"Pretty sure I said I'd piss on a sodding wall if someone didn't give me a proper place but sure. Could take a look at this itch on my backside while I'm there too."
Oghren. King of Diplomats.
This was why he did the fighting and left the talking up to other people. Sorry, Bethany. You were definitely doing good work there but Oghren was just...Oghren.
Bethany, well. Bethany winced. Noticibly. Well, now they thought that all the Wardens here were barbarians who needed to piss on walls more than they needed to show the proper respect to a Warden Commander so.
That was just a thing that happened.
She put her smile back on, and stated simply, "Oghren would like a bathroom and a healer, please."
Nathaniel salutes as well, giving Humphreys a small smile.
"Looks like some of us already feel at home here, Commander," he says easily. "Senior Warden Nathaniel Howe. We met years ago, but I think you were a Senior Warden then. It's good to see you've put on a little less weight than age, though I can't say the same."
There's a sympathetic aside glance to poor Bethany, but other than that, Inessa bears Oghren's lack of manners with typical stoic silence. It's pointless to react, when he's just going to behave as he always does, and it's more important to focus on what's ahead. She dips a respectful nod to the Warden-Commander, as Garahel sniffs the air hopefully for any sign of food. He's starving, you see.
"Warden Serra, at your service. It's an honor, Commander." She falls silent again, content to observe even as she's silently hoping for a chance to get off those aching feet at some point in the near future.
Anders wasn't sure if he was relieved that Oghren wanted a healer who wasn't him, or insulted. It... isn't really the time to bother with it, though, especially as if Oghren wanted to mean an insult it would be obvious.
Especially-especially when he's a little too busy poking Nate's definitely not overly large stomach and then catching himself and saluting.
"I'm their spirit healer." Name? What name? He has no name. "I'll work on finding ways Howe he can lose weight, fear not." Put on weight. Please. At least they can have a real bed to work that out in.
Alistair doesn't offer a name either, mainly because he knows Humphreys knows, and if any of the Wardens behind him don't know and never ask him about any Archdemons then that's just fine with Alistair. He does salute, though, while simultaneously shaking his head and looking into the void with a mix of exasperated amusement and apology.
***
But Warden ranks including a number of unruly ragtag outcasts isn't a condition exclusive to the South. Humphreys may be too dignified for it all, but he doesn't seem surprised or offended, either, as he returns the salute to everyone who bothered. He even smiles wider at the healer being handsy with Howe. Meanwhile one of the Wardens behind him even laughs, stepping out of their loose formation and jerking her head toward the gate to beckon Oghren to follow—to a latrine, most likely. Probably not to be sacrificed in any magic rituals.
"I'm honored to meet you," Humphreys aims in the approximate direction of the new faces, then, "and to see you again," at the old ones. "We have a lot to discuss, but let's discuss it inside. The cook has been waiting to spring into action for days. And—" He pauses a moment, with dramatic skill, as he turns and gestures back toward the gate to invite them forward. "—we have chairs."
Teren has been her usual self on the journey over: capable, surly, and a little overly protective at times, but only in her way of ranging about the group on the road and keeping her watch in the quietest hours of the night. She doesn't talk much, but partakes in meals and drinking and is unafraid to swat Alistair away from the meal he's botching, if only to prevent the whole campsite burning down.
She stands toward the back on their arrival, tall and still and dour as ever, her gaze flitting over every nook and cranny of the Keep when it isn't scanning over Humphreys. She's beyond trusting cheerful greeters, regardless of the mission. One hand is always free to snatch a dagger off her back should the occasion call for it, and she smiles at no one.
...though she does curl her lip when Oghren speaks up, because Oghren is the worst.
Throughout the journey Felix had seemed almost cheery, though not enough to hum or get annoying. He just in general had a pretty positive outlook when he traveled with Wardens. Sure there was sleeping on the floor, and traveling through the Deep Roads, and Oghren - but honestly all of that was better than being dead.
At first, he had hangs back, mostly to let the people who knew the Warden-Commander greet him first.
"Chairs are always welcome after a long journey," he comments lightly. When attention is given him he salutes and introduces himself simply as 'Felix.' He isn't sure if any of these people have heard about what his Father did in Redcliffe and would rather avoid that if he can.
