed for."

He's yelled about no Templar taking him alive and he means it. When they've attacked, he's felt satisfaction at ending them.

"You're giving me them, Nathaniel. You're giving me the world."

"I'm not giving you anything," Nathaniel says, his voice light as the air around them. "This...it doesn't come from my hands. I'm just showing you how to use something that's already yours, love."

Anders takes those hands now, holding them for a moment as he shakes his head. Putting some things into words is difficult, and there's a few moments of quiet as he tries to sort this bit out.

"I am... I'm part of what holds me back. I didn't think to take this as mine because before it hasn't been mine. Even now, if I was to go sailing on my own, I'd likely be met with several people at the docks, a great deal of questions, and a request to search any pouches I took along."

It's a pressure he both tries and doesn't try to forget - he's earned the suspicion, but he doesn't like it.

"By you taking me here, love, it's a date. You're trusted, and you are giving me this. When we return, at most we'll get a gagging noise from Alistair. You're the factor that changes it."

That is a very good point. Nathaniel considers how surprised the man who rented them the boat looked. After a moment, he nods.

"We'll try to keep it quiet, then. And who knows? Maybe it will come in useful for you one day, if I'm not there for you."

Like if he dies of the Blight and leaves Anders behind. He breathes heavily for a moment, and then kisses his husband's brow.

"You will love it, I promise."

Edited 2017-04-29 23:07 (UTC)

Nate's hands get a squeeze before he's closing his eyes for the kiss.

"I already do." There's so much space around them, open and clear, no walls, no stares, just the fading sunlight sparking off the night-black sea and torches coming to life here and there in the distant city. He can hold his head up and breathe and it's actually peaceful.

"Not even the Anderfels felt this good. Though they were certainly warmer," he adds with a grin. It isn't a complaint. He's comfortable, and Nate is warm against him.

Anders picks up his plate and starts eating in earnest, leaning against his husband.

"I rowed Lake Calenhad in Templar armor once. This is far more relaxing."

A surprised outburst of laughter. "I thought you swam Lake Calenhad. Wait--is this a separate story I haven't heard?"

They'll have to do something about that.

He laughs too.

"Seven escapes, Nate. Swimming only worked the once. The boat was rather crucial in most of my escapes, after all." After another bite, he launches into the story with a few exaggerations for the story's sake.

The sky turns from gold to red to pale purple to dark indigo, the moon rising and the stars appearing one by one. Eventually it really is time to return, as wonderful as the evening has been. The sea-gates are closed past a certain hour.

They arrive back at the docks, where the owner of the boat awaits, sitting on a crate with his hands clasped over his knees. He raises his head when Nathaniel approaches, the boat moored securely. He stands, but it is Anders he approaches.

"Serrah. I...don't think you'd remember me. You delivered my daughter Sara. And you saved her when she got ill with the croup and couldn't breathe. You wouldn't take our coin then, so...I'll not take yours now."

He offers the coins back to a stunned Nathaniel, who looks to his husband questioningly.

He'd frozen, bracing himself when the man comes near, and after the words he's still frozen for a few seconds. For all he's snapped at people that he's saved lives too, it's not something he believes every day. And yet here is proof, and with the name the man's face is placeable.

"Your second. The redhead, took after your sister, you said." They'd needed their coin badly then, he could see it, but now the man's clothes aren't so ragged and he doesn't look hungry. "I... Thank you." It's not for the coins. Yes, funds are a little tight, but being remembered for those things too makes Kirkwall feel a little less like a weight around his ankle.

"Go ahead, love." They'll pay it forward, and with that thought another comes to mind. He hesitates, and then goes for it. "I'll be reopening the Clinic. Do you happen to know if any of the supply stashes survived?"

Nathaniel gives his husband a surprised look, but does not argue. Does not even look like he's going to argue. It's just. News, to him, that's all.

The man shakes his head. "'Fraid not, serrah. With you gone, your...Lirene, was it? Lady with the shop? Whoever it was, they showed people the caches. They was needed, trust me, serrah."

He nods right away. Not for a moment does he want to look upset with the news.

"Her name's Lirene, yes, and I'm glad to hear she made it. I wasn't... A lot of my associates died, and I hadn't heard her fate." Likely the man, and most of Darktown, knows what went on there. Anders doesn't need to rehash the slaughter. "I'm just glad they helped. You can, if you'd like, you can let what's left of the regulars know I can be found with the Inquisition, too. If they need me."

None of that group would inform authorities or the guard or pull together a mob. They'd protected him before, and he'd been their healer.

Anders gives Nate a smile that's a little sad but mostly happy. So many had been lost, but not everything, and even after what he'd done he'd been able to help with the supplies.

"Give your wife and children my regards, please." He reaches out to take Nate's hand. While he's a very social creature, today has been a lot of emotions and he's ready to walk to the warehouse and process them. And cuddle his husband and cat.

Nathaniel takes Anders' hand. The man gives them both a nod.

"You can use my boat any time you like. Well. Except during the day, while I'm fishing. Which...that's early mornings, before the sun is up, till the afternoon. I'm usually abed before sundown, but I wanted to give you back your money. And tell you there's people here who remember what you did for this city. The Grand Cleric was a good woman, but she only gave us her prayers. You gave us our lives."

Edited 2017-04-30 00:34 (UTC)

His grasp on Nate's hand tightens for a moment. A good woman, who he killed. It's one thing to think about it in the abstract - templars coming at him and him striking them down - but the identity of a victim has a real weight.

"Thank you." His voice is heavier now, but his expression is at least calm. "I appreciate the offer, and I think we'll likely be taking you up on it." Definitely, really.

"I..." Anders trails off before swallowing. "I hope to help better, this time." He glances at Nate, hoping they can leave and it's not rude. This is escalating to a point where he feels a little anxious because he simply doesn't know what to do with the man's gratitude in context. He killed someone this man thought was a good woman and he's still being thanked. "Do better. In general. I'll be trying."

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Closed | Cast your eyes on the ocean

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