faderift | [OPEN] Kindness is a light in Kirkwall

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[OPEN] Kindness is a light in Kirkwall

WHO: Cole; anyone who needs him
WHAT: Cole's been convinced to come to Kirkwall to help people so he is going to help the hell out of them.
WHEN: Covering the month of Bloomingtide
WHERE: Anywhere BUT the Gallows
NOTES: Will probably end up dealing with lots of the awful from the Gallows. PM this journal or

jemisard for an individual starter

Cole never wanted to come here. He wanted to leave, to go elsewhere, but he was convinced that here he is most needed and thus, here he is.

Kirkwall scares him. Deeply scares him, so much that he barely goes into the city at first, but he slowly starts picking out the individuals among the screaming horror of the city, the people who he can help, who still be touched and brought back.

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Cole's sudden presence provokes startled barking in Garahel, who's not often caught off-guard. If Cole were human, he likely wouldn't be, but his spirit gifts supersede a mabari's well-trained senses. Inessa glances over sharply, tense for all of a second before recognizing that face and voice. "Ah--Cole. It has been some time. I didn't know you had followed us to Kirkwall."

How could she have, when all her available time has been sucked into improving the Gallows? The Gallows, with restless spirits and moving statues--she fights back that anxiety spike with a deep breath, looking upward again to the branches of the wide tree. "That's how it is in Denerim, too. We don't have much beauty or heritage, so we cherish what remains.

And are they in need of comfort these days? Is that why you're here now?" She remembers his name and purpose, that clinging to her even when the exact details of his face were hazy. But now that he's in front of her, it all snaps back into place.

"I didn't follow. I just came. They convinced me I can do more good here. That I won't fall."

He holds out a hand to Garahel, but doesn't actually look at him, watching the tree instead.

"I think most people here need comfort, but I don't know if I can help a lot of them. Their pain is so deep and old, even if I can tease it apart, will they unravel with it? I don't know." He rocks on his feet, hugging himself briefly. "I do what I can, but it's not enough. I don't like that."

Garahel sniffs at that hand before licking it, leaning into Cole for a moment before curiously sniffing at the tree. Inessa's gaze lingers on their new companion, thoughtful. It's not often anyone cares about the fate of city elves, but trust a spirit of Compassion to do it.

"Even so, every bit helps. Alienage folk are used to being overlooked, their needs considered last if they ever are at all. A benign focus on their needs is a rare thing, and does more than you might realize. And...I'm thankful, for what you can do. This is not my home, but I have not forgotten everything."

"I try to bring food. Their needs are... easier, in a way. When you don't have what you need, then the gift of having enough is worth more than crown jewels."

Warmth. Food. Shelter. Once those needs were met, there was space for emotions, for wants, to grieve and love and do anything but desperately try to survive.

"Inessa... if a man enjoys hurting his wife and children, is it wrong or right to stop him?"

Stop might not mean 'stop', per se.

About to agree with him on matters of simple needs, Inessa goes rigid at that question. Her lips form a thin line, eyes darkening as she's guessing this is more than hypothetical.

"That should not continue, but 'stopping' him is a last resort, not a first. At least if you mean what I believe. A spirit warning him of the error of his ways could be very effective. If not, a stronger form of intimidation is called for, to encourage him to depart the city and not return. What's important is that the hurting ceases, but taking a life to ensure that is not always necessary."

Cole still doesn't look at her and there's nothing like shame in his posture for asking her. "I don't want him to leave. If he leaves, he'll just do it again, somewhere else to someone else. I don't know how to scare people."

He pauses and amends. "Not on purpose. And I'm not a spirit like spirit. I'm a human like spirit. That's not very scary."

"You underestimate how startling a human-like spirit can be, especially when you seem to appear out of nowhere and speak of their own thoughts and memories. A mage might have some understanding of it, but ordinary people have little likelihood of context or experience. If he values his life, he might listen to you. If he's a fool...well, he was warned. If there is no other course, I won't mourn his loss."

Watching Garahel out of the corner of her eye, she smiles a little as the alienage children begin to take notice of him. Mabari aren't a common fixture here, so they don't seem to know what to make of him at first. But she's confident Garahel will win them over. That smile fades as her attention focuses anew on Cole. "That is the opinion of this Grey Warden, for what it's worth. I'm aware how little that worth is, these days."

Her voice is quiet, bitter. She's not certain she can forgive the Wardens who turned on her after she protested Clarel's plan, made Weisshaupt a prison instead of a point of pride. Their extremism will taint the Wardens for a long time to come, and people will view her and others through that lens. Nevermind what the protesters went through.

Edited 2017-05-10 03:25 (UTC)

"You being a Grey Warden doesn't change the worth of your opinion to me. I know who argued and who agreed, I can feel the guilt of the blood magic like a stain across their voices that can't be lifted."