Well if this is a trap he figures he's lived a solid life and he's told Felsi where he went. So at least if things go wrong she can scream bloody murder that the father of her child got sacrificed to some scary god or whatever. But anyway he has to take a piss and a latrine is probably better than a wall.
Or 'accidentally' on Teren.
"Heh. So I get a pretty girl huh? Stick with me and I'll show you what fun we could have after I take my piss." Classy.
After having just returned from a month-long ride there isn't a lot of thrill from Ciri to get started on another so suddenly but the fighting helps cull the boredom. She dislikes the Deep Roads as much as some of the others, too many thoughts and wondering about the future, but tearing through Darkspawn does wonders for ignoring things.
And when the Warden fortress finally appears, Ciri hangs at the back of the group and adjusts the weight of her sword with others handle the more formal introductions. There is no salutes from her and, in fact, her expression remains utterly neutral.
"A drink or two wouldn't be bad either after the horrors we faced," she muses eyeing Alistair. "And who would have ever guessed it would come in the form of cooking."
Bethany has decided, in this brief little interlude, that acceptance is the better part of valor, and lets everyone do whatever they like to do in this introduction. Her lips might be twitching anyways, but she holds her head up a little. She's the Senior Mage-Warden, anyways.
It also gives her a chance to feel out any magic that might be around. She wants this to be a good visit!
...but the last time they wanted a good visit they got Weisshaupt or the Winter Palace so she is. Taking a page from Teren and Nathaniel's books. Polite, friendly, secretly cautious.
She smiles back at the Warden Commander's joke, though, and then giggles at Ciri, before she tipped her head down into a bow.
"You've never faced real horror until someone puts a bowl of 'Surprise Stew' in front of you." She dimpled. "Just let us know where we can stow our gear, and we will be delighted to join you."
No one's glaring, no one's shooting him suspicious looks as they put together the numbers and figure out who he is. It's nice.
Which means it's most definitely a trap.
At least he can try to help keep everyone alive, since he knows it's a trap and everything will go wrong soon enough. Maybe they can have chairs and food before they get attacked. That would be a pleasant change.
"Right. Lead on. Let's see what your cook is up to. Alistair, why don't we have a cook? Is there some rule that says we must have so many Wardens before we get a cook and nice chairs?"
It's always best to seem distracted and looking for luxuries when you know you're going to get attacked.
"We could always use Oghren as a chair after he's relieved himself."
After introducing herself, Inessa and Garahel slip away towards Ciri. She's always more at ease with her best friend at her side...which is not to say she's entirely so at this moment. Ciri's reaction and expression are noted, and though Inessa doesn't regret showing some manners, she can guess as to her companion's thought process. Anyone from Weisshaupt will never again be so quick to trust Warden authority, though she can hope for at least a few moments' peace before the other shoe is dropped. So, she'll wait to be lead to wherever and hopefully Garahel's curious sniffing around won't unearth anything awful on the way.
Kaisa, fresh from a lengthy trip that was about as pleasant as this one, had few complaints to offer. With Puppy at her side, she just went about doing what she can to help out, whether that be grabbing firewood, or making sure she doesn't try to cook. You're all welcome. But it's still a relief to see the Warden fortress, and there's a definite pep in her step as they approach.
She's quick to salute at the appropriate time, and looks like she's about to match the Warden Commander's almost-grin. Finally. Look at this place. An actual Warden fortress, filled with actual Wardens, and not a demon to be seen.
"Thank you for the kind invitation! It's so great to be here, you have no idea what it's been like, even in the Inquisition. Even before the Inquisition!" Apparently Kaisa sees absolutely nothing suspicious, because she's already gravitating towards the gate, and the other Wardens, Puppy right by her side. "There has been some real bullshit going on, have you heard? You've probably heard. But you haven't heard heard, yanno what I mean?" And unless stopped, she's just going to be sidling up to the other Wardens, hands propped on her hips, a friendly smile on her lips, and apparently ready to cheerfully gossip about every single thing that's gone wrong since Jonas disappeared.
Velanna per usual is lingering towards the back of the group, eyes narrowed as she takes in all the jovial greetings with suspicion. Things didn't turn out well the last time they met with a larger force of Wardens. Really things, in general, hadn't gone well for any of them at any point in the past year.
While others introduce themselves, she remains silent. Really, they should know who she is already. Even among the Wardens Dalish are rare, and she's also gained the distinction of being one who traveled with Warden-Commander Cousland. If they don't know who she is, then someone else can explain it to them, because she can't be bothered.
There’s no out-of-place magic to sense—no weakness in the Veil, nothing to make any danger senses tingle. Humphreys is already turning to guide them into the fortress while the witty repartee about cooking and horrors and chairs goes on behind him—
(“If you want to go out and conscript a cook, Anders, and put them through the joining, then be my guest,” Alistair says somewhere in the background, wounded in a way that’s about 30% sincere. That was the best stew he’d ever made, and most of these Wardens are Fereldans, they shouldn’t be whining like a pack of delicate Orlesian nuns.)
—and some of his own Wardens linger to walk alongside the newcomers and listen, appreciative and curious.
“We heard there was an Archdemon in Ferelden,” one of them says to Kaisa, “and then we heard there wasn’t, and then we heard there was one in the Anderfels after all. That’s why we’re all here, though. We thought—well. We were going to go help. But the Anderfels—”
“Are a mess,” Humphreys supplies from the front, having apparently mastered the leadership skill of eavesdropping. “Like untangling a knot. If we pull the wrong string we might make it worse—you understand, Senior Warden,” he adds to Nathaniel in particular, looking back over his shoulder.
Ahead of them all, the Warden guiding Oghren to the privy snorts, but it’s half a laugh. “No one ever told me dwarves were charming,” she says. “And I guess this is why.” When there’s a clear line of sight across the courtyard, she points. “That way. And when you come out, the dining hall will be to your right. I’m sure you’ll hear us.”
[ OOC | Sorry for the delay xoxo. You guys can also tag this whenever you want! ]
Nathaniel can only assume he was addressed because he was a noble. Increasingly, he is growing at ease, beginning to really believe they will have order and leadership at last. Everything here is welcoming and ordinary and that is a vast relief compared to everything they have experienced so far.
"If you know sewing, Commander, you would understand there is only the one string. The only way to untangle it is to loosen the center of the knot first."
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Oghren. King of Diplomats.
This was why he did the fighting and left the talking up to other people. Sorry, Bethany. You were definitely doing good work there but Oghren was just...Oghren.
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That was just a thing that happened.
She put her smile back on, and stated simply, "Oghren would like a bathroom and a healer, please."
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"Looks like some of us already feel at home here, Commander," he says easily. "Senior Warden Nathaniel Howe. We met years ago, but I think you were a Senior Warden then. It's good to see you've put on a little less weight than age, though I can't say the same."
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"Warden Serra, at your service. It's an honor, Commander." She falls silent again, content to observe even as she's silently hoping for a chance to get off those aching feet at some point in the near future.
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Especially-especially when he's a little too busy poking Nate's definitely not overly large stomach and then catching himself and saluting.
"I'm their spirit healer." Name? What name? He has no name. "I'll work on finding ways Howe he can lose weight, fear not." Put on weight. Please. At least they can have a real bed to work that out in.
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And looking at walls...
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***
But Warden ranks including a number of unruly ragtag outcasts isn't a condition exclusive to the South. Humphreys may be too dignified for it all, but he doesn't seem surprised or offended, either, as he returns the salute to everyone who bothered. He even smiles wider at the healer being handsy with Howe. Meanwhile one of the Wardens behind him even laughs, stepping out of their loose formation and jerking her head toward the gate to beckon Oghren to follow—to a latrine, most likely. Probably not to be sacrificed in any magic rituals.
"I'm honored to meet you," Humphreys aims in the approximate direction of the new faces, then, "and to see you again," at the old ones. "We have a lot to discuss, but let's discuss it inside. The cook has been waiting to spring into action for days. And—" He pauses a moment, with dramatic skill, as he turns and gestures back toward the gate to invite them forward. "—we have chairs."
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She stands toward the back on their arrival, tall and still and dour as ever, her gaze flitting over every nook and cranny of the Keep when it isn't scanning over Humphreys. She's beyond trusting cheerful greeters, regardless of the mission. One hand is always free to snatch a dagger off her back should the occasion call for it, and she smiles at no one.
...though she does curl her lip when Oghren speaks up, because Oghren is the worst.
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At first, he had hangs back, mostly to let the people who knew the Warden-Commander greet him first.