Other will judge for being a Warden. Cole won't. Cole doesn't know how to judge that. His opinions are always based on individuals, on actions, thoughts, intents, not on being a Warden.

"I'll try and scare him into stopping. I don't like men who hurt their families."

"Nor I, trust me." Inessa shakes her head, lips forming a thin line. She's less thinking of the man's welfare than encouraging Cole to cross that line. Who knows what that would do to a spirit of Compassion, especially repeatedly?

She relaxes a little at Cole's words, always bracing herself for judgment when speaking with a non-Warden. "They should feel guilty, forevermore. To give into such transparent manipulation, to allow fear and extremism to override common sense...it will stain our order for a long time to come. Some lines should never be crossed."

No good ever comes of blood magic. She saw that ever since childhood, with Uldred.

Oh, Inessa. Cole is already quite the murderous little soul when he needs to be. Compassion doesn't kill, but Cole certainly does.

"They were desperate. Desperation makes people foolish." Cole has no actual opinion on blood magic itself. He understands the things said for it and against it, but in the end, he really only cares about people being hurt and exploited. "It doesn't excuse what they did; it explains it. The two aren't the same. Like understanding and agreeing."

"Truer words were never said." Inessa isn't exactly comforted, though. She's tired of desperation ruling all, whether excuse or explanation. The Grey Wardens should have been better than that, and she's worried they'll give into it later on, with even worse results.

She takes a deep, cleansing breath, the sight of the vhenadahl snapping her back from that past as well as Cole's voice and Garahel's soft whine.

"How deeply is desperation entrenched in Kirkwall these days? I've heard the tales, felt the thinness of the Veil...." And then her gaze slides over to him, concerned. "It affects you, doesn't it?"

Cole doesn't say anything for a while, but then, finally, he nods.

"Compassion, Mercy, Despair. I can feel it, all the time, centuries of despair leeched into the soil and stones with the blood of suicides and Tranquil. Minutes by minute, people trying to claw their way back from the brink. I try to catch their hand when they reach up. I can't, always."

He moves a little closer to her and it's maybe possible for her to feel that he's cooler than he was in Skyhold. Not cold, but he's lacking some warmth that Compassion should have.

"I can't stop hearing it. Feeling it. I can only try and make it better now. And sometimes, when I help people, they then go and help others." It's a conscious understanding, that he can make other people be kind by being kind to them. Something most spirits do, but never understand they're doing. Perpetuating themselves.

Tentatively, Inessa closes in to rest a hand on his arm. As one usually protective of her own personal space, she tries to respect others'. But Cole's words tear at her heart, aching for a spirit trying so hard to fulfill its purpose in a city which makes that so very difficult. Garahel lets out a soft whine, offering an affectionate bump.

"It must be discouraging, feeling so much suffering and despair. I don't envy the uphill battle you face, but I do appreciate everything you do to alleviate it. And you're right, it can spark a chain reaction. So even if one result seems insignificant, it may yield something more with time. Even if that doesn't happen, a moment of kindness can mean everything to those in need of it."

"I don't do it so people will help others. I do it because someone should. And I can." He can give and never run out of giving, because it's what he is.

And if he keeps reminding himself of that, it helps keep back the tiredness that sometimes nags him.

He glances at her hand and then up to her, offering a watery smile. "I shouldn't stay long. There's a pair of twins I've been leading to safe sleeping spots and they'll get tired soon." He shifts on the spot, looking awkward with the focus on him.

"All good reasons, Cole." Inessa nods, a small but warm smile as Cole's efforts are inspiring whether he knows it or not. That Kirkwall affects him and yet he still perseveres pings her own sense of duty. She's not sure if the thin Veil will ever not make her feel uncomfortable, but she can't do anything about that right now. It's better to focus on what can be done.

"I understand. They're fortunate to have your aid. If we can ever assist, please inform me over the crystals. I'm not so bound to the Gallows that I cannot leave it." Times have truly changed for a mage in residence to be able to say that, even if she is a Grey Warden.

Kirkwall affects him terribly, but he clings hard to being Compassion to stop himself slipping. He never wants to be what he was; the thing that made Rhys look at him with disgust.

"I don't like using the crystals," Cole admits softly. "It's just a sound, making words, but there's no feeling, no memory, nothing but... empty sound."

"I see." Inessa isn't bothered by it, but she can understand to some degree how very different and offputting that form of communication could be to a spirit. "I will never expect long conversations, then, but the offer is still there. A brief message is still helpful for coordination."

For an empath, it's a very cold, distant way of communicating which leaves him unable to feel the situation. Blind, deaf, a sensory deprivation in communication.

"Yes. I will use the crystal if I need to. If you are in the Gallows."

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[OPEN] Kindness is a light in Kirkwall

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