"Chairs are always welcome after a long journey," he comments lightly. When attention is given him he salutes and introduces himself simply as 'Felix.' He isn't sure if any of these people have heard about what his Father did in Redcliffe and would rather avoid that if he can.
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Or 'accidentally' on Teren.
"Heh. So I get a pretty girl huh? Stick with me and I'll show you what fun we could have after I take my piss." Classy.
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And when the Warden fortress finally appears, Ciri hangs at the back of the group and adjusts the weight of her sword with others handle the more formal introductions. There is no salutes from her and, in fact, her expression remains utterly neutral.
"A drink or two wouldn't be bad either after the horrors we faced," she muses eyeing Alistair. "And who would have ever guessed it would come in the form of cooking."
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It also gives her a chance to feel out any magic that might be around. She wants this to be a good visit!
...but the last time they wanted a good visit they got Weisshaupt or the Winter Palace so she is. Taking a page from Teren and Nathaniel's books. Polite, friendly, secretly cautious.
She smiles back at the Warden Commander's joke, though, and then giggles at Ciri, before she tipped her head down into a bow.
"You've never faced real horror until someone puts a bowl of 'Surprise Stew' in front of you." She dimpled. "Just let us know where we can stow our gear, and we will be delighted to join you."
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Which means it's most definitely a trap.
At least he can try to help keep everyone alive, since he knows it's a trap and everything will go wrong soon enough. Maybe they can have chairs and food before they get attacked. That would be a pleasant change.
"Right. Lead on. Let's see what your cook is up to. Alistair, why don't we have a cook? Is there some rule that says we must have so many Wardens before we get a cook and nice chairs?"
It's always best to seem distracted and looking for luxuries when you know you're going to get attacked.
"We could always use Oghren as a chair after he's relieved himself."
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She's quick to salute at the appropriate time, and looks like she's about to match the Warden Commander's almost-grin. Finally. Look at this place. An actual Warden fortress, filled with actual Wardens, and not a demon to be seen.
"Thank you for the kind invitation! It's so great to be here, you have no idea what it's been like, even in the Inquisition. Even before the Inquisition!" Apparently Kaisa sees absolutely nothing suspicious, because she's already gravitating towards the gate, and the other Wardens, Puppy right by her side. "There has been some real bullshit going on, have you heard? You've probably heard. But you haven't heard heard, yanno what I mean?" And unless stopped, she's just going to be sidling up to the other Wardens, hands propped on her hips, a friendly smile on her lips, and apparently ready to cheerfully gossip about every single thing that's gone wrong since Jonas disappeared.
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While others introduce themselves, she remains silent. Really, they should know who she is already. Even among the Wardens Dalish are rare, and she's also gained the distinction of being one who traveled with Warden-Commander Cousland. If they don't know who she is, then someone else can explain it to them, because she can't be bothered.
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(“If you want to go out and conscript a cook, Anders, and put them through the joining, then be my guest,” Alistair says somewhere in the background, wounded in a way that’s about 30% sincere. That was the best stew he’d ever made, and most of these Wardens are Fereldans, they shouldn’t be whining like a pack of delicate Orlesian nuns.)
—and some of his own Wardens linger to walk alongside the newcomers and listen, appreciative and curious.
“We heard there was an Archdemon in Ferelden,” one of them says to Kaisa, “and then we heard there wasn’t, and then we heard there was one in the Anderfels after all. That’s why we’re all here, though. We thought—well. We were going to go help. But the Anderfels—”
“Are a mess,” Humphreys supplies from the front, having apparently mastered the leadership skill of eavesdropping. “Like untangling a knot. If we pull the wrong string we might make it worse—you understand, Senior Warden,” he adds to Nathaniel in particular, looking back over his shoulder.
Ahead of them all, the Warden guiding Oghren to the privy snorts, but it’s half a laugh. “No one ever told me dwarves were charming,” she says. “And I guess this is why.” When there’s a clear line of sight across the courtyard, she points. “That way. And when you come out, the dining hall will be to your right. I’m sure you’ll hear us.”
[ OOC | Sorry for the delay xoxo. You guys can also tag this whenever you want! ]
no subject
"If you know sewing, Commander, you would understand there is only the one string. The only way to untangle it is to loosen the center of the knot first